Bus Tickets
by Sabaku No Natsuo
Summary: Traveling by bus can have it's perks. For example, a thin blond boy attaching himself to you...eventual KuroFai
1. The First of Many

**A/N: **So...HERE IT IS!! The first chapter in my first multi-chaptered KuroFai!! AHHHHHHH!! -runs around screaming- I hope you guys enjoy my present to you on my b-day! Yay! I'm finally 17!! Well, tell me what you think about it, since the plot I came up with it...odd. I'm going to be using a lot of moments and motifs from the manga, so look out for those.

**Summary: **Traveling by bus can have it's perks. For example, one thin blond boy attaching himself to you.

**Warnings: **Nothing much in this chapter except Swearing (but come on...that's a norm here.)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 1

The first time I saw him he was standing in front of a bus schedule chewing on his bottom lip. What had possessed me to walk up to him? Much less what had made me talk to him? I'd never been social before so how did this one seemingly insignificant boy make me talk to him with no provocation?

He must have seen me coming closer to him because the closer I got the closer he seemed to laughing. I stopped next to him and scanned the lettering, knowing that I probably should have been reading it as well.

"So do you plan on talking?" he asked me in a playful tone that held laughter that felt like it was lighter than air.

I shrugged, "Maybe." I feigned interest in the schedule in front of me as I saw him turn in my peripheral vision.

"How about you travel with me?" he questioned smiling at me brightly.

"Excuse me?" I faced him with a look of unmistakable 'what-the-hell'.

"Well, I've been traveling alone all this time," he twisted the bottom of his white and blue tee-shirt around his fingers. "And I just want some one to keep me company."

I folded my arms over my chest, "Tell me how this is my problem."

His lips curled into an all-knowing grin, "You're still listening aren't you?"

My mouth and mind scrambled for words but nothing came out of my stumbling lips. Then in one motion this strange boy grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and started to walk away with me gaping and paralyzed by his statement.

"It's a good thing that you agreed to come with me," he spoke out so light-heartedly. "Now I won't be so lonely."

There was something painful hidden in his voice that stupefied me further as he took me closer and closer to the ticket counter. I stood up taller and walked a bit more dignified than before. The boy looked back at me confused but then this confusion melted into a smile. I tried to hasten my pace to keep up with him, but he just quickened that much more to stay ahead of me.

"I _never _agreed to travel with you," I pointed out still walking despite my words.

"If what you're saying is true," the blond haired boy began. "Then why are you still walking with me?"

Again I was left to ponder and stare at his back while this kid, whose eyes were far too blue and too wide to be real, led me to where ever he pleased.

He stopped at the counter and slapped his hand lightly against the plastic, "Two tickets to Syracuse."

Just as he began to pull out his wallet I reached out and grabbed his wrist, "I can buy my own damn ticket."

It was this string of words that would forever change my life. I had no idea at the time of what I had been getting myself into. I thought I was just buying a ticket to some city where I would observe people and learn something from them like Tomoyo asked me. I never thought that this one little chance encounter in a small Trenton bus station would throw me into a mess of blond hair, dirty hotels and a million bus rides.

* * *

"Don't you want to know my name?" the blond kid leaned over me in his seat.

"Why would I want to know your name?" I retorted not really thinking about anything considering he decided to steady himself with one hand on my thigh.

"Well, I think it's awfully stupid to travel with some one before you know their name," he stated making me want to strangle him for pointing out my own obliviousness to my current situation.

"Weren't you the one to ask me to travel with you?"

"Yes but it's rude to ask some one else's name before you give your own," he pointed out as his fingers flitted just slightly against my jeans.

I wanted to let out a disbelieving laugh. How did he keep catching me in these loops? This kid, whom I've only known for less than an hour, knew how to make me feel stupid. I never felt stupid, I felt defensive and violent.

I opened my mouth to tell him where he could stick his manners and he cut me off, "My name is Fai."

I looked down at him, his smile broad and warm, "I'm Kurogane."

"What a lovely name," Fai commented pushing himself off of me and resting his head against his knuckles.

I didn't respond, thinking it better to not give him anymore fuel. His smile became impish as he let his hand fall from his chin to his own thighs.

"It is very nice to finally know your name Kuro-chuu," the boy said laughing a little at his own joke.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed at how badly he'd defiled my name.

"Hush Kuro-pi," Fai chided me in a mock-mother tone. "These nice people don't want to be disturbed."

"I don't give a damn!" I yelled feeling my face get redder and redder with each passing word. "My name is Kurogane, not Kuro-chuu! Do you want me to spell it?!"

"Oh could you please?" Fai requested excitedly as he bounced in his seat.

"K-U-R-O-G-A-N-E!" I wanted to punctuate each letter with a solid hit to his face.

"No, I don't think that's how you spell it…" He replied looking as if he were in a deep place inside his head.

"Hell if I don't know how to spell my own name," I muttered folding my arms tighter against my chest while I burrowed deeper into the semi-worn seats of the bus.

"I think you spell it like: K-U-R-O-C-H-I," he beamed ever so brightly at me when he finished spelling out the mangled version of my name.

"I WILL KILL YOU!!" I threatened as my arms lunged at him.

He easily evaded my grab and then started to laugh when I went for him again. Fai was either hysterical or I wasn't as intimidating as the kids at school thought I was.

* * *

For the most part Fai spoke to me. He was the one to start everything, even the sidelong glances from the other people riding the bus. When he wasn't talking he was staring out the window or leaning his head against it.

So far I'd found out that Fai was seventeen.

And that was about it.

Now Fai had found out that I was eighteen, and I hated every single way that he chopped my name into a million cute fluffy pieces.

And he wasn't about to let the second item on that list go to waste.

But there were these moments when his expression fell from the happy-go-lucky one he wore when he spoke to me. His smile fell into something more serene with a quiet beauty about it. During these rare moments I would look for a moment before turning my head away to try and get some sleep.

I had no business looking at Fai when he was unguarded. So, I wouldn't.

I pulled at the edges of my blanket to stretch it out across my body. It was getting colder and colder the further we traveled north. But that was really to be expected. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea to go to New York in the winter but it wasn't my idea. It was Fai's. And for now I'd just go along with it.

* * *

The bus stopped abruptly, causing Fai and I to jolt out of sleep and out of our seats. When the doors opened they made a swift hissing sound. Many of the occupants began to gather their luggage and personal belongings. Fai took this opportunity to limber his muscles and make high pitched noises to accompany this exercise. I took the time to round up all of my possessions so that I could possibly run away from the crazy blond in the seat next to me.

"Good morning Kuro-pin!" he exclaimed slumping over in his seat after that vigorous routine.

"For the last time," I breathed out trying not to decapitate him right then and there. "It's Kurogane."

"Yeah, I said that," Fai nodded his head. "Kuro-pi!"

I tried to ignore him, but had I been a dog my heckles would have been raised and my snarl strong. He started to grab at his stuff, which wasn't much but just enough to wonder from bus to bus apparently.

"So now that we're here, what do you want to do?" Fai asked me as the rows of people in front of us filed out of the bus.

"What makes you think that I want to do anything with you?" I retorted giving him a good long glare.

"Silly man!" he laughed out. "You're already traveling with me! You might as well make the best of it!"

Fai stood to join the crowd of people that were emptying out into the cold winter morning of New York. Since the two of us found each other in New Jersey we were both heavily jacketed to protect ourselves from the harsh winds and unforgiving plummets of the temperature.

His hands wondered to pull his jacket up, as mine did as well, and we both fastened the clasps and buttoned the buttons to create small warm forts for ourselves. Then Fai held out his small pale hand to me and for some reason I took it. He helped me to my feet and we followed the other passengers off of the bus and into Syracuse.

"So what do you think we should do first?" Fai asked once again when we stepped into the crisp morning air.

I shrugged through the thickness of my coat, "I don't care."

I really didn't want to do anything. I didn't even want to be away from my house but I had to be because of Tomoyo. If it wasn't for her I'd be at home right now watching time float passed me without a second thought. But if it wasn't for her, I also would have lost my mind a long time ago.

"Okay then we're going to catch another bus!" Fai said as he wrapped one of his hands around my puffy elbow.

"Why?! We just got off of a bus!" I demanded to know why we'd have to ride two buses in one day. That was just absurd.

Fai turned to face me, his pink nose closer to mine than what I would have liked, "Don't worry Kuro-chuu," he whispered with his eyes half-lidded. "This one will be a much shorter ride in comparison."

I stepped back a little, "Where are we going?"

His face split into an elated grin, "We're going to a small town near Canada!"

Then Fai started to pull me towards the bus station located near where we hopped off of a Jersey bus. I knew that by asking him where we were going I was consenting to being his little travel companion but something about who Fai was made me want to stay and find out more about him.

And oh, trust me, I'd find out a whole hell of a lot about him the longer this impromptu companionship lasted. From the moment I saw Fai I knew that my life would never be the same.

"Two tickets to Watertown!" Fai asked of the clerk.

"I can buy my own damn ticket!" I yelled pulling out my own wallet with no more affection for the man than when I first yelled at him.

_End of The first of many_

* * *

**A/N**: How'd I do? I hope that you liked it as much as I liked writing it. Really, it's a ton-o-fun to write these two...if my fics are any proof of that. lol. So tell me ANYTHING you thought of while you read this!! I really will be needing all the help I can get from you guys. Oh and I'm going to eventually bring Syaoran and Sakura into this!!

**Preivew**_: "'Where in the hell are we?' I inquired huddling closer into my jacket. 'We're in Watertown!' Fai explained. 'No, why are we here?' I rephrased my own question. Fai turned to me with a soft expression and answered, 'Because winter here is the prettiest...'" _


	2. Phrases

**A/N: **I was at my cousins house these passed two days. I had a great time so I guess it wasn't a total loss on writing, correct? The first chapter was basically just to set everything up, sorry it was so slow. But this chapter hopefully be more to your liking. In my opinion the realtionship between Kuro and Fai developed rather quickly in the manga so it's going to develope quickly in this story. BUT! Not too quickly to where it seems fake. So if Kuro is a little more...odd in this chapter it's b/c he's startin' to crush on our little Fai!

**Summary: **After 'convincing' Kuro to travel with him, Fai takes to teasing him...Surprise, Surprise. First stop, Watertown!

**Warnings: **Hmmm nothin' much to warn about besides the obvious, swearing, some very LIGHT Shonen-Ai...'bout it till we get to the...good stuff -wink wink- -nudge nudge-

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2

Fai settled into the seat next to me, his hands searching his tight pockets for something. With a triumphant sound he produced a small green zune from his jeans. I leaned over to see that it was fully charged. For some reason this mystified me.

I'd never thought that Fai ever stepped off of a bus and into a hotel or a friend's house. I thought that he'd only existed to support the public transportation system.

He stuck one ear bud in and smiled as he tapped his thumb to the beat. I couldn't take my mind off of the fact that his mp3 player was completely charged. If I had known what his answer was beforehand I probably would have just left everything the way it was and not ask him. But, since my curiosity often gets the better of me, I had to ask.

"How is that fully charged?" I pointed to the flat object.

"I plug it into a wall silly Kuro-chuu!" Fai responded waving the available headphone around to demonstrate my…silliness…

"Stop calling me that!" I harshly bit out trying not to disturb the few people on the bus.

Fai shrugged his coat-less shoulders, "You're the one who asked."

"Well," if I was going to get any answers out of him I'd have to phrase my questions just right it would seem. "Where do you charge it?"

The blond looked at me with a look of surprise. It appeared that he stumbled around in his head for a minute before finally deciding on an answer, "In motel rooms. You honestly didn't think I just slept on buses every night did you?"

Some inexplicable thing happened. I found myself unable to defend myself.

"You did?!" Fai exclaimed in utter disbelief. "That's so cute!"

He gave my arm a little push and then nuzzled my bicep. Needless to say I was two seconds away from throttling him. No one called me cute. No one cuddled with my arm. And no one lived should such a fluke occur.

Fai must have sensed it coming because just as I went to swipe at him he cowered to the window in a fit of laughter. I reached for him again only to be met with thin air between my fingers. He managed to duck down far enough to escape me. When he popped up from his temporary sanctuary he was wearing the biggest, dumbest grin I'd ever seen.

Fai bobbed his head around to the music on his zune and then hit his forehead against mine softly.

…Well…that was new.

He didn't care to elaborate on this either. Fai merely turned back to face the front of the bus with a strangely warm smile on his face. I meanwhile was trying to figure out the oddity that was sitting next to me.

* * *

About an hour later we were standing at a rusted old bus stop in a town completely hidden by the snow. The layers had to equal up to four feet, maybe more from the look of some of the yards within my line of vision. Fai stretched and wrapped his blue scarf around his face more securely. I pulled my small duffle back onto my shoulder and waited for him to lead the way to where ever he planned on taking me.

While I'd been uncomfortable with handing control over to this kid, who by the way was not in his right mind any of the time, I knew that there was something about him that made me not want to resist.

"Where in the hell are we?" I inquired huddling closer into my jacket.

"We're in Watertown!" Fai explained placing a standard blue book bag on his back.

"No, why are we here?" I rephrased my own question, knowing how sensitive to words I'd have to be from here on out.

Fai turned to me with a soft expression and answered, "Because winter here is the prettiest..."

In that small moment of sincerity I was sure that I'd been dreaming. The look he wore. The way the snow glistened against his pale complexion. The way his crystal clear blue eyes stared up into mine. It was all too romantic for anything I'd ever experienced.

I wanted to reach out and caress his face just to make sure that his smile was real. To make sure that I wasn't just sleeping on a bus somewhere in New Jersey or Alabama.

But as sure as the earth around me was frozen, Fai was smiling at me gently.

Then as soon as it was there it was gone. Fai reached out and pushed me lightly before turning around to get his bearings.

"First thing's first," he spoke out a little shakily. "We're going to find somewhere to stay!"

He pointed in the direction of where we were headed, a gesture which earned us quite a few looks from the locals.

Even though Fai made no claim to have been here before, or to have never seen this place before, he never once stopped to ask some one for directions. Occasionally he would look up at the frosted street signs in the small New England-style town. Other than that, he seemed to know just where he was going.

Abruptly Fai halted in front of a small, one-story Inn. It had a hanging sign that was beyond being readable from the amount of snow and ice on it but where it lacked a name it gained something of a nice outer appearance. Modest and frostbitten wood outlined the roof and showed through the white brick in various parts as a piece of the architectural design. But I wasn't about to go into detail about how nice the outside of the Inn looked when Fai was just standing there with his hands clasps underneath his chin in silent admiration.

"Are we going to go in or what?" I asked him feeling my body temperature lower from the subtle winds.

"Oh!" he seemed almost surprised that I said anything at all. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go in."

Fai pushed the door open and revealed a quaintly decorated lobby. It was small but much (_much_) warmer than the outside. I rubbed my hands together and followed Fai to the front counter. He slapped the counter much like he had at the two bus stations we'd been in already, and Fai was answered by a man who had no hair on his head but a thick brown mustache on his face.

"Welcome to the Evans Inn," he greeted looking over his glasses, which were cut in half evenly. "My name is Troy, so what can I do for you?"

"Troy, we'd like to rent a room!" Fai asked of the man in a bright smile.

"Would you like two separate rooms. Our rooms only have one bed in each," Troy explained in an almost heartbroken tone.

Fai hissed at this, "How much is a room?"

It marveled me then that he could be worried about money when he was carrying around a zune and buying bus tickets to anywhere, USA.

"Sixty-three dollars a night," the man replied flipping the page in the sign in book.

Fai turned to me with a worried expression and then faced the desk man again, "That's fine Troy. I think little Kuro-chan here can suck it up for one night." He laughed light heartedly as he picked up the pen from the desk and began to sign in for the both of us.

I was about to bellow out some form of a retort but Troy interrupted as he clanged against the keys that hang neatly on the wall just beyond the reach of whoever was in front of his desk. Fai took the key from him with a gracious thanks and a nod of his head.

And before I knew it I was being dragged up the stairs by Fai's unrelenting grip.

* * *

Moments after Fai took my bag and threw it in our room (yeah I was still mad about that) he took me back out into the cold to look for a place to get…_clothes. _If ever there was a more trivial thing I had yet to hear of it.

"How about this hat?" Fai asked dropping a red and black bucket hat on my head.

"Do I have to tell you again?" I began as I angrily took the offending cloth off of my head. "I'm not going to get more clothes. I don't need them."

Fai took the hat from my hands, "Fine then I'll buy them."

He sauntered off towards a shirt rack in the small clothing shop. I huffed out a breath and followed after him. If I didn't stop him he'd buy me a whole bag full of ridiculous clothing.

"I said that I don't need them," I reiterated placing my hand on the cool metal of the hanger that held the shirt he was contemplating.

Fai looked up at me with a fake smile that threatened to explode, "And I say I'll buy them for you. If I'm buying them, who are you to refuse?"

"I'm Kurogane, and I'm refusing," I told him prying his hand from the black button up shirt's hanger.

"Well, I'm Fai and I'm insisting and buying," he emptied my hand of his wrist and went back to the hanger with a sour smile.

"Listen you!" I ordered taking the shirt from his hand and putting it back on the hanger. "Money's not an issue. I don't need your help."

"Kuro-pi, I _want _to buy this for you," Fai said taking the shirt from my hands in a smooth motion. "Are you always this ungrateful when receiving gifts?"

I was taken back by his sudden change in attitude. Instead of being underhandedly angry at me, he was smiling again with the shirt in his hands. I was confused beyond all belief.

Why would _anyone _be so bent on buying new clothes? It just didn't make any sense to me. And it wouldn't make sense until much later on in the journey. But at that time I just settled for fighting for my pride a little while longer before Fai would give up and just buy what he wanted.

Perhaps it was a small victory but it was victory and I had my pride to think about. After all, I hadn't gotten a say in the sleeping arrangements.

* * *

When Fai was done buying clothes he walked back to the Inn and deposited the bag on the floor. I had thought that we were just going to stay inside. Well, no matter what Fai did I wanted to stay inside. It wasn't as if we had to go everywhere together.

But no, he had other plans. Fai grabbed me by my arm, just when I was starting to relax in the small wooden chair in the corner of our room, and proceeded to take me back outside into the cold. Once the two of us were submerged in the cold Fai chanced a look at me. I was cold, annoyed and tired.

It goes without saying that I wasn't in the mood.

"Come on," Fai hit my shoulder lightly. "Cheer up Kuro-rin!"

I felt a growl build up in my chest. I did not want to be out there in the cold. But, as there seemed to be a pattern, Fai really didn't care. He simply latched his hand onto the sleeve of my impossibly puffy jacket and led me away.

When Fai stopped, oh so abruptly so as to make me crash into him, he threw out his arms as if to present the place that he wanted to take me to. I glanced up at the scenery. While I'd never been one for the romance of the north, it was a really nice place. There was soft snow everywhere. It blanketed the ground, shimmered on the benches and covered the single walkway that flowed through the area. It almost looked like a dog park but it had to be just a park despite the lack of a jungle gym for the kids.

"What--" I stopped myself, earning a grin from Fai. "Why are we here?"

"To enjoy the New England landscape!" Fai shouted to the snow.

His voice bounced back to my ears in a not-too terrible sound. Even though Fai annoyed the hell out of me, I had to admit even he had his good points. One being his voice. Not that any of this reached beyond the realms of my mind.

I looked to my side and saw that Fai was no longer there. When I turned around to look for him, I found him on the ground making a snow angel…and laughing as he did so.

"Kuro-tan!" Fai called out as he moved his arms slower now. "Come on!"

"When hell freezes over," I informed him while I attempted to preserve body heat by folding my arms tighter against my body.

"Awwww…" he whined sticking his lip out slightly. Instantly the 'sadness' in his face dissolved and he pushed himself off of the ground.

"We should probably go back to the Inn," he suggested dusting his backside off. "After all, tomorrow it's another city to visit!"

Fai turned on his heel and almost skipped back to our room at the warm Inn. All the way he didn't talk, only hummed little songs as I walked beside him. Behind us the sun was slowly sinking, and I couldn't help but wonder where the day went. It was like we stepped off of the bus and into a time warp.

* * *

"Get some rest Kuro-pin," Fai ordered patting my shoulder. "Tomorrow we've gotta decide where we're going to."

I let out a sardonic chuckle, "You mean you've gotta decide and drag me along, right?"

Fai rolled over and laughed quietly, "More or less."

Before that day in Watertown I'd known as much about Fai as I knew about nuclear fission. But after all the things I saw…I knew three things:

One- Fai _didn't _exist to single handedly support bus drivers everywhere.

Two- I had to be careful about how I phrased everything I said to him or else it would blow up in my face.

Three- This wasn't the first time Fai had been to Watertown New York.

_End of Phrases _

* * *

**A/N: **I have to say...I lived in Ft. Drum (the army base next to Watertown) for about 5 1/2 years, but the only thing that's really accurate about the little town I described in here is the climate. The only reason I went to Watertown was for WalMart and to go to downtown...not quite sure where downtown was but it was real purty! XD lol!

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"'We should buy a map!' Fai shouted just before we reached the bus station. Without so much as another word he dragged me into a small farm store and proceeded to focus all of his brain power on buying just the 'right' map..."_


	3. Readable Music

**A/N: **Kay...so yeah...I'm getting a lot of feedback on this story...and I have to say...THANK YOU!! I mean it! Honestly if it weren't for you guys I really would have been looking for more things to distract me from writing. I honest to God love to write...it's just that I tend to distract myself on purpose (and for some odd reason I hide things from myself as well). I have no idea why I do either of them. It's just one of those things...And speaking of distractions! Now that I have finished all the current chapters of_ 'Junjou Romantica' _I have to start on X/1999...But yeah...I reccomed Junjou...seriously...it's great!

**Summary: **For Kuro going to Watertown provided the smallest bit of insight into Fai: He's totally mental and should be checked into a crazy house ASAP. But it also showed him a more...sincere sliver of him as well. Could this be the whole reason he's still traveling with Fai...?

**Warnings: **My obbsession with music is shamelessly put on display here. Granted it's only 2 songs, still I feel bad for resorting to lyrics to help move along my story...But I felt it had to be done...Hopefully I was correct...? Oh yeah and the swearing...duh...the tiniest bit of Shonen-Ai...but come on! I was reading Junjou Romantica!! XO Cut me some slack!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 3

The next morning seemed to be a blur of limbs in my hazy vision. Initially the only thing I could see was a pair of thin pale fingers barely hanging off of the bridge of my nose. The next thing to come into focus was the fact that there was one awkwardly placed foot on my hip.

The very last thing to be called to the front of my mind was that Fai was giggling in his sleep.

Then he started to pet my nose as if it were his loyal dog.

I swatted his hand away and rolled over to face the wall, as opposed to facing my… 'bedmate'.

_Wasn't I facing this way when I went to sleep…? _I wondered briefly before being poked in the shoulder blade with a toe.

But, there wasn't enough time to wonder about how I fell asleep because if Fai's toe wasn't digging into my skin it was wondering around. And that was just weird. His foot started off on my shoulder blade followed my spine and landed on my ass.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I bellowed arching away from his touch.

I turned around to see Fai waking up with a big, stupid grin on his face. He knew what he was doing. This disturbed me on so many levels.

"You knew!" I accused him sitting up.

"Knew what Kuro-pin?" Fai asked stretching out languidly while still laying down.

Damn, had to rephrase myself.

"You were awake the whole time!" I yelled feeling that anger was hard to maintain when Fai was wiggling around like he was.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he answered pushing himself up finally.

"Like hell you don't…" I muttered getting out of bed to dress myself for the day.

"Yes, yes," Fai mumbled copying my action. "We've got a lot to do today. Don't want to spend it all in bed now do we?"

After a moment of gray silence Fai hummed out a sound of frustration, "I think we should _not _stay at a hotel tonight. Don't you agree Kuro-chuu?"

I looked up at him from my duffle bag, "Why do you bother asking me when your mind is already made up?"

Fai laughed at me and pulled out a few pieces of clothing from his book bag, "Because it's fun."

The boy scooted closer to me and put our foreheads together. He closed his blue eyes and smiled softly at me. A sigh ghosted across my nose and then he stood up and danced off to the bathroom to change for the day. I sat down flat on my but and let out a held breath. I didn't really understand what was going on in my head and I didn't like that feeling.

But I decided that it was best not to question it at the time. Leaving it as it was meant less of a headache in the foreseeable future and that was all I cared about back then. It was easier to just not entangle myself in something like that.

* * *

"Hmmm…" Fai tapped his chin. "Where should we go next?" He turned away from the sidewalk in front of him and faced me.

"Watch where you're walking," I advised closing my eyes for a moment.

"Awww you really do care!" he shouted latching his arms around my neck to stop my movements.

"I do not!" I rebuked trying to untangle his fingers to make him let go of me. He was a lot stronger than he looked.

"Yes!" Fai contradicted me. "Yes you do!"

I let out a growl and continued to fight him but it seemed the more I struggled the tighter his hold got. Kinda like quick sand…

Then I stopped and he stood there holding me for a second before relinquishing his hold over me. He turned around and started walking again, as if what he just did was the most normal thing he'd ever done. But, judging by the looks from the people who surrounded us, it really wasn't that normal for them to see one guy hold another. It's not like I really cared about what they thought and considered 'normal'.

Or that I really paid any attention to them whatsoever.

Fai let out a loud sound. A sound that said that he had an idea. A sound that I was pretty sure that I'd come to hate.

"We should buy a map!!" he exclaimed grabbing my arm to use as a leash to lead me into a small farm store.

The blond stopped in front of a small wire shelving unit that held many magazines, maps and paperback books. Fai let go of my arm and proceeded to focus every bit of his brain power and attention on finding just the 'right' map. I on the other hand milled around the humble store aimlessly. If I had to say, I was more productive than he was.

Fai picked up an atlas and flipped through it while I stared at dusty peanut butter jars. He hummed a little and then took it up to the counter.

"Can we just buy this page?" Fai asked the clerk behind the counter.

My head spun to stare at him. Who in the hell just buys one page from an atlas? I walked up to the counter to see Fai. He smiled at me and then turned back to the poor confused clerk. I saw that the only page that Fai wanted was a full page map of the United States.

"Fai," I breathed out. "Just buy the whole thing."

He turned to me, he mouth gaping as if I told him to jump in a ditch. Despite his offended look he closed the atlas and pushed it closer to the man.

"We should get food too," Fai whispered eyeing me up. "And drinks."

The two of us went through the aisles and picked up pretty much whatever we saw. We then deposited our goods on the counter and wondered back to the freezers at the rear of the store. Fai took out the drinks and handed them to me. If I hadn't been a part of this I probably would have thought that the two kids who were raiding the local farm store were about to feed an entire orphanage.

Once we got back up to the counter most of our food was scanned and Fai was already fishing for his wallet. My arms were too full (not to mention cold) to reach for my own credit card so I let this one slide. But this was a one time thing. There was no way I was going to let my debt to Fai grow beyond buying me snacks and drinks.

* * *

We sat on the curb outside the bus station, our meals and clothes sitting next to us while we stared at a map of the U.S.

"Do you wanna go to Michigan?" Fai asked pointing to the mitten shaped state. "Or should we go further south since we're not going to a hotel tonight?"

I traced the map with my eyes and then it hit me. Fai was asking me where we wanted to go. Thus far it had been his game to just drag me around with him like a shadow but now he wanted my input.

"How about here?" I suggested pointing to Indiana.

Fai attempted to whistle but all that came from his lips was air, "Good choice. We'll be on the bus for a while!"

He closed the atlas and began to gather his things in his scrawny arms. I did the same and we both stood to walk into the station to buy our tickets. Our bags crinkled as we set them down in front of the ticket counter.

Fai slapped the desk, "Two tickets to Indiana!"

"Hey!" I yelled.

He turned around sheepishly and laughed half-heartedly, "Sorry Kuro-buu, thought I could get you again."

"No," I told him. "I can buy my own damn things. I _let _you buy the snacks."

"Whatever you say," Fai flicked his wrist and turned back to the ticket seller.

"The bus will stop in Pennsylvania but the Pittsburg station will have a bus that can take you to Indiana," she told us typing out something on her computer. "Do you still want the tickets to Pennsylvania?"

Fai nodded and she hit a button. Next thing I knew we had tickets to get on the bus. My traveling…person stashed the tickets in his pockets and the led me to a bench within the station where we could wait for our bus to show up.

* * *

The bus was traveling down a rather bumpy road causing Fai's head to hit the window every now and again. This made me a little happy. But he didn't seem the least bit affected by it. No brain no pain I guess.

"Why Indiana?" Fai asked turning to me his loose headphone swinging from the roughness of the trip.

My shoulders moved up and down, "I don't know. It just seemed like a good place to go."

"Hmm," Fai looked back down at the LCD of his zune.

I leaned the back of my head against my seat and closed my eyes. Though I had plenty of money I didn't have an mp3 player like Fai so I was left to watch the matinee that was playing on my eye lids. Just when my mind was about to slip into a nap I felt a headphone deliver music to my ears.

Out of reflex I slapped Fai's hand. This didn't deter him. Fai plugged the music into my ear and then settled back into his seat without a word.

"_Slow down you crazy child. __You're so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid…? Where's the fire? What's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out. You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day…"_

I looked over at Fai who only smiled at me before turning back to the window. I listened to song, letting it lull me to sleep as the bus rocked this way and that.

"_When will you realize…Vienna waits for you?"_

* * *

_Pop!_

I jumped straight from sleep into fighting mode. My eyes scanned my body. No tears in my clothes. No wounds. Satisfied with my inspection I looked over at Fai. He was covered in potato chips and smiling as if it were the most hilarious thing he'd seen to date.

"What are you doing?" I inquired letting my blood slow down as I slumped against my seat.

"Enjoying the fruits of my labor," he answered sarcastically while gathering a few chips in his hand. "What about you?"

I shook my head and realized that there was still a headphone in my ear but no sound coming from it. One tug and it was out. I handed it back to Fai while my heart rate fell further and further into a normal range. His hands continued to clean up his lap and chest, once in a while offering me some of his snack.

"Oh the bus driver said we're almost there," he informed me before popping another chip in his mouth.

"Kay," I replied watching him search for any stray crumbs.

I couldn't help but want to laugh at him. Fai seemed so intent on finding every last bit of chip that he didn't even notice that he kept bumping into my leg. The same thing must have went for me as well though because I didn't remember to get angry at him for invading my personal space.

* * *

Fai's hands twisted above his head, "Our first lay over on our travels!" he squealed while cracking various bones in his back and arms.

I merely stood next to him and stretched out my legs considerably less obvious than him. He stooped down and grabbed his back pack. This time I led the way to the ticket counter.

"One ticket to Indiana," I gruffly asked of the ticket salesman.

"The next bus leaves in an hour," he told me ripping a ticket from the printer.

I grunted and pulled out my credit card (well the credit card Tomoyo gave me before I left).

After Fai bought his ticket we had sixty minutes to kill. And Fai seemed to be caught between annoying me and trying to touch me in this time. He did everything from making hand puppets out of our empty snack bags to tickling my neck when I wasn't paying attention. By default I had to yell at him periodically for his stupidity.

It was almost as if we were settling into normality now. Though I couldn't say that we were ever awkward around each other. It struck me as odd that I could be this familiar with some one I met only a few days ago when I could barely stand some of the people I'd known for years upon years.

"Come on," Fai commanded slinging his bag over his shoulder and offering his hands out to me. "Only a few more minutes before our bus leaves. If we wanna get seats together then we have to leave now!"

I followed him to the back of the bus and watched, a little impatiently, as he settled every item known to man in the overhead compartment and under the seat in front of his. Finally he turned to me and smiled before taking a seat. There were no words exchanged even after I sat down. It was…oddly comforting yet oddly unsettling at the same time.

The silence. The quiet. Something that I had experienced very few times since I began this impromptu journey.

But as far as Fai went, he had to fill my ears with something. Again he stuck his headphone in my ear and turned his zune on.

"_Even when I close my eyes, I'll never recreate the time that flies. Consequences hanging there. The sky will fall but I don't care…"_

The dull thrum of the song, the gentle rocking of the bus, Fai's hand tapping closely to mine, was enough to put me into a light slumber within the first few minutes towards the bus ride to Indiana.

There were no dreams, only lyrics in my ear.

"_Be the sunlight in my every day…"_

_End of Readable Music_

* * *

**A/N: **Yup yup...I got a review requesting that I put more detail into the surroundings and such. I hope that the order has been filled? I felt like this chapter was more RIn style don't you? The first two were...really fun to write but this has more of me in it I guess you could say. Perhaps the nostalgia of writing about Watertown got to me. -shrugs- Oh btw! The first song was- _Vienna by: Billy Joel_ and the second one was _Juliet by: Emilie Autumn_. Both amazing songs that I listen to almost religiously...Very different but I have a very different taste in music. Lol!

Sadly I have to inform you guys...I will not be updating 'till I'm back home...Which will be the 21st. I can't promise I chapter that day, but I will try hard to be attentive to you guys!! I'm very sorry but it's crunch time with family and packing and such. I will try to have 'something' happen in the next chapter instead of these dodgy hints...

**Preview of next chapter: **_None...very sorry for this..._

* * *


	4. Abandon Others

**A/N: **...I have quite a few GOOD excuses for being so late with this chapter (i.e. my cat is preggers, writer's block, getting sunburns etc...) but I will not use them. Mostly because HERE IT IS!! -fail trumpets and lame confetti in the background- Okay everyone don't be too excited or anything...lol. I hope you guys like it. I took me FOREVER to get it right.

**Summary: **The next place on their list of 'must-sees' is Indiana? But what is there to do in the middle of winter...? ((Don't get too excited...trust me))

**Warnings: **I think I'm getting worse at hiding the BL people! Quick! Avert the children's eyes! NOOOOO!...Ahem...and swearing...Uh-DUR!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"_But Cupid's automatic must have fired multiple shots-" _

The music suddenly cut off, leaving my head filled with silence. This was somewhat of a shock to me. Up until now if I wasn't having music shoved into my eardrum Fai was talking about this and that and what that old lady's mole looked like. I pulled the headphone out of my ear and looked over at Fai. It was as if he hadn't noticed that the music had stopped.

"Hey," I grumbled as we hit a hard bump in the road. "The music stopped."

Fai glanced up at me sleepily, "Huh?"

He closed his book and took his zune out of his jean pockets (if you asked me his jeans were always a little too tight, perhaps this is why he is crazy…lack of blood to the brain). He stared at the screen for a little bit and then looked back at me.

"Yup, it would appear it has stopped," Fai happily reported.

"Well no shit Sherlock," I replied sarcastically. "Is it dead?"

"Kuro-puu," he was about to mock me I could feel it. "Zunes don't have life spans."

I growled at him and hit my head softly against the back of my seat, "Idiot, you know what I mean."

"Sure do!" Fai told me not a second after I was done. "You wanna listen to music."

I stayed quiet, so as not to validate or falsify this statement. I _did _like listening to music, but I'm sure that if I said that to Fai he'd find some way to twist it around to liking him. And there was no way I was going to mess with that conversation either, because Fai has this 'wonderful' talent of making everything I say sound like either I'm a pervert, in love with him, or like I was his pet.

"I guess there's just no other way," Fai finally said letting out a sigh. "If you wanna listen to music…"

My attention turned to him. How exactly did he plan on letting me listen to music when his zune was dead and we were out in the middle of traffic on a bus?

He slapped his thighs once, "The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and Round!"

Oh. God.

"Round and Round!" Fai yelled in a sing-song voice without actually singing.

Kill me. Now.

"The people on the bus go up and down! Up and down! Up and down! The people on the bu-"

I clapped my hand over his mouth. Since his eyes were closed, in all the 'excitement' of the song I assumed, he didn't have time to evade me. I leaned in close to him and I saw that his eyes were wide, with something that looked suspiciously like fear.

"If I take my hand off your mouth, will you stop singing that song?" I asked looking at him seriously.

He nodded his head vigorously. Slowly I retracted my hand from his mouth, so that I could cover it the second he started singing again. Fai smiled at me and sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap. I watched him from the corner of my eye. He was some one you couldn't trust easily…

And this was the first time that I saw that he was watching me just as much as I was watching him.

Fai turned to face me, a half serious, half devious look spread out easily on his lips and eyes. I turned a little to look at him. Stupidly I thought he wanted to talk. But in retrospect, even if he _had _wanted to talk, it would have been dangerous to listen to what he had to say while wearing a look _like that. _

I saw him lift his hands slowly and make a small diamond with his thumbs and index fingers. His voice came out in a small squeak, "The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout…" his fingers climbed an imaginary spout.

Shit. I hadn't phrased my order right.

I tried to cover his mouth, but this time he was ready for me. I swiped and caught air. I heard him laugh the lyrics to the song. And some part of me found this so endearing. The other part stomped this thought out as soon as it came into being.

Finally I got a hold of him and covered his mouth with my hand. I was about to name my conditions when I felt his tongue slide over my palm.

"You licked me!" I exclaimed pulling my hand away from him to wipe it off on my jeans.

"You were trying to deprive yourself of my angelic voice," Fai pointed out turning on the drama. "You had to be stopped."

I tapped his head with my knuckles, "Stop making things up to flatter yourself."

"Oh I have no need to Kuro-chu," he began as he took my hand from the top of his head and into his own hands. "You flatter me all on your own."

For a moment my brain sputtered and then broke down. I had never given him any sort of flattery. Where the hell did he get this from?! …Where does he get most of the things he comes up with from for that matter…?

* * *

"How about that place?" Fai asked pointing to a rather run down looking motel off to the left of where we were walking.

"Why not some place that doesn't look like it was beaten up by a gang?" I asked stopping with him to evaluate the motel.

"Oh Kuro-rin," Fai mocked me, again. "You should know that I don't spend money like a drunken sailor!"

"But," I began. I knew that by asking him about his life I was inviting him into mine. "Why not?"

He turned to me, an unhidden look of surprise on his face. First it twisted into confusion and then was promptly covered up by a silly expression.

"Well why should I?" Fai returned turning back to the direction of the motel. "I've gotta save my funds! You know, now that I'm supporting you as well."

"THE HELL YOU ARE!" I yelled letting my pride get in the way of finding out about him.

"Oh Kuro-buu it is okay to accept to help," he told me as he started to walk towards the motel on the opposite side of the road.

I grumbled loudly as we made our way across the not-busy road. He simply smiled as we walked. He smiled in an irritating way. I knew that it was a forced smile but I don't know how I knew or when I was able to distinguish between real and fake. Pushing it all to the wayside I caught up to him.

I probably should have known that staying in this hotel was a bad idea. Just from the outside, which was covered in dirt and a few holes that looked suspicious, I should have grabbed Fai by the elbow and forced him to go to a different motel. Yet in spite of this overwhelming feeling I still followed Fai through the door and into the half lobby of the motel.

"Excuse me!" Fai tapped the top of the desk with his nails.

I walked up to the desk to stand next to him, nearly slipping on dirty water in the process. A red haired girl with a shirt ten times too small for her appeared from some place beyond the counter. She rubbed her face a little before eyeing up the two of us like we were meant for her viewing pleasure.

"I would like a room for me and my buddy here," Fai told her before she could drawl out her welcome.

"Would you like one bed or two?" the attendant asked as her eyes glassed over slightly.

"Is it more expensive to get two beds?" the boy asked wrapping his index finger around his chin as if he were in deep thought.

"You betcha," the girl slurred, obviously feeling the effects of whatever she took before attending to us.

"Then we'll take one bed!" Fai answered pulling out a few bills from the pocket opposite the one that held his wallet.

She handed Fai a key on a gold painted room number tag. He took it happily, bouncing as we walked outside. We were in room 221 so a hike up chipped concrete stairs was in order. Fai walked up the side of the motel as if it were nothing, as if he didn't notice that the stairs were uneven and there were various conversations drifting out from the rooms next to us. Some sounded like drug deals, other could have been prostitution.

"We're here Kuro-mi!" Fai declared sticking the key into the door and unlocking it.

"Yes, I know," I told him as I followed this crazy guy into our room.

The room smelled like cold, wet towels and the only bed in the room was in slight disarray. For one reason or another that disturbed me. Fai looked a little disgusted by the room but he continued walking in, dropping his bag on the floor to add to the mess.

"Well, guess you get what you pay for, huh?" Fai commented as he tried to fix the blankets by tugging on the corner closest to his hands.

"You _still _want to stay here?" I asked him a little shocked by this.

"Yeah," Fai shrugged flipping the small piece of blanket he held. "I mean we already paid for it. It would be a waste of money to just up and leave now."

I put my hand on my face and let it slide down. Why did he have to be so strange? He blew his money on things like clothes, motel rooms and bus tickets, where did he get off being so damn frugal?

"Look," my hand fell to the side. "I will pay for a whole new room if we just leave now. Okay?"

Fai turned his blue eyes up to me. His mouth hung open for a second of speechlessness, something I thought that was impossible up until that point. But there he stood, his mouth moving in no particular pattern. Then he regained his usual eccentric composure and smiled at me brightly.

"No it's okay Kuro-chan," Fai confirmed patting my chest a few times. "We can stick it out here! We're made of tough stuff!"

I rolled my eyes and gripped his hand for a second. When I did this Fai stopped laughing and looked at me like he was expecting something. The way his eyes looked, I wasn't sure if what he expected was a good something or a bad something. I let go of his hand and he turned around hurriedly as if he was trying to hide his face from me.

"So," Fai began still not turning around to face me. "Let's go find something to do!"

He stuck one of his hands in his pocket and then nodded. Finally he faced me, a smile fixed on his lips. I frowned at him but said nothing to add to the tension in the room. Fai's smile faltered for a second before he walked passed me. I didn't move but when a hand came around and gripped my elbow I had no choice.

"Come on Kuro-chan!" Fai shouted pulling me outside and down the stairs. "Don't be such a kill joy!"

I remember grumbling but that was about it. Fai called a cab and told him where to take us. I just followed him. There was no use fighting him. And for some weird, unexplainable, incomprehensible, totally absurd reason, I didn't want to fight him.

Fai let out a sound, of excitement this time, "We're here!"

The cabby looked back at us as if we were insane. I just watched as Fai swung the door open and reached for his sock.

_What the hell?!_

He pulled out a twenty dollar bill. Belated by my own spaced out thoughts I hadn't realized that Fai probably had money on him at every possible place. Was it 0000because he felt more secure that way? Or was it because he _had_ to have money on him at all times?

But how the hell did he have that much money? His circumstances couldn't have been the same as mine, but I couldn't imagine some one the same age as me having that much money.

"Just keep going," I told Fai as I began pushing him out of the cab. He'd paid for the snacks back in Watertown; no way was I owing him more money.

Fai rolled his head back to stick his tongue out at me before he snuck the twenty into the cabby's hand. I muttered under my breath as he hopped out of the way. I followed him and was about to give him an earful when he stuck his head into the car and said something to the man at the wheel.

"Okay," Fai breathed out as he readjusted the hood on his coat to protect him from the winds that whipped at our faces. "He says it's that way," he pointed in front of his body and began walking in a very obscure direction.

I tugged my jacket closer to my body but refused to look as ridiculous as Fai did with his hood pulled up to barely protect him from the cold. He turned around and smiled at me as he waited for me to catch up to him. As soon as I reached Fai he took my wrist and started leading me to…nowhere.

"We're almost there," he assured me after a moment or more of walking. "I think…"

After he said that I stopped in my tracks. Fai stopped as well and stared at me as if I were the one who _might _lead us in the right direction. His face questioned my actions but his voice said nothing against it.

"You think…?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

Fai sighed and let go of my wrist. With a gentle smile he touched my face just enough for me to wonder if he really touched it at all, "Just trust me Kuro-mi."

I felt myself relax a little but I didn't move to continue our trek and neither did he. His fingertips hardly cradled my jaw but successfully made me forget about the wind.

"So let's go!" he ordered grabbing my wrist once again.

We walked a few more steps and came to a fence. A low, wooden, frost rimmed fence. My eyes followed a trail upwards, not remembering that I'd watched the ground the entire time we were walking.

"Corn…?" I inquired disbelieving that Fai would be so random as to take me to see…corn…

"Awww…" Fai sounded disappointed. "It's all dead."

"You dragged me out here to see…" I started glaring over at him. "…Corn?"

"We could have looked for the children of the corn…" he kept talking, not listening to me in the slightest. "But it's all brown and dead." Fai stuck his tongue out at the dead fields.

"Of course it's dead!" I yelled, getting angry at him. "_Nothing _is alive in winter!"

He clicked his tongue, "We could have played tag too…"

"You made me walk in the cold so that we could play tag in corn?!" I shouted but that did about as much good as yelling at a slab of concrete.

And just when I thought that he wasn't listening he turned his eyes to me and smiled, fakly, "Yeah. Don't you think that would be fun?"

"No," I told him flatly. Honestly…who else would have thought to play in corn?

"Ahh," he sighed out letting his face fall slightly before looking back up at me.

I surveyed his wind blown face, the reds and pinks that tinted his cheeks and the tip of his nose. Then I noticed how ridiculous Fai looked with his hood up. I hadn't seen the fur lining back in New York, and on the bus neither of us wore our heavy coats so I didn't have a chance to notice it then. Now I saw that the white faux fur just looked idiotic around his face. A little cute with his pale hair, but that wasn't me talking.

Slowly I pushed his hood backwards. That was better. Now his hair was blowing in the short gusts of wind. Fai's lips parted slightly as he gasped from the cold and just stared up at me. I felt his face lean into my fingertips, which still lingered next to his cheek.

Then it was almost as if he snapped out of a trance or something.

Abruptly Fai turned around and pulled his hood up, "We, uh um, need to get back to the taxi Kuro-pon."

I felt like I probably should have been less frustrated than what I was when we started walking back to the small dirt clearing where the cab was sitting, waiting for us. The ride back to the hotel Fai was being as energetic and bouncy as ever, but seemed jitterier than before.

* * *

"It's fully charged!" Fai exclaimed while posing with his green zune.

I raised an eyebrow, "And?" Why would anyone get so excited over that?

His pose relaxed some, "I thought you liked listening to music."

I looked up at him from the pad of paper I had been reading. Fai's smile seemed a little eager, as if his very existence rested on whether or not I liked listening to music.

"Yeah, I do," I replied, his face visibly lifting in spirit. "But why would that matter to you?"

Fai shook his head and threw his zune onto the bed. I probably should have known that he was about to do something, he was always trying to find new ways to piss me off. I just went back to reading the pad of paper,

_Kurogane,_

_I know you're not going to like the fact that I am about to make you leave but you need to understand how big the world really is. You mean the world to me, you really do, that's why I had to send-_

"Kuro-pin!" Fai exclaimed as he tackled me from behind, making my face smash into the letter I was just reading.

I mumbled into the paper, "What did you say?" he asked not letting me get up.

"Do you live to torture me?" I mumbled again.

Fai pressed himself harder against my back to put his ear near my mouth so he could hear me better, "What?"

"Do. You. Live. To. Torture me?" I repeated slowing it down for the blond man.

"Why yes. Yes I do," Fai answered laughing at his response before letting me up. "Why do you ask?"

I shook my head, "Just had to know."

"What were you reading?" he asked sitting cross-legged, very close to me.

"None of your business," I told him as I closed the notebook and threw it to join my bag on the floor.

"Right-o," Fai said wiggling a bit on the bed to get a hold of the blankets under his body. "We need to get some sleep so that we'll be wide awake when we choose where we're going to tomorrow!"

"Whatever," I grunted as I maneuvered myself under the blankets after him; despite the way my skin crawled at the thought of what _exactly _could have been done on those sheets.

"Night Kuro-chu," Fai happily sighed out before rolling onto his stomach to go to sleep.

I on the other hand, stayed awake until it was nearly time to wake up. Fai had so far dragged me to weird out-of-the way towns, forced me to listen to his horrible singing, had me yelling out how to spell my name, took me to look at dead corn and all together made me wonder about the fate of humanity if he was a member of the human race.

Yet, he was the only person, ever, to make me forget about Tomoyo for days at a time…

_End of Abandon Others_

* * *

**A/N: **The song at the begining is _Geek In the Pink by: Jasom Mraz _OMG GREAT SONG! If you've listening to or heard any of the songs I've put in here...I think you've noticed by now that I've got a strange mix of music in my library...no rap though...well...the Fresh Prince...and Sir-Mix-Alot...but do they really count? I mean they're AWESOME! XD Sorry that I couldn't keep up my end of Promise...No kiss. -collective sigh- SORRY! But I will tell you that I can see it in my head! The last line was just TOO good for me to pass up as an ending...I'm sure you understond -is hopeful- lol. Plus this is like the longest chapter so far! Which means that I will probably turn out long chapters more often...once I get passed the 3-thou word barrier for a chapter then it gets easier lol.

**Preview of next chapter: **_'I got closer to him and noticed just how much his hands were shaking. "So...uh um, where do you, uh, wanna go n-next?" I found myself surprised that he stuttered, normally he was extreamly articulate, especially for some one his age...'_


	5. Shore

**A/N: **Yup Yup this week's been a stressor, one to put in the books, all that jazz. I was over at a friend of the family's house this whole weekend, and though I'm teaching her kids the joys of Yaoi...I could not continue the chapter till I was home. I hope that it was worth the wait though, I have to say that I am quite satisfied with this chapter...especially the ending -fangirls- lol. Oh I'll get around to replying to everyone's reviews ASAP, just you know how it is when life hits you in the head with a sledgehammer right?

**Summary: **So, they've been through some weird states, but at least they have their dignity...? At least that's what Kuro's hoping...

**Warnings: **Should I even bother anymore? Shonen-Ai (as a majority of my fics will go...) and swearing (as my life goes...lol I have a very vulgar mouth...I need to learn how to curb that...)

* * *

**Chapter 5**

I felt a cool breath of air against my nose so I did what any other normal person, who was mostly asleep, would do and rubbed my nose. A short, stifled giggle, then another breath of air blown onto my face.

"Come on Kuro-min, I know you're awake!" Fai exclaimed as he assaulted my ribs with sharp pokes.

I rolled over to avoid him. I couldn't have gone to sleep more than an hour ago; there was no way in hell I was waking up. Fai just huffed out an impatient breath and scooted closer to me. His fingers ghosted over my side and then he started poking the back of my neck lightly. A short lived shiver rolled over my back before I squashed it with my pride.

"We gotta get going if we're going to get anywhere," he pointed out leaning in to whisper in my ear. "I wanna go somewhere new…"

My eyes opened slowly and unwillingly. His voice was low, barely audible in fact. For some reason this, more than any of the millions of other annoying things he'd been doing, made me wake up.

"Good!" He squealed pushing his body away from mine. "Now that you're up we can get a move on it!"

Fai bounced up and stretched out his arms and legs, a usual ritual for him whenever he woke up and/or when he got off of buses. I opted for just sitting there and watching him do his routine. It startled me when he started doing jumping jacks. Almost as soon as he started he stopped in a fit of laughter.

"I just wanted to see if you were watching me," he giggled between words and syllables. I wanted to hit him.

"Whatever," I grumbled looking the other direction as I sat up. "Just get ready."

He skipped off to the bathroom after smiling at me from across the room.

* * *

I looked around me, there was something amiss. Oh yeah, it was _still _dark outside!

"Why did you wake me up while it was still dark?" I asked shivering beneath my heavy jacket.

"Don't worry," Fai assured me by waving his hand around. "It's not_ that_ early in the morning."

After a second of walking in silence he added, "You forget, it's winter. It's always dark."

"How could I forget when you're always dragging me to the coldest places possible?!" I shouted as my feet met the pavement on the path to the bus station.

"Then how _did _you forget, Kuro-min?" he asked walking a little faster to avoid my foreseeable reaction: attacking him.

"Why you-" I reached out to grab the back of his coat but he slid passed my fingertips.

I resigned myself too quickly because of the sleepiness in my body and the cold around me. Fai came to a gradual stop and then turned around to look at me curiously. He didn't say a word as he stepped closer to me, one of his chilled hands wrapping around my wrist while the other laid dormant by his side. He eased himself onto the very tips of his toes and touched his forehead to mine and closed his eyes.

Fai's breath came out in slow, even, visual breaths. I realized how close he was to me and tried to jerk away, though it had never bothered me before.

"Just…stay here for a second," he requested as his face showed me what I'm sure he didn't mean to.

Unlike my usual response, I stayed there with my head against Fai's on the side of the road in the middle of winter. His breath hit my lips a few more times, pieces of my sanity falling away with each one, and then slowly his fingers unwound themselves from around my wrist and he stood on his level. I stared at him for a second. Then he smiled as if nothing happened.

"Why did you do that?" I wondered as he stood there smiling like a fool.

He shrugged, "I haven't done it in a while."

After saying this, Fai turned around and continued walking. I only managed a moment of stumbling awe before I began to walk as well.

* * *

Fai pulled out the map from his back pack and opened to the full spread of the U.S. Then he ripped it out.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" I asked startled by his sudden motions.

"It's easier this way Kuro-myuu," he pointed out as he turned the map this way and that way.

He folded up the map for a second and found a secluded bench off in the distance. First he sat and unfolded the map then he patted the empty space next to him without looking up at me. I sat, not really noticing that I was listening to his orders, something that usually had me flying off into some sort of pride rant.

Fai stared at the map intently, and for some strange reason his breath started coming out much faster than when we were walking here. I scooted closer to him and he stayed where he sat but his chest was struggling for air, but he tried to make it seem like he was just fine on the surface.

I got closer to him and noticed that his hands were shaking.

"So...uh um, where do you, uh, wanna go n-next?" I found myself surprised that he stuttered, normally he was extremely articulate, especially for some one his age.

I looked at his face; his blue eyes were looking in every direction, as if he was paranoid. Fai looked at me for half a second before ripping his eyes from me to survey the bus station at a rapid pace.

_Is he nervous? _I wondered watching the map tremble beneath his white knuckles.

Fai shoved the map into my chest and then started to rummage through his book bag. He looked a little frantic, and like he was trying to avoid me at all costs. Maybe I needed to distract him to get him mind off of whatever it was that was making him act like this?

"Where the hell…?" Fai muttered before his breath stopped for a second.

I felt myself begin to worry for Fai. After being so close to some one, physically, it's hard not to want to panic when he does. I put the map on my lap and trapped his face between both of my hands. I felt his breathing fall on my face in short spurt of air, but at least his eyes were on me. He looked genuinely scared and I did the only thing that I could to distract him.

I kissed him. Hard.

For a second his breath stilled and he pressed against my lips. But when I tired to turn my head slightly Fai pushed my chest to get me off of him.

"Nothing," shallow breath. "Against you," hard exhale.

I stared at him for a second as he went back to his book bag. Now he started throwing some of his clothes and papers and pens out onto the floor.

"Asthma," he concluded as he produced as small red inhaler. He exhaled a long breath and then stuck the inhaler in his mouth.

After taking the medicine into his lungs he slumped forward on the bench. A second passed where I wasn't sure about where we stood, you know, since I kissed him. But a reassuring smile said that he was alright.

Fai took my wrist into his hand and held the side of my face with the other, "When some one's having an asthma attack, you're not supposed to kiss them."

His voice was still shaky but his chest wasn't laboring as much as it was before. He laughed a little and put his forehead against mine for the second time that day. I saw him start to say something but then just lick his lips instead.

"Well how was I supposed to know?" I asked quirking my lip crookedly. "You never said anything about asthma."

"Sorry for thinking you'd be able to recognize an asthma attack," Fai teased, a smile still playing on his lips, leaning in closer to me. "Maybe I gave you too much credit, Kuro-min…" he sighed out and looked away from me for a second to demonstrate his inner 'turmoil'.

"Can't say that I've ever had to deal with it," I told him mirroring his movement to lean in.

"Well you've had to deal with me," Fai pointed out, his eyes half-lidded and focused on my lips. "An asthma attack should have been a walk in the park, not a weird first kiss."

I noticed that both of our voices were just decibels above a whisper. He tilted his head and nipped my bottom lip lightly. Fai then softly kissed it before running his tongue over the teased skin. I felt like growling at him in that moment. Why did he always have to be a tease? His hand creeped away from my cheek to rest lazily on my shoulder and mine took a firm hold of his thin waist.

When his lips finally met mine it was soft, and slow, not at all like I'd imagined. Not that I'd imagined it frequently or anything.

* * *

"_Every since I was eight or nine,_

_I've been standing on the shoreline. _

_All my life I've been waiting,_

_For something lasting…"_

"I don't really want to stay in a motel tonight Kuro-pin," Fai said as he chewed on his lip to help his non-existent concentration.

It had been nearly an hour after we kissed and we still couldn't decide on where we were going. So far the only stipulation was that it had to be a long ride, so we didn't have to stay in a motel.

"_I'm not the boy I used to be,_

_This town has got the youth of me…"_

"Well then how about we go to Michigan?" I asked making a trail on the map with my finger.

"No."

Fai outright refused me. That was new. Normally he'd give me some stupid reason. But right now he was just staring at the state as if it beat him up every time he visited it.

"I mean," Fai began, now he wasn't even good at pretending he hadn't said no. "It's probably really cold there right now. It's like right next to Canada, which is right next to the North Pole."

"Yeah and so was Watertown," I pointed out.

He let out a sigh and looked at me, "Just please, I don't want to go to Michigan."

"_You die when you're young…_

_You die when you are young…"_

"What is up with your music?" I asked trying to change the subject. That imploring look would surely get me into trouble. "One second it's all spazzy, and then it's depressing? I don't get it."

Fai's eyes brightened up again, "I just like everything."

A weird noise came out of Fai. This time I recognized it as his "idea" sound.

"We can go to Massachusetts!" he suggested pointing the very tip of his semi-trimmed nail to the state on the map. "I heard of this really cool place where you can see real people dressed like the guys from the colonial era!"

We're going to Massachusetts…for people in outdated clothing?" I inquired raising an eyebrow.

Fai nodded, "We've gone places for dumber reasons Kuro-pi. So why not?"

"Since I can't argue with that logic…" I sarcastically began to say before Fai was ripping the headphone out of my ear and dragging me by my wrist up to the ticket counter.

Now I may not have recognized an asthma attack but I'm not so stupid as to not realize that Michigan was one place that was off limits for Fai. The curiosity in me wondered why that was the case…?

* * *

"Okay," Fai sang out as he bounced in his seat. "This is our wonderful journey to Massachusetts!"

I looked over at him, drawing myself out of a daze. He had his phone pointed at me, "Say hi Kuro-woof!"

Then it dawned on me, "Hey! Are you filming?!" I swiped at him and missed.

"Absolutely not!" Fai lied as he kept his phone focused on my face.

"Then what are you doing," I asked annoyed by him already. "Taking at moving picture?"

"Nope," his smile widened and his hand shot out and grabbed the front of my shirt.

His lips kissed mine clumsily as the bus jerked into motion. I felt him smile against the mess of a kiss.

_Snap!_

"Just taking a picture," Fai stated before he saved the photo to his phone and put it on lock…so that I couldn't delete later he said.

As if I would.

_End of Shore_

* * *

**A/N: **The song this time was _Shoreline by: Daniel Broder _AKA my current obbsession in songs. I saw this AMAZING Toky Babylon video to that song...and now I'm hooked. -.-; what can I say? When it comes to music I get hooked easily, just a few weeks ago it was _What if? by: Emilie Autumn _so now you know that my addiction is music...but I don't have bad taste...as far as I'm concerned.

Kay so tell me how this went...when writing this I thought, "Well these two will NEVER be normal. In fact I'm sure that they couldn't poke normal with a ten foot pole..." So as far as first kisses are concerned there's was weird...but still memorable (What's more memerable than getting a big one just planted on you while you can't breathe? XD) I actually have asthma, and the way mine has been lately, it's like attacks out of nowhere even though it's always been allergy-induced asthma. I don't know how anyone else's works, so I just kinda stick to what I know...that's a good thing, correct?

**Preview of Next Chapter:** _"'Welcome,' she drawled out lazily as she readjusted the many crystal necklaces that dipped into her low-cut shirt. 'I think we have the wrong place...' Fai offered with an uncomfortable smile. 'No, you're in the right place,' the woman assured with an all-knowing smile and a flick of the long cigarette that hung in between her thin fingers. 'This is the work of fate...'"_


	6. Revalations

**A/N: **Yup. It's chapter six! So I don't know when I'm going to be able to post again because as it is I'm stretched pretty thin. I got school until about 12, go to work from 1-5 and then driving school from 6:30-8:30 on the weekdays. I'll try my best to get more chapters out but I can't promise anything untill I'm done with driving school because after that it will be a breeze to find time to write (so I say now...)!!

**Summary: **Now that they've taken a step beyond all the teasing and flirting, Fai and Kurogane are treading some strange waters...

**Wanrings: **Don't you just _love _shonen-ai?

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"So you're from Florida?" Fai asked just as I was about to go to sleep.

"How would you know that?" I mumbled not turning to face him from my comfortable sleeping position.

The bus hit a pothole and I jerked a little. I could hear Fai smiling behind my back as he hummed to himself for a second.

"Your driver's license," he replied impishly.

This time I did turn around to look at him, "How did you get that?"

"Silly Kuro-pon!" Fai exclaimed pushing me a little. "It was in your bag!"

I felt my jaw unhinge. He went through my bag. _He went through my bag! _

Fai sat and smiled at me as I tried to regain some form of composure. Yelling at him was no good considering he probably _wanted _me to yell at him. Masochist. So the only thing to do was to get even.

"Okay," I took a deep breath in. "Fork yours over."

Our eyes met. His bottomless blue looked startled, "Come again?"

I put my hand out in front of him, "You saw mine. I get to see yours."

Fai's smile faltered for a second, "Why would you want to see my ridiculous picture, huh?"

"I already said," I told him. "You got to see my license so I get to see yours."

"You're just all about fairness aren't you?" he inquired looking me up and down before reaching down between his feet to pull his bag up onto his lap.

"Yes," I answered curtly, now sitting up all the way in my seat.

I watched him rummage through his duffle bag. It was easy enough to see that he was trying to buy time. If there was something that I learned about Fai it was that he kept all of his information hidden in a place that only he knew about, meaning that it was in the same place that it had always been it and always would be in. All of his searching just to deter me from seeing his driver's license.

Why? I have no idea.

Fai slowly pulled his hand out of his bag, "Ah-ha! Here it is…"

Apprehensively he put it in front of me. I tried to pull it out from between his fingers but his grip tightened on the card. This time I pulled a little harder and relinquished Fai of his license.

Why in hell would some one be so scared to show their driver's license? That was just absurd.

I stared appreciatively at Fai's picture. His blue eyes were lit up from the flash of the camera and his smile was tilted more to the right in what I could have easily mistaken as happiness. But there was something darker in his eyes that looked a lot like pain. And although I would like to just sit there and stare at his picture (or him) I felt like I should at least pretend to look at the rest of it.

"Okay Kuro-pin," Fai urged pulling on the card. "That's enough."

I brushed his hand away and continued to look at his license. It all seemed accurate: _6'1, 145 lbs, birthday: February 4, 1990, Michigan Issued…_

'Michigan Issued'…? That meant that he was so opposed to Michigan because that's where he lives…? But that didn't make any sense.

"So, you're gonna be eighteen soon?" I asked trying to avoid talking about Michigan.

Fai drew his hand away from me, "Huh?"

"It says your birthday is February fourth," I pointed out placing it back in his hand.

Fai nodded, still looking confused by my observation. He curled his fingers over the laminated identity and stared at me.

"It's already January 17th," I finished leaning closer to him in hopes that closeness would help him understand.

His mouth formed an 'o', "Got it!" He winked at me to show his understanding.

Well, since I was there anyway, I kissed his bottom lip softly. He didn't seem to mind.

But I got the feeling that he liked kissing me just as much as I liked kissing him.

* * *

Fai yawned exaggeratedly and slumped over in his seat. We had to change buses half way through the trip and it was nearing two in the morning. Neither of us could sleep. I think that Fai's zune was partially to blame. It died on us a few hundred miles back and it would seem that Fai needed to hear music to get into that sleep-mode.

"Gosh this is taking forever," he complained poking my temple annoyingly.

"Stop that," I warned him not feeling much like being polite at such a God forsaken hour.

He stopped poking me but started to trace my jaw line with the tip of his nail. I allowed a shiver to pass through my body. I closed my eyes to try to keep from responding to him but he chose to press closer to me and kiss the line he made on my jaw. Each kiss felt like fire against my thoroughly air-conditioned skin.

"You sleeping Kuro-chuu?" he whispered leaning his forehead against my shoulder.

I slowly opened one eye, "No. Why?"

He shook his head against my shoulder, "No reason."

I tried to wind my arms around his shoulders but he jerked away as if my touch suddenly burned him. Fai smiled at me and looked at the hem of his shirt, which was twenty sizes too big for him. I placed one of my hands on his head and ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. Carefully I pressed kisses into his cheeks.

"I like it when you kiss me," he mumbled deliriously. "It's much better."

"Better than what?" I cradled his face in my hands and made him look at me. That didn't make any sense.

"Hmmm…?" Fai asked as if he had no clue of what I was talking about.

He elevated himself and gave me a kiss on the corner of my mouth, working his way up to my cheek bones. I felt his tongue dart out a few times, making me wonder why it was okay for him to be so intimate with me but I had to keep my hands tied.

* * *

It was about four in the evening before we arrived in Salem, Massachusetts. Fai got about as much sleep as I did. So our total time of sleep was probably…two hours. So we decided that we were going to find a place to sleep first, sleep and then go and check out the place we were in.

Fai wordlessly pointed to a motel. It was infinitely better than the one we stayed in while in Indiana. I nodded to myself and we dragged our tired selves over to the motel. As always, one room, one bed, a short walk outside and up a few stairs to get to our room.

Almost as soon as we got in the room, Fai fell over onto the bed. I threw my bag at the wall and joined him. Sleep sounded so good right about now.

"Wake me up when you get up," Fai muttered half into the pillow and half at me. "We should go look at some neat stuff today."

I grunted at him. It was just about the only sound I could make. Seemed good enough for him so I pulled the coves over us and dosed off.

* * *

"Kuro-tan," he said before shaking me. "Kuro-tan."

"Go away," I said waving my hand at him and rolling over.

"I'm hungry," Fai informed me. "Let's go get something to eat."

"No, I wanna sleep."

"You sound like a spoiled child," he pointed out poking my face and pulling my cheeks this way and that.

"So do you," I threw back chasing his hands away from my tired face.

"Kuro-sama's so sexy," he purred running a single finger over my collarbone.

"The hell…?" I asked him tiredly.

"He sure is," Fai's finger touched every curve exposed by my shirt. "I'd like to gobble him right up since I'm so hungry."

"You're being stupid Fai," I said despite my shivers.

Fai had an experienced way of touching me. Part of me wanted to believe that it was because he knew how to touch me but another part of me knew that it was from his experiences. Those were experiences that I did not want to know about.

"And you're looking edible."

I slowly sat up, eyeing up this strange kid all the while. I don't know how the hell he came up with this stuff.

"Fine we'll get something to eat," I conceded as I cracked my wrists to help wake my body up.

"Yay!" He exclaimed hoping out of bed to get dressed. "So what would Kuro-pin like me to wear on our first date?" he had this faux seductive look on his face. "Something revealing and sexy or something casual that says I'm not a total slut?"

"And what exactly do you have that would be 'revealing and sexy'?" I asked just the tiniest bit curious. Mostly females asked that question but then again it was Fai. There was no rhyme or reason, just Fai.

"Oh-ho," he laughed. "You wanna see don't you?"

"NO!" I defended myself a little bit too passionately.

"That's okay Kuro-rin," Fai assured me patting my head. "Most guys your age are dirty perverts."

"I am NOT a pervert!" I yelled smacking his hand away.

Fai pinched my face, "No seriously, it's okay."

I could tell he was making fun of me but I chose to ignore him. Instead I got up and started to get dressed. A pair of eyes watched me take my shirt off in silence.

"Woo!" Fai pretended to whistle. "Take it all off!!"

_It could be a little fun to mess with him. _I looked over my shoulder at him. He was all smiles as he sat cross legged on the bed. I shook my head and decided to just get dressed in the bathroom.

* * *

"Awwww Kuro-min…" Fai chimed as we walked away from the Wendy's we ate at. "You were all sorts of romantic. You held the door open for me, you paid for the meal, and you let me finish your frostie."

"Whatever," I grunted knowing that part of me did all of that because Fai had called it a 'date' back in the motel room.

We were about to cross the road when Fai jumped on me and held tightly to my midsection as a group of teenagers passed us. I heard them talking about this and that but words weren't possessing in my head. Fai squeezed me harder and I felt his smile whisper against my clothed chest.

"I really like the way you feel Kuro-chan," his voice was so small I thought that I might have imagined him saying that. "You're safe."

He looked up at me fondly, his smile slightly contagious. I stared down at the enigma that was Fai. He was hard as hell to figure out on an hourly basis but then these moments of honest vulnerability made me so at ease with the daily strangeness.

I cupped his face gently and kissed him, his knees buckling as he clung to my jacket.

We broke apart, Fai in a semi-dazed trance and flushed. I ran my thumb over one of his cheek bones and kissed the corner of his mouth. Fai's grip on my clothes lessened but he still seemed out of it from the kiss. My finger traced a line over his jaw, down his neck and then across his collar bone, dipping slightly below into the fabric of his shirt.

Fai grabbed my wrist in what looked to be an automatic response, "Aren't you supposed to wait till we're at the front door before you go kissing me on the first date?"

His eyes were a little panicked as he spoke. The blue looked at me imploringly, as if asking me to be careful, that I was entering territory that I had no business being in. No, no that wasn't it. It was obvious by his eyes and actions that my assumption wasn't correct. So what was it…?

Slightly damaged.

That was what he looked up at me like. Fai looked up at me as if he was trying to tell me that he was damaged.

Like I cared?

Couldn't say that I cared about who he used to be…

* * *

How in hell did we end up in there? Even after thinking about it for a second, there was no way that we could have gone in there of our own free will. We'd been going to see the people dressed in colonial attire (much to Fai's squealing delight) and we ended up walking into this…shop thing.

There were crystals and dream catchers hanging from the ceiling and the center of various ceiling fans. There were candles lining every shelf, books and incense all over the place. Fai touched one of the hanging crystals and it seemed to light up even more.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a woman dressed in black and purple appeared from out of nowhere. She had this annoying grin on her face, as if she knew exactly who we were and what we were doing there.

"Welcome," she drawled out lazily as she readjusted the many crystal necklaces that dipped into her low-cut shirt.

"I think we have the wrong place..." Fai offered with an uncomfortable smile.

I was about to agree with him but the woman wasn't looking at me. She was only staring at Fai, who almost shifted under her gaze. I grabbed Fai's wrist to lead him out of the store.

"No, you're in the right place," the woman assured with an all-knowing smile and a flick of the long cigarette that hung in between her thin fingers. "This is the work of fate..."

"My name is Yuuko," she stated with a cat-like stare.

"Fai," he replied nervously.

"This shop grants wishes," Yuuko informed him with a smooth step closer to him. "And your wish is written all over your face," she whispered that last bit and softly stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand.

"Hey lady," I stepped in rudely. There's no way I was just going to sit there and watch her touch Fai as much as she wanted.

"Don't worry," her voice was slightly dragged, but she kept a few centimeters between her hand and Fai's face. "It involves you."

I pulled Fai closer to me, his eyes widened visibly at Yuuko's statement. There was no way we were going to stay in that shop. She was too freaky, she was scaring Fai and she had no idea what 'personal space' meant. She was probably a fraud anyway!

"Fai!" she called out as we neared the door. Fai stayed facing forward. "Ashura's still looking for you."

Fai's face showed nothing but utter horror. I yanked him out of the shop, all the while wondering about 'Ashura'.

_Who the hell is Ashura?_

* * *

"_You can come out now Watanuki," the witch said walking back to a small couch in the back of the shop. _

_A black haired youth appeared from behind the counter, a little embarrassed that he'd been caught listening in on a client's conversation with Yuuko. He walked over to the woman and flattened his slightly winkled pants. _

"_Why were they here?" Watanuki asked referring to the two who just stepped out. "Aren't they the ones gathering up Sakura's memories?" _

"_Watanuki," Yuuko began as she flicked a few ashes to the floor. "They're the Fai and Kurogane of this world." _

_He nodded, understand just the smallest bit, but he wasn't about to ask for a full blown explanation. He didn't want to be confused too badly. _

_Watanuki thought for a moment, "If this shop works the same as the one in Japan, then how did Kurogane get into the shop?" _

_Yuuko rested her chin on the palm of her hand, "Fai's wish was for Kurogane to know without him having to tell him."_

"_I don't understand," Watanuki stated sighing a little in defeat. _

"_Well, we better get back to Japan before the portal closes up on us," Yuuko abruptly said standing up from the couch. "You need to make wonderful moon viewing sake snacks for me and Doumeki!" _

"_You bunch of drunks!" Watanuki screamed as Mokona bounced on his head and into Yuuko's arms. _

_End of Revelations_

* * *

**A/N: **Okay so that last bit with Yuuko I felt was needed in order to explain _why _they were there in the first place. To me it almost had a 'Holw's Moving Castle' sort of feel with the whole portal thing. lol! And I watched the OVA for TRC...OMG O.O that was SOOOOOOOOO cool!! Tell me what you think, because I'm really liking the direction that this story is headed in. Oh and the price for Yuuko saying something about Ashura was Fai's 'secrecy'. If that makes any sense.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_'I had no right to ask about 'Ashura'...if Fai wanted to tell me he would...Despite this coniction I couldn't help but want to know about Ashura after the reaction that just the name pulled from him...'_


	7. Passed

**A/N: **OMG I'm so sorry that this is so delayed!! I'm almost done with driver's ed. I only have like 2 more driving practices before I test...Wish me luck! You give RIn a car and you give her many many opportunities for trouble. -nod nod- So look out for me. I'll be the one up on the curb. lol. Yeah so I think that you guys will recognize some dialouge used in this chapter. According to my time line it IS out of order with TRC's timeline but it fit too well for me to ignore it! -faints- And the small one just made a good point! "Time flows differently in other universes!" lol. Good save!!

**Summary:** Who is Ashura...?

**Warnings: **Shonen-Ai (Or lack of...not so much...-tear tear-), Swearing (and fighting...verbal...not physical...want physical? Go check out the SasuNaru story /shameless pimping) and quiet!Fai...Awwwww

**

* * *

**

Chapter 7

I heard Fai roll over in his sleep. Never had Fai been as restless or so easily distracted as he had been that night. Usually Fai would just lay on his stomach, taunt me for a while and then go to sleep.

But there was something on his mind.

Perhaps…_Ashura…_?

I closed my eyes. Seeing Fai react like that to simply a name made my teeth grind together. I didn't want to recognize it as jealousy since I had absolutely no claim on him, save for the kisses we shared. I had no _right _to be jealous of a name.

But there was no other word for what I felt.

It was petty and it was wrong to feel jealousy for another person simply because of the changes in Fai's personality. It was downright stupid to feel the way I felt.

All the same, I felt it.

No matter what my head told me.

The fabric next to me gave a small whisper and Fai leaned over me. I think he was checking to see if I was asleep. Never had I been so grateful that I was trying to catch some sleep when he did this.

He kissed the corner of my mouth and spoke gently to me, "I like kissing you more…"

Fai's lips touched mine in a sweet kiss that I wasn't supposed to be aware of. Then he trailed his hand over my exposed arm before moving back over to his side of the bed.

Before I knew that Fai was always careful about the words he chose when others could hear them. But…there was more than that. He was careful even when no one else could hear him. His thoughts are for his head…

A drawn out sigh came from him as I heard his breath even out.

Maybe that meant we'd both get some sleep.

* * *

"Hey, hey," Fai called out to me as I pulled on a sock.

"What?" I asked gruffly turning to him, my morning hair obscuring the right side of his head.

"I've always wondered if it snows in Texas," he let his 'random' curiosity float around in the conversation. "And if it does, where do the cowboys sleep?"

I brushed my hair back with my hand, "You can't be serious…"

Fai turned to me and looked at me all wide-eyed, "Oh but I am my dear!"

"I have a feeling that this is leading up to something," I remarked shaking my head.

"As always Kuro-myuu is so perceptive!" Fai pushed me a little and then stood up. I couldn't tell if he was happy that I picked up on his idea or uneasy with the fact that I was perceptive.

I rolled my eyes and continued getting ready. If Fai wasn't going to say anything then there was no point in sitting around waiting when he wanted to go to…Texas.

* * *

Fai leaned over me to get his back pack from the other side of the bench, "Now don't try to look down my shirt Kuro-tan!"

"What am I going to look at down your shirt?" I asked him.

"My hard, rippling chest," he informed me with a 'seductive' look my way.

"Right," I rolled my eyes as he sat back in his original position with a notebook and pen in his hand.

Fai's eyes surveyed me momentarily before he smiled softly and positioned himself to where his head was in my lap.

"How do you plan on writing like that genius?" I asked him, wanting to touch his hair. I wasn't sure if the gesture would be too…tender…for where we currently were.

He shrugged, "I dunno. But I think I can manage." Fai thought for a second, "I have like two hours to try."

Oh yeah, we had two hours until our next bus because the snow decided that now would be a good time to randomly cover the city.

I began to look at the bus station. There were a few people who were huddled up and sleeping on benches, floors, suitcases. A few others were bums trying to escape the cold of winter and the staff obviously was too kind to kick them out. Then there were the restless children that played around and over the sleeping people.

It was calm enough to consider sleep. But just as my mind started to drift off into an awkward sleep I felt Fai run his pen up the inside of my thigh. My eyes snapped down to him and he handed me the notebook he was writing in.

His sloppy writing spelled out, _you're cute…_

I took his pen and wrote, _and you're impossible_, but mine was much neater than his.

He read it, his eyebrows furrowed as if he disapproved of the comment. Fai wrote something else and then handed it to me.

_Then why are you still with me? _

I knew he was trying to pass it off as him being smart and trying to get me to say that I liked him. But there was something so impossibly broken in the way his blue eyes stared up at me while he thought I was focusing on his notebook. Was he seriously feeling insecure?

I took the pen from him and muttered nonsense as I wrote, _Because I like you…_

I tossed it down onto Fai's stomach and looked away. I knew that my face was heating up from what I wrote. What the hell did Fai do to deserve this much openness with me?! It was stupid to think that a guy that I'd been traveling with for mere weeks would get that much out of me!

He poked my face with the notebook. I snatched it from him.

_Kiss me? _

Okay…that was a strange request considering Fai was the type to usually just take a kiss if he wanted one (not that it bothered me). Didn't he know by now he didn't have to ask? What an idiot.

I leaned down and pressed my lips softly into his as his hands slowly reached up to hold the back of my head. He kissed me gently, as if he was trying to test how far he could go before I cut him off, yeah right like _I'd _be the one to stop.

His tongue came out shyly and traced my bottom lip, making me press a harder kiss to his lips before opening my mouth to allow him entrance. I heard him sigh contently as I responded to his kisses, as uncharacteristically timid as they were.

Each kiss was nearly lazy and slow as his hands massaged my scalp while he pulled me closer into his kisses. I felt like Fai was trying to _convince _me to stay with him on his little trip.

Perhaps if I had been a sappier man I would have told him that I didn't need any convincing. That I would stay by him.

Instead I chose to allow him to sleep on my lap after he was done kissing me, while we waited for this storm to pass.

* * *

When we got on the first bus Fai's mood from inside the station had no yet untangled itself from his usual personality. He leaned his head against my shoulder and traced small circles on my arm. For now it seemed like the only thing I could do was to sit with him and wade this out.

Before the bus even started its engine he stuck one headphone from his zune into my ear and kept one for himself. Most of the songs were slow, but they faded into the background. I didn't like the way Fai was acting…

Though he would never know this, I liked his laugh. At times it was joking and annoying but when he was really laughing it was easier to catch than a cold. I liked it when he smiled for real. I grew accustomed to his presence and I was comfortable with him.

The bus ride was going to go completely through New York and stop in a bordering city in Pennsylvania. I didn't know if Fai wanted to stop there and rest or continue on with our journey. That didn't really matter though. We'd figure it out one way or another.

I took my arm away from his comforting motions and wrapped it around his shoulders. It was the first time I showed him something soothing outside of kissing him.

He muttered to himself a few times before nodding off to sleep as the bus hummed along.

* * *

We sat on a non-descript bench off to the side in Pennsylvania. Fai spoke to me like he was happy. But if asked anyone who spent as much time as I did with him, they'd all say that he was just pretending. I knew he was.

And it pissed me off.

After getting one word responses out of him on the bus ride to Pennsylvania I was done being sympathetic. If he wasn't going to talk I wasn't going to force him but he shouldn't have been forcing himself.

"Ah," He sighed out 'happily'. "Ne, Kuro-tan, should we rest here? My neck has cricks in it from sleeping on that bus!"

He scribbled something in his notebook and then pushed me in what would be a usually flirty manner. I barely registered this as he giggled in a strange way and continued to write something down.

"We should probably find a nice place," he thought out loud as he tapped his pen against his lips. "With a soft bed. You know, so that we can get a good rest."

I didn't reply to him. My head was a mess. I was tired from the bus ride (as usual), and I was exhausted from trying to figure out Fai. My mind was a soup of confusion and partial anger.

"Hey," he whined out. "If you don't reply to me I'm going to look like a crazy man."

I bit back a sarcastic remark when he positioned his face inches from mine.

"Stop it," I told him.

For a second Fai's mask faltered but then it was back in place with this iciness that wasn't there before, "What do you mean Kuro-chuu?"

"If you keep on smiling when you don't feel like it, I'm going to punch you in your face," I threatened even though it sounded about as lethal as a kindergartener's warning.

"But if I don't smile then Kuro-myuu is sad!" Fai exclaimed, that edge still on his voice.

"I don't give a flying fuck!" I swore as my patience packed its bags. "If you don't want to smile then don't. This has nothing to do with me."

"Now," Fai began. "If I were to listen to you, I would never smile."

"Whatever is in your past is in the past," I informed him with my arms crossed. "It has nothing to do with me but you need to get over it and move on with your life."

He looked at me as if I had smacked him. The expression was a mix of shock, awe and self-pity. For a second Fai gaped at me and I thought that he might have just started crying. It would have been a step at least.

Then an upbeat song came on in the headphones of his zune and he used that to cover up the hurt from what I said. Fai grabbed my hands and started to dance with them as if they were the best dancing partners in the world.

I shook his hands off of mine and walked away. This was ridiculous.

* * *

When I returned he was still in the same place, smiling like a fool. I had a paper bag with fast food in it for the two of us. If I hadn't walked away from Fai earlier I would have hit him. He really was too much for one person but I was hoping that I could be just enough for him.

I walked up to him and nudged his knee with mine, "I got us some lunch."

He looked startled but he smiled in a broken way, "Good, I was wondering when my Knight would come back."

Those blue eyes were red with the battle of tears. I could tell that he hadn't cried but he'd been close to it many times since I left him. Fai's smile was a little less bright and plastic-y but still in place.

"Oh!" he exclaimed as I sat down. "I have mapped out our journey to Texas!!"

Fai rummaged through some papers on the other side of himself. He pulled out his notebook and shoved it in his hands before snatching a burger from mine.

I heard him wrestle with the crinkling wrapper as I scanned the page. There were various swirls and scratches from a dying pen. Different inks splattered the page and little doodles here and there.

_New York _crossed out with a red pen and a small simple rose was draw to the left of it.

_Pennsylvania, _a star next to it? The hell did that mean?

"What're the stars for?" I asked pointing to Pennsylvania and Illinois.

"Those are the states that we are going to spend the night in," he explained over a mouthful of lunch.

_Ohio_

_Indiana_

_Illinois_

_Missouri_

_Oklahoma _

The rest of the list was pretty standard. Swirls and dents from pressing down too hard. But then around Texas there was a bunch of fireworks and talking fruits.

_Texas, YEEHAW! _

_End of Passed_

* * *

**A/N: **You know that section that ended with _'This was ridiculous...?_' Yeah I was gonna end with that originally...but then I thought that the chapter would be too short...so be lucky I'm picky. Otherwise I might have been killed brutally by you people! And the small one. So what did you think? The next few chapters are going to be about them on buses/in different states and the main point is going to be to get them to fall in love...without them actually _saying _that they love each other. How about it? You like the idea?

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_'Kiss me, out on the bearded barley. Nightly. Beside the green, green grass swing me...' Fai whispered unevenly as the bus jolted forward to a stop...'_


	8. Saranade me to the Moon

**A/N:** Dog ate my chapter...? No really the only good excuses I have for the tardiness of this chapter is that I took the SAT. Mentally I think I'm still recovering from the overexertion of my brain. MY FLIPPIN' GOSH! I think they just made that test up to test the literacy of the average high school senior (or junior!)!! I mean for fuck's sake! The directions were sooooooo damn long....-.-; I do believe I died in that classroom and that this chapter is sent to you loyal readers from beyond the grave. -nod nod- AND there were some students in my classroom who didn't know how to write in CURSIVE!!! OMG SRSLY?! ...Kay I'm done with that. On the plus side my older sis bought the first volume of Silver Diamond for me (Go Hana! I heart you!!!). Trust me it is an amazing series!!!

**Summary: **_In which the quality of mashed potatoes and Fai's need to run across busy streets play into Kurogane's continuing adventure..._

**Warnings: **Oh my lord...Sappiness (is that a word...I wonder...) seriously if you don't enjoy fluff of the super-romantic-makes-Romeo&Juliet-look-like-Horror kind then please kindly hit the back button because the last scene in this chapter is of that variety. Swearing (Who the hell didn't expect that?! I'm gonna fuckin' kill you!! XO) and of course as always, Shonen-ai (Can you fill it in here? I feel like going on vacation.)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 8

_Sniff…_

I looked up for a second and then turned back to reading the letter I always kept in my reach. Just when I had settled back into the lull of the bus throwing me slightly from side to side…

_Sniff…_

Just a bit more annoyed this time I threw my head Fai's direction. There was no one else around us to accuse so he seemed like a viable suspect.

_Sniff…Sniff, Sniff…_

"Okay," I breathed out. "What's wrong?"

He jerked his head up and looked up at me. There were a few soft trails of tears racing down his face, he was biting down on his index finger and had his headphones stuck firmly in his ears. He shook his head and extracted his finger from his mouth to speak.

"No, no," he assured me shakily. "It's this movie…"

I leaned over as he offered his zune to my view. There was a boy on the flat screen being hugged by his father as he shook miserably from crying. Was that…

"Are you watching _Bridge to Terabithia_?" I asked disbelieving.

"Why! I am surprised that you recognize it from just a few seconds of watching it!" Fai exclaimed taking one of his headphones out. "It must be Kuro-puu's _favorite _movie…EVER!"

I rolled my eyes and flicked his nose he giggled at this, "No, Tomoyo made me watch it over and over when it first came out."

Fai cocked his head to the side, "Who's Tomoyo?"

Oh right. I hadn't told him about Tomoyo yet. It just seemed natural that he would know everything about me.

"Tomoyo is my cousin," I told him as he started to wrap his headphones around his zune.

He nodded with a childish "Mmhm" to follow. I looked over at him. One of his hands turned in a circle, telling me to continue.

"She is the reason I am going all over the place," I felt her familiar presence warm me up. "I owe Tomoyo my life."

Fai drew his head back, "Why would you owe her your life?"

Was this really a story I wanted to tell him?

"My father died serving in Iraq," apparently so. "So I was bounced between relatives."

"What about your mom?" Fai wondered with a far off voice.

"She died giving birth to me," my mouth just wouldn't stop telling him about my life. "I moved from duty station to duty station with my father until he got orders to go to Iraq. While he was over there I stayed with a friend of his. But when he died by law I had to go to my closest living relative."

Fai nodded, his eyebrows drawn together in thought or concentration. Maybe both?

"When I was in high school I was mad at the world for taking my father away. At school I got into so many fights," wow. I never thought I'd be sitting here telling Fai, who I'd only known for a few months, about my past. "And I was sent to different high schools because of it. Most of my relatives, not wanting to deal with me, just sent me to whoever would take me."

For a second it looked as if Fai was going to say something. His mouth opened and closed once before he clamped his jaw shut and looked up at me with his big blue eyes.

"Eventually I ended up with Tomoyo. After the first time I got into a fight she told me that fighting and acting up wasn't going to bring my father back and that he wouldn't want his only son to be in such turmoil," I could still hear her words as clear as the day she told them to me.

"_Kurogane, your father loves you but he wouldn't want you to be in so much pain because of him. You have to let go of his death, he is in a better place…"_

I shook the words away from me, "Then she set up a bank account under her name for me that held most of my inheritance money and my father's life insurance and told me that I had to figure out what it meant to be strong," I let out a big breath of air. "She told me that I could either fly around the United States or I could take the bus."

Fai hit me with a bright smile, "Remind me to send her a fruit basket."

"Eh?" I so eloquently put it.

"If she hadn't had sent you on this trip I'm sure I'd still be traveling all alone!" he dramatically stated as he took a hold of my arm.

"Get off of me!" I commanded trying to push him down my arm. This proved useless, "Damn you…"

"Awwww…that's a horrible thing to say!" Fai buried his face in my side. "You'd be so lonely without me!"

"You mean serene, right?" I sarcastically shot back at him.

Fai nuzzled my ribs with his nose, "Yeah right. Your life is dull and colorless without me."

I moved away from his tickling nose. Against my skin I could feel his lips curve into a wide smile a second before he started kissing my side. It felt relaxing. When he stopped kissing me he popped back up and smiled even wider.

"So have you technically not graduated yet?" Fai asked fixing his disheveled hair.

I shook my head, "Tomoyo thought that this was more important. When I've figured it out she told me I could go back to Florida and get my GED. And college is not going to be a problem."

He nodded, "I haven't graduated either. Maybe we can get our GEDs together!"

Of course he was trying to laugh it off as a joke. That's what he always did.

"Why haven't you graduated yet?" I asked hoping that the good mood of our conversation would loosen his lips a little.

Fai's body went rigid although he tried not to show that. He thought for a second and then looked at me with a smile that put the sun to shame.

"I ran away from home," was his simple statement.

My brows furrowed together, "Why?"

He opened his eyes, a panicked look set into them. He took a shallow breath, "The mashed potatoes sucked."

I shook my head and looked away. It was obvious I wasn't going to get a real answer from him that day. But it wasn't something that I could let bother me since we'd finally gotten over that little fight from before.

And I was ready to just enjoy his company.

* * *

"Now that we're in Pennsylvania," Fai sighed out as we got off the bus. "Where should we stay?"

I knew that no matter what I said Fai would choose a place for us anyway, "Does it really matter? You're gonna make us stay in a run down motel anyway."

He gave me a look of mock disbelief, "I am appalled!" He smiled broadly, "Do you really think I'd make you stay in a place like that?"

I threw a 'do-I-need-to-answer-that' look at him. Of course we were going to stay at a place like that. Fai was the most frugal person I'd ever met. Yet he always had money with him, as if he had enough to spare. Who exactly was Fai?

"Okay, maybe I will," Fai admitted with a light bout of laughter. "But would you rather spend most of the money on nice, lavish hotel rooms or on fun things?"

"You mean like going to see corn?" I asked shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

Fai's eyes lit up, "Exactly!" He latched onto my arm and pulled me towards him. "I knew you liked that!"

I rolled my eyes, "You are the most insane person I've ever met."

He laughed a little louder this time, "Is that a bad thing?"

I shook my head and he got up on to the balls of his feet and kissed my cheek. The area around his kiss felt as if there were sparks flying from it. If Fai hadn't started pulling me in the direction of our destination I probably would have brought my hand to my face to make sure my cheek wasn't burned.

"Now let's find us a nice and raggedy motel to stay at!" he exclaimed leading me away from the bustle of the bus station by my wrist.

* * *

Fai threw himself onto the tacky comforter of our, once again, shared bed. I tossed my bag to a random corner in the room and sat down next to him. It was nearly nine o'clock and we hadn't gotten anything to eat.

"You ready to get something to eat?" I asked him, slightly worn out from the strange and long road Fai had us walk down to get here.

"Hmmm…" Fai contemplated as he sat up to look at me. "Yeah I think we should. I'm all out of energy…"

"For some reason I think that is impossible for you," I told him with a serious face.

"You think, Kuro-tan?" he asked me as he hoisted himself up onto his elbows.

"Come on," I urged him putting my hand out to help him stand up. "We finished off our snacks on the way here so we need to get something to eat."

"Ah, you raise a good point Kuro-min," Fai replied taking my hand and pulling on me to stand. "I shall concede to your request of a dinner date with me."

I paused for a moment, my brain short circuiting.

"You enjoy twisting my words around don't you?"

He nodded, throwing his hair into even more disarray than before, "Very much so."

* * *

It was the first and only time that Fai had stuck his zune in his ears when we weren't on a bus.

The motel Fai had chosen for us was modest, a little grimy but not shot up like Swiss cheese (believe me; I counted that for a point in the win column). There was the usual bustle of a major highway and thus there were many fast food places to eat if some one was brave enough to walk across the busy traffic.

Fai was more than brave enough. Trust me.

He zipped out in front of cars that _might _have crushed him if he wasn't as fast as he was when he crossed the road. Of course, like the idiot he was, he would wave to them as he sailed passed their cars. Always a firm smile in place.

Once his little need to feel death tapping on his shoulder was done and over with Fai looked at the wide street ahead of us and put his hands on his hips.

"Where should we eat?" he asked me. "Look! There's a gas station we could go to!"

Yeah, it was on the other side of the highway.

"No, I don't think so," I informed him. "We're not running across another road until we have to get back to the hotel."

"You're such a wet blanket, Kuro-myuu," Fai said turning his vision back to the side of the road we stood on.

"Sorry for not wanting to be killed today," I sarcastically apologized with a huff of much needed air.

"Don't worry, I forgive you," he turned his head back a quarter and smiled at me. "After all you are the one taking me out on a date!"

"It's not a date you idiot," well, it wasn't.

"Since you're the one taking me out I think it's only fair that you get to choose where we go," he mumbled to himself with a nearly thoughtful look on his face.

"Then we're going to Taco Bell," I gruffly informed him without even looking at what this side of the street had to offer us.

"Ah!" Fai exclaimed jovially. "Look! It's on this side of the road too!"

I looked up in utter shock. Damn that was too weird. I was just being sarcastic. God had to be laughing at me at that moment.

Fai made that sound he _always _made when he had a 'good' idea. I chose to ignore. Maybe if I didn't acknowledge that he had an idea it wouldn't affect me! (Yeah right…)

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his lime green zune. Promptly the headphones were stuffed into his ears to encase himself in his own little world.

On the outside I felt relief for the fact that perhaps this plan of his did not involve me in any way. The other side of me however felt slightly alienated by his choice to not include me in his musical world. But that was absurd. Why should I have even cared at all?

"_Kiss me," _Fai sang out low as he twisted his body to stand in front of me. _"Out on the bearded barley. Nightly. Beside the green, green grass, swing swing…" _

He was walking backwards and stumbling over the various shrapnel of decrepit asphalt as well as stumbling over the breaths it took to sing the song correctly.

"_Swing the spinning step," _He locked his eyes with mine_. "You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress."_

"_Oh, Kiss me. Beneath the milky twilight lead me," _Fai's magical eyes laughed as he sang this line. I felt like air was all of a sudden scarce._ "Out on the moonlit floor lift your open hand." _

"_Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling…"_

It was almost like he was having trouble breathing out this part of the song. If I had been more concerned with his breathing and less with the shiver that roved from the base of my skull down to the end of my tailbone…maybe I would have gotten scared and told him to take his inhaler.

"_So kiss me." _He nearly whispered this last part.

I gently obliged. Taking his wrist into my hand I pulled him into my chest and held him there for a second as he swayed with the music that thrummed dully through his headphones. When he finally looked up at me, I could see the sky behind us reflecting in his eyes. Fai steadied himself by pressing his hands into my chest.

I kissed him softly and waited for him to run out of breath. Personally I hoped that that would never happen.

_End of Saranade me to the Moon_

* * *

**A/N: **Song- _Kiss Me by: Sixpence None the Richer. _Yes yes. There had been some one to guess that in the last chapters' reviews but I can't remember -hits self in head- I'm sorry whoever you were!! I feel aweful for not looking it up bu right now I'm kinda running on empty, so please forgive me and I will include a song of your choice into the next chapter!! Oh yeah the mashed potatoes thing WILL come up again. It started out being something totally random from my smart-ass brain but then the more I thought about how to incorporate the better it seemed to me. So make sure you remember Fai's reason for running away.

I do hope that this chapter didn't seem too horribly rushed with their relationship but these two are making me move them fast (I think they just wanna get to the 'good' stuff -wink wink- -nudge nudge- lol!) Tell me what you think b/c I will always love to hear feedback even if I am currently replying to such feedback _at the speed of a special olympics hurdeler_ (Points to those who can tell me where that last bit is from!! *O*).

**Preview of Next chapter: **_"We didn't have to save the tacos you know?" Fai offered picking up the once-hard shelled tacos we hadn't eaten at the Taco Bell. "The lettace gets all gross and it tastes like it's rotten." I moved with the rough rocking of the bus and thought for a second. Taking the taco from Fai and opening the window he sat next to I tossed the disgusting left overs into the street that rolled below us..._


	9. Fai the Strange

**A/N: **So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Ms. **Luvira** for her amazing fanart for this story!!! Seriously it was that picture that made me finish this chapter! I thought that if there was some one out there who loved my fic enough to draw for it, then I should update it!!! ^.^ The end of this has been stewing in my head for a while now so I hope that you guys like it! Again thank you **Luvira **on deviantart! Your picture means a whole hell of a lot to me!!!

**Summary: **_Hey, we only attack the ones we love..._

**Warnings: **Herm...Swearing (pretty much Standard Operating Procedure by now eh?), Kissing (then hitting...:(...) and Fai being stranger than usual (It was bound to happen people!).

* * *

**Chapter 9**

"Where is the next stop?" I asked leanings towards Fai.

He was scribbling away in his notebook, unaware of the world around him. And strangely even unaware of me. He just continued writing/drawing/compiling-101-ways-to-piss-off-Kuro-tan (heart!) as if he was the only person in the world that existed.

"Why are you so ditzy?" Okay, now I was just seeing if he even heard me.

Nope. If it was a response to me at all, his tongue peeked out of his mouth to be held between his teeth in intense concentration. His eyes flitted to every inch of his eight and a half by eleven notebook paper.

"Are you an idiot?"

Fai raised his hand and brushed some hair away from his face. Then as if he hadn't stopped for a second he continued to burn up the paper with his pencil.

"Yes," I answered for him. "You are an idiot."

Not a second after I had replied in his place he let out a big breath of air and hugged his notebook.

"Are you ready for this Kuro-tan?" he asked me in a hushed voice.

"Ready for what?"

"This!" Fai turned the notebook around to show me a picture he had drawn.

Across the span of the paper there was a, rather detailed, picture of Fai patting me on the head (like a dog…) with a speech bubble off to the side that said 'You're such a good doggy!'. The expression on my face was accurate, at least he knew me well enough to know what I'd look like if he were to do that to me.

"May I ask why you drew this?" I wondered jabbing the picture with my finger.

"Yes," he answered simply as he turned the notebook back towards himself.

I paused for a second to hear the rest of his response. He just flipped through the paper as if he was finished with this conversation.

"And…" I trailed off.

"Well you didn't ask me why I drew it," he pointed out. "You asked me if you _could_ ask me why I drew it."

I wanted to smack myself.

"Okay," I breathed out my frustration. "_Why _did you draw that?"

"Much better!" he chimed turning back to me. "This is why."

Fai leaned over me and patted my head, "You're such a good doggy!"

I looked up at him seething, almost feeling a growl in the back of my throat.

"AH!" he exclaimed. "I knew you'd make that face!"

He laughed at me for a moment before straightening up, "I wanted to see if you would make the face I predicted you'd make!" He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an arrogant sigh, "I must be psychic or something!"

I snorted, "Psycho is more like it."

"Naw," he swatted the air with his hand, apparently ignoring what I had muttered about his mental state. "I don't believe in that stuff. It's just a bunch of crap to make you spend your money!"

* * *

Fai stretched and yawned as he woke up from his nap. He leaned his forehead against my shoulder and nuzzled his nose against my arm. I sat still, because with Fai this was normal and there was no point in trying to get him to stop.

"Do we have…" another big yawn. "Anything to eat?"

I shrugged him off of my shoulder to look in my bag. There were a few leftover tacos from last night, some gas station snacks and a couple of unfinished sodas. I handed him one of the hard shelled tacos.

Fai was evaluating the taco. He turned it around in his hand, squeezed it, peeked in at it and stuck his tongue out at it.

"You know," he sighed. "We didn't have to save the tacos."

"I paid for them, we're going to finish them," I replied gruffly. Wasting money was not something I did.

"But the shell, which was once hard, is so soft and mushy now," he told me. "And the lettuce is all stringy and brown and it tastes like it's gone bad. Not to mention the meat is all cold and greasy now."

I don't think he was trying to convince me to do what I did next. I think he was just trying to tell me about why some things shouldn't be saved like that, since he was just as big on saving money as I was.

For a moment I thought about what he said. Then I took the taco from his hand, opened the window a little and tossed it to the street that rolled below us. Fai gaped at me for a second of speechlessness.

"I- uh," he stuttered so articulately. "Um- uh- we-….huh?"

Apparently this had shocked him as much as it had shocked me.

"Are you going to just sit there and stutter at me?" I asked him.

"M-maybe," he replied sarcastically.

I laughed at him as he tangled our fingers together. Sometimes it was a good thing to shake Fai up like that. He needed to be reminded that I did listen to him every once in a while.

* * *

"_I don't care about his confidences; I don't wanna feel that slow…" _

"Where do you find these songs?" I asked tugging the headphone from my ear.

Fai busied himself for a second and then looked at me confusedly, "Did you say something Kuro-rin?"

"_When you wanna stop, just go…" _

"Where do you find these songs?" I repeated myself as I pulled his headphone out as well.

He looked at the fallen headphone like a cat would look at someone who just flicked its nose. Without saying anything he stuck it back in his ear and then placed mine back into the crook of my ear.

"I honestly have no idea," Fai finally answered with a shrug. "Sometimes I think that they just materialize on my hard drive."

"_When the things we done come clear to you…"_

For a second I saw the gears in his head turning. Slowly he faced me with a look that questioned and teased me all at once.

"_I wanna go mad, I wanna go mad, for a minute I just wanna be in it…" _

"Why?" he questioned in a tone that said he already knew the answer.

I turned half away from him and shrugged, "No reason. Just wondering."

"Yeah right!" Fai shouted hitting my shoulder. "You like these songs!!"

"Now why would you think that?" I challenged him knowing that my face was heating up.

"You mean besides the adorable blush?" he returned as he reached up and ghosted his hand across my cheek.

I smacked his hand away. In response I got a giggle and his head weighing on my shoulder.

"I promise I won't tell anyone that you like girly music, Kuro-chuu."

On top of ridiculing me he used such a girly name to address me. I rubbed my temple and waited for a headache to form behind my eyes. This guy really was too much for one person. I don't know what made me choose to stay with him but in one way or another Fai always made sure that I didn't regret it.

* * *

Finally, a rest stop!

"Where are we?" I inquired scanning the area for a clue as to where we were.

"Hmmm," Fai hummed with one finger pressed to his lips. "Give me a kiss and I'll tell you."

"Huh?" Was it just me or was Fai getting stranger and stranger.

"Kiss me," he demanded like a spoiled child. "And I'll tell you."

He smiled at me and rocked back and forth on his heels. I watched him. Fai continued to smile, though for a second my eyes played tricks on me. His smile fell for a second and then reformed on his soft lips.

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands on his shoulders. Though there wasn't much of a height difference between the two of us I had to stoop down to reach his mouth. I watched as his eyes hovered just above completely closed, his lips parted with small breaths falling over my own lips.

My hand reached up to tangle his hair around fingers. Fai leaned in closer to me and though it felt like we had _finally _kissed, we'd only been staring at each other for a few seconds.

Fai gripped the front of my shirt as if his life depended on it. I pushed his body closer to mine…and nearly got attacked because of it.

He tried to space us out but I didn't move. He tried to twist out of my arms but again I just held onto him tighter. Then he started hitting my chest. Hard

I broke the kiss and was about to ask him which crazy house he'd escaped from when he started talking.

"We-we're in Illinois," he told me shakily.

"Fai," I said reaching towards him.

"We should, um," Fai muttered turning around to face me. "Do our laundry."

"Do our laundry?"

* * *

So we…did our laundry.

Before we even found a nice roach motel to stay at we found a cheap Laundromat to…do our laundry. It was by far the strangest request Fai had ever asked of me. I had a feeling that from Illinois and on it could only get stranger.

I fed the washing machine a few dirty quarters and waited for Fai to separate his laundry from the many other things in his backpack. Once he finished untangling one of his long sleeved shirts from the wire spiral of one of his notebooks he carried an armload of mixed laundry to me.

"Aren't you going to separate it by color?" I asked him as I swung slightly on the grimy door to the machine.

"Huh?" he asked looking inside the washing machine. Of course since most of my clothing was black or denim my sorting was already done. "Can't I just put it all in there and then wash it with cold water?"

I sighed, Tomoyo had taught me to do laundry the proper way but I had a feeling that this was going to lead into 'but it saves money'.

"Fine," I huffed adjusting the knobs to cold/super load.

Fai shoved all of his clothes, whites, light blues, jeans and gloves alike into the washing machine while I went to go buy some of that discount, grainy laundry detergent. Once he was done, I saw Fai hop up onto the hanging ledge where we had parked all of the things that weren't going to be washed. His legs dangled and kicked in the air as he waited for me to return.

Though I wasn't upset with Fai…I still kinda wondered about why he had been so rejecting towards me.

I rubbed my head and poured the soap into a little slot and started up the washer. Fai leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. Walking over to him I decided not to bring it up. It was better to just let Fai come to me anyway, as many other encounters had proven this to be true.

"Um…" he began nervously. "I'm sorry….for attacking you. Earlier."

I glanced over my shoulder at him, "S'okay."

"No, no," Fai corrected in an awkward tone. "I probably should have told you a long time ago that you can't do things like that."

"Like what?" I asked turning around fully to face him.

"Like…all aggressive like you were," he explained strangely. "Sometimes I'm okay with it, but I don't know when I'm going to freak out. So it's probably best that you don't…do things like that again."

His eyes were distant, as if he wasn't looking at me but focusing on memories that I dredged up.

"Why do you freak out?" I had been wondering about his freak outs and odd behavior since it began…The opportunity to ask just was never brought about.

"Ummm…." He sat up fully and scratched behind his head as his eyes darted around to various points on the floor. "Pass?"

I shook my head and laughed at him. Once he saw that I wasn't mad at him he started to laugh quietly as well. I had told Fai my past of my own volition (sort of) if he wanted to I'd be willing to listen.

Fai leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips. When we broke apart he smiled at me deviously and tickled my neck with his uneven fingernails.

"You really make me wonder about the general mental health of kids our age," I told him before he leaned over and kissed me again.

_End of Fai the Strange_

* * *

**A/N: **A special thanks to **TomoyoNyx**!! Who correctly identified the song in the last last preview! I put in the song_ Go Mad by: Caleb Kane _in here for her! It's strange because I swear just a couple of days before you reviewed I found that song on a SasuNaru FST that I had downloaded a while back! It was the strangest thing ever! Thank you deary for all of your reviews and I hope that this chapter didn't let you down!! I heart you!!

Okay so this chapter was strange even by my standards but at the moment I think it's kinda just a let-things-happen sort of thing so eh -shrugs shoulders-. I hope you guys liked it anyway! Oh yeah and the title is an allusion to one of my FAVORITE clothing lines. If you can guess it I'll make one of them say one line, any line, you want them to! Of course it can't be "I love you"...gotta save that for a rainy day! So go ahead and guess!

**Preview: **_"Fox and the Hound,' Fai said resolved. 'What?' I asked wondering what had brought this about. 'It's my favorite movie,' he explained looking at me with the remote hanging from his hand. 'I was just thinking about it and that is for sure my favorite movie...' _


	10. Surpisingly Unexpected

**A/N: **You guys can thank **Me or the Wallpaper **for this because she gave me such cute fanart! It was what kicked me in the ass. Actually this was a pretty fast update...lol. So I guess there was no need to say that last part! Lol ^.^ Oh yes and this chapter features** viviset**'s quote from the last chapter's contest. Which means it is now CLOSED. Maybe we'll have another soonly? I dunno. Whenever the mood strikes! Lol.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Well...one day late. My sisters apparently needed me in the kitchen...to squish squash! -le heart- Hope you guys are stuffed and happy and ready for Kurofai lovins!!

**Summary: **_Wherein language isn't nearly as confusing as it ought to be..._

**Wanings: **Swearing (Who the fuck doesn't expect that by now?!)...Shonen-ai (please look at the previous warning)...Actually that's about it...O.o lol.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10**

"Actually…" Fai began thoughtfully. "I like it better this way!"

I examined him. Were there any medications he had to take daily?

"What?" he asked looking up at me.

"Nothing," I replied shaking my head. "Just wondering if you were dropped on your head when you were born."

Fai let go of his shirt and folded his arms over his chest, "You should already know the answer to that."

I raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

He playfully smacked my arm, "It does look better like this though."

I sighed, how did this guy function?

"I told you that you should have separated your laundry," I reprimanded him because well, he was standing in front of me in what looked to be a cheaply made tie-dye blue shirt. "I'm just happy that my stuff couldn't get stained."

"You know you're jealous of my shirt Kuro-tan," Fai informed me of my state of mind. "And that's okay."

"Yeah. Right," I rolled my eyes. "You see right through me Fai."

"I know!" he exclaimed as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and began to walk out of the Laundromat.

Yes, he had changed his shirt. In the Laundromat. With every person in there staring as he did so.

Almost as soon as he had seen that one of his light blue button up shirts had been stained by my black shirts he striped himself of his slightly baggy band shirt and put that shirt on instead. If I hadn't died of mortification in that moment Fai was sure to get me another time. That much I was positive of.

"Why do you like that shirt so much Fai?" I wondered as he damn near skipped around in it. "It's ruined now."

"No it's not," Fai corrected me looking utterly offended by what I said. "It's more…unique now."

The way his eyes darted around told me that he was lying. Fai had that horrible habit of giving himself away like that. Eyes darting around, nervous laughter, fake smiles, the works to put it plainly.

"Okay, now how about you tell me the truth?" I asked of him.

"Silly Kuro-bun! I am telling you the truth!" He clasped his hands together and danced slightly on the sidewalk we were going down to get to a motel.

"Yeah and I'm the Pope," I bit back sarcastically.

"I may not be catholic, but I do respect you!" Fai chirped as he played with the edges of his shirt.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay…" I flipped his collar with my index finger. "Now tell me the real reason."

Fai chased my hand away and turned around so that I couldn't see his face. He let out a sigh that was visible even from where I stood. Had I pushed him too far?

"I'm stained," he finally said after a gust of wind blew his hair into an oddly pretty mess. "By you…" Fai whispered probably in hopes that I wouldn't hear him.

I exhaled and walked up to him. My hand reached up and smacked him softly on top of his head.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" I asked him sarcastically.

No, not patronizingly. Sarcastically. As if I could ever criticize some one for the way the felt.

Fai turned to look at me. His eyes were pools of confusion and he was drowning in it. His mouth moved up and down like a fish out of water. Then he scowled.

"What?" I questioned taking my hand off of his head.

He shook his head and thought for a moment. When he looked up at me it was as if he was angry at me.

"What's your problem Fai?"

"Nothing…" it sure as hell didn't look like that. "Just not used to that."

I opened my mouth to say something but as it usually goes Fai beat me to it.

"You're so strange," he pointed out looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "Aren't you going to make fun of me?"

My hand drew back…Make fun of him? Was that what he had to live with?

"Why would I do that?"

Fai busied himself with his hand. He picked at his nails and chewed at the cuticles.

"Just…" he answered around his finger. "Sort of…commonplace."

I jerked his face up to meet mine. He looked so unbelievably ridiculous with his index finger hanging out of his mouth. And the way his eyes widened…

"Look," I sighed again. "I'm not like that Fai. I'm not whoever it was that made fun of you. I'm some one completely different so don't mix me in with them."

He pulled his hand away from his face and stared up at me in awe. I kissed him softly before moving my hand to carefully cup Fai's face. His eyes eased closed as we kissed gently on the sidewalk in midday.

* * *

We found a motel, checked in and watched cable television for a majority of the day.

Mostly Fai flipped through the channels carelessly as he sat in between my legs. I just sort of went with the flow and played with his hair. Fai usually ended up staying on the Disney channel. 'But this show is cute!' was his defense when I grumbled about it. I never told him to change the station however.

It was when we were watching a show about kids that lived in a nice hotel, not a motel like we did, that I learned something about Fai. It was another something that he volunteered to me…Not something I had to pry out of him.

"The Fox and the Hound," he murmured playing with his bottom lip.

Two animals rolled across the screen as voices said their lines.

"What?" I asked dropping his hair for a second in puzzlement.

"Oh," as if he just realized that I heard him he displayed surprise. "I was just thinking about it, and I know that The Fox and the Hound is my favorite movie."

He nodded and confirmed it again, "For sure it is my favorite movie."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Fai looked a little shocked as he cocked his head to look at me, "I'm not."

"I was talking to myself and you were listening," he observed with an air of 'duh' about him.

"Right," he was probably telling the truth.

For one reason or another Fai had taken to talking to himself more and more.

"Well, I think that we should watch it when it comes on Kuro-tan," Fai suggested patting my knee with little enthusiasm.

"When does it come on?" I wondered hoping that it was within the next few hours.

He chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully, "Next week?"

I looked at him incredulously, "And how do you plan on seeing that next week?"

He bent his neck backwards to look at me, his face upside down in my eyes, "I'm sure the hotel in where ever we are will have the Disney channel. Illinois is not Disney's entire demographic."

Sometimes the way he spoke made me feel like an idiot.

I cleared my throat instead of actually acknowledging that comment, "So you really like that movie?"

He nodded with an airy expression on his face, "Mmhm…"

For a moment he stared at nothing but I began shifting, "Come on, we should go and get something to eat."

Fai struggled to get up; no doubt his muscles were too relaxed from us just sitting around watching T.V. for hours.

"So is it my turn to choose a place to eat?" he asked smiling widely with his eyes closed.

"No," I informed him flatly. "You'd have us running across highways again if I gave you the choice!"

"But Kuro-sama…" Fai began in a childish tone. "We're probably gonna have to run across highways anyway."

This guy was very likely the cause of a myriad of mental illnesses. If I had been any other person I would probably already have been hospitalized with psychosis…

* * *

"There's this song that reminds me of you Kuro-rin," Fai told me after he swallowed a large bite of his burger.

"Oh yeah?" I wasn't really too terribly interested in what it was. He was probably joking around anyway. "What is it?"

"Hmm…" he hummed tapping the straw of his drink against his lips. "I have no clue who sings it."

"You're so well informed Fai," I ate a couple of french fries while he thought.

For a second he laughed then he made that sound, "How about I sing a part of it for you?!"

Why did he have to look so damn excited?

"Fine," I sighed.

Fai set his drink down and cleaned his hands of the salt and sesame seeds. Was it really worth all of that?

He took in a deep breath and wore a stern expression.

"_I've been searching for a man, all across Japan, just to find, to find my Samurai!" _

Fai applauded himself and then took a shallow bow, "Do you know that song?"

"Unfortunately yes," I told him as I rubbed my head to get rid of the twitching. "Tomoyo loved playing it on DDR…"

Again, he clapped, "Me too!"

But there was something that kinda of…bugged me.

"How did you know I was Japanese?" I asked genuinely curious about this little bit.

"You mean besides the obvious?" he threw back at me with a quick gesture to my hair and face. "You have a tendency to not say l's or put r's in their place. And you talk in Japanese in your sleep."

"I do not…" I defended a little more bitterly than what was required. Then I thought for a moment. "How do you know it's Japanese and not Chinese or something?"

"I had to learn Japanese Kuro-rin," Fai said so freely. "Of course I'd know."

I looked at him. Well…that was a surprise.

"Is it your…first language?" I wondered obviously skeptical because of his appearance.

"Of course not!" Fai exclaimed shoving a few fries into his mouth. "English was."

I played with my straw, stirring around the melting ice in my paper cup, "Do you speak any other languages?"

"Only one other," he told me after chewing a bite of his food. "Russian."

"Why do you know these languages?"

Fai drew back, "Aren't we full of questions tonight?" He took another drink from his soda. "My foster father had me learn them since most of his trading firms are in Japan and Russia. Since I was his 'son' I had to be at all the major events, meet and greets, openings of new branches, stuff like that."

I nodded and sat back in my chair. I hadn't even realized that I was so intensely focused on what Fai said.

The fact that he was the 'son' of a man who ran trading companies meant that he was by no means living in poverty….Which would explain where he got all of his money from.

* * *

The next morning I knew that Fai would wake up in a small state of panic. But if he read the note I left for him on the T.V. then he shouldn't worry for too long.

Then again…this was _Fai. _He'd probably think that I was forced to write that letter and then kidnapped by some murderous villain. Or he'd just read it and not worry. I hoped against hope that it was the latter…

Once I got back however, he'd for sure be happy with me.

I hoped.

* * *

"Oi," I called to Fai, who was luckily still asleep. "Wake up."

He mumbled at me to go away and then rolled over.

I thought about pressing it further and for reasons beyond Fai's problem with persistence, I decided not to. Instead I chose to walk over to the T.V. and put a DVD into the dusty DVD player provided by the motel. I skipped through all the previews on the disk and finally ended up on the menu. Without waiting for the cutesy little opening that most DVD menus liked to have I pressed play and the movie started.

The opening credits began playing and I saw Fai shoot up at the sound.

"Wass thees?" he slurred sleepily.

"I think it's called The Fox and the Hound…"

Fai smiled at me genuinely…and despite his messy, tangled hair and half-opened eyes…he was absolutely breathtaking.

"You bought it…?" Fai asked rubbing his eyes and stretching his muscles.

I nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. I felt Fai crawl towards me, the weight pushing the bed down.

"I bought it for you," I told him as I watched him hug his knees to his chest.

His head spin so that he could stare at me with his mouth wide open, "Wha-?"

"Yeah," I answered finding that I loved seeing this unguarded, surprised expression on his face.

Just as I started to turn around I felt Fai's arms wrap around my neck as if he meant to choke me. He pulled me back and hugged me into his flat chest. There were so many kisses placed on the side of my face, in my hair, on my eyes and on any patch of my face he could reach.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!" he screamed in my ear.

Although I was sure that my right ear drum was ruptured I couldn't really bring myself to care if it meant I got this kind of a reaction from Fai.

_End of Surprisingly Unexpected_

* * *

**A/N: **This is the only chapter that I've spent the entire time in one state since they began their journey to Texas...interesting...Lol. I hope you guys liked it! I really liked that they were watching the Disney channel together for some reason...I dunno why it just made them feel like...a real couple? If that makes ANY sense at all. Thank you everyone for all of your supposrt I've been feeling it a whole hell of a lot lately with all of these amazing and sweet reviews I've been getting. -hugs everyone-! I hope that you'll stay with me the entire way through this! Even though we're about to get into some...not so fluffy scenes. :( Sad but it must be done.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"Fai flipped through his notebook, his hair fanning out because of it. I looked over at him as the bus rocked with the roughness of the road. He peered at me out of the corner of his eye, 'Do you wanna look through it?'..."_


	11. Well Noted

**A/N: **Now I'm pretty sure that you guys can bow down and thank **Me or the Wallpaper** she has been the reason for this update AND she has convinced me to make it public knowledge that FANART motivates me to update this story! If you are interested in sending me fanart, say in a review that you'd like to and I'll give you my e-mail so that you can send it my way! =) Oh yes and the details on my vacation are going to be in the end notes, kay? It's kinda funny...lol.

**Summary: **If you were given the chance to look inside his mind...would you take it?

**Warnings: **Swearing (da fuck?!), Angst-esque moments (mostly with the notebook scene you guys were pumped for...) Shonen-ai (But would you ever love me without it?) and VERY strange themes...(like seriously I don't know where it came from...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 11

It was becoming a lot easier to talk to Fai. I felt like that glass wall that separated us in the beginning was starting to shatter now. If this was true then that meant that I would get to see more of Fai. I'd get to know him the way I wanted to. And admittedly it was selfish of me to want to know him so well…but I really didn't care.

His head rested against my arm as we waited for our bus to arrive. The steady in-out breathing hit my arm and calmed into an almost dream-like state. I nearly shut my eyes to join him in sleep, since our bus wouldn't be there for another hour, when he woke with a start. A start that made his skull hit my jaw.

"Ow…." I muttered cradling my jaw while Fai scanned the place like a madman on a mission.

After a second or two the pain subsided, "What's wrong Fai?"

He ignored me and kept looking over the bus station as if he were searching for cops that had him on the run. I sat silently for a moment, waiting for this trance to pass. It was all I could do. When Fai acted like this reasoning was as useful as a bar of soap.

I peered at him out of the corner of my eye but offered no words. In a second or so he straightened his posture, somewhat satisfied with his evaluation of the bus station.

"Good," he sighed out running his hand through his hair. "No terrorists!"

My eyebrow rose slightly to show my thoughts on this, "Terrorists?"

Fai nodded.

"You were looking for terrorists?" I asked putting my hands on my thighs.

"You bet!" Fai confirmed closing his eyes in amusement. "With the Twin Towers and all, we can never be too careful!"

For a moment I thought, "Terrorists can mean any number of people, Fai."

"Nope," he shook his head and answered not a breath after I said that. "I'm talking about the stereotypical ones. No need to get deep here Kuro-chuu!"

I stopped to think again. He was getting a bit more obvious in evading any question that had to do with things like…terrorists, or Michigan. Was it just getting harder for him to hide or was I just picking up on these things more? Maybe it was a little bit of both?

When I opened my mouth to ask him about his personal terrorists he was already talking to me.

"Kuro-myuu," Fai tussled his hair with one of his hands and looked at me through half-lidded eyes. "Do you think I'm…_sexy?_"

My reasoning shouted many different things at me but my mouth froze in shock. I think it was hanging wide open, for the way Fai was laughing that was very likely.

Fai wiped the side of his eye, "Don't worry you don't have to answer that."

Yup. With obvious distractions like this I was positive that it was getting harder for him to hide his past from me.

* * *

"_Doesn't hurt me…you wanna feel how It feels. You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me…"_

This song actually grabbed me from the first few notes. That sort of caught me off guard.

"_You wanna hear about the deal I'm makin'. You. You and me…" _

The lyrics were put together in a weird way, but in a way that made me actually concentrate on the song. And though I'd listen to anything Fai put on his zune…this one…it just…

"_And if I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places…"_

I looked over at Fai. He was mouthing the words with the most somber look I'd seen him wear since the beginning of our trip. Did he find this song as mesmerizing as I did?

That would make sense. After all it was on his zune.

"Do you like this song Kuro-min?" Fai asked quietly.

I nodded, unsure of what I would say if I spoke. Fai smiled at me airily, his white-blonde hair shining in the dirty reflection of the sun's rays. I reached out and twisted one distinct lock of his around my index finger. His smile broadened as he leaned in to lay his head on my chest.

"_Tell me we both matter…don't we?"_

My hand ran itself through Fai's hair as he situated himself closer to me to get comfortable. In a strangely depressing way the melancholy seriousness of the song was something I could relate to Fai.

Eventually Fai fell asleep on my chest, his even breathing relaxing my entire being into a restful sleep.

* * *

"Ya know, Kuro-sama," Fai began thoughtfully. "I do enjoy kissing you."

I looked over at him. If that wasn't the most random thing ever, I wasn't sure what was. Then again…this _was _Fai I was talking about. I found that that particular phrase let this blond-haired boy get away with a lot…Perhaps I should've thought about revising that phrase so he could get in trouble with me more often…

"And where did this come from," I asked checking his zune for the time. Again, we had to make a stop to switch buses.

"Just thinking about who I've kissed before," he answered wistfully with just the slightest bit of pain shadowing his comment. "And I think that I like kissing you the best."

For a moment I thought about this. Just those few sentences actually said a lot about Fai. Was he losing his touch at being ambiguous?

"How many people have you kissed?" I wondered aloud. Maybe I felt a little jealous?

He looked startled by this, "That's a hard question to answer, Kuro-myuu…"

I watched him, somewhat anticipating the answer. Not that he would ever know this…

"By force only two," Fai answered staring at his shoes, which were mostly covered by his fraying jeans. "By choice, one, including you."

This made me upset. Who would force some one to kiss them, despite the other's feelings?

"Who _made _you kiss them?" I asked knowing that Fai would probably lock up on me again. But if I didn't push things like this, how would I ever find out about Fai? He sure as hell wouldn't tell me.

"One was this guy at school," Fai offered freely with a little laughter in his voice. "He told me that he liked me and then grabbed me to kiss me. I don't think he counted on me punching him in the jaw afterwards."

I found myself laughing just a little at this story. So I wasn't the only one that Fai had freaked out on. But what surprised me was that he hadn't been willingly kissed more than that. Perhaps I'd be the last to say it where human/dog/anything's ears could hear me, but he _was _an attractive guy. He straddled the line between femininity and masculinity effortlessly and seemed like a person that could get anyone they wanted…Whether it be boy or girl.

"And the other?" I added after his memory-ridden laughter died off. I was really pushing it now.

"Is none of your business," he told me curtly with the brightest smile he could muster. "And I mean that in the nicest way possible."

Sighing, I leaned back and rested my head on the rim of an enormous potted plant that sat in the center of the circular bench we both occupied. He leaned his head against it as well.

"Maybe one day you'll find out about it," Fai distantly promised. "But I don't think you'll hear it from me…"

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Fai looked like he was completely torn between telling me and keeping this ominous past a mystery.

"Hey," I grumbled sitting back in a normal position.

He hummed at me while directing his eyes to watch me from his potted-plant-pillow.

I placed one of my hands on his jaw and guided his face to meet mine. If he liked kissing me, I had no problem feeding this joy.

Fai was more than happy to kiss me in return this time.

* * *

Apparently three hours in the same bus station was enough to drive a crazy man, like Fai, even crazier. In the first hour he'd serenaded me with the Blue's Clues theme song (how he even knew that was something I wasn't willing to understand), made a captain's hat for himself out of a tissue from the front desk, and he'd manage to claim our potted plant bench as 'ours' by scaring away anyone who came near it.

Damn he gave me a migraine.

"Hey, hey!" he called out to me from the edge of the plant, where he sat. "We should go and buy more snacks!"

"Why didn't you think of this an hour ago?" I asked resting my forehead on my palm. "You know, after you chased away that little kid and his mother by popping out of the plant…"

"They were asking for it!" Fai exclaimed tickling my face with one of the fronds of the broad leafed plant. "And you know you laughed when I did that!"

"Yes, I did laugh," I agreed looking up at Fai, who was looking way too pleased with himself for it to be healthy. "At your insanity!"

"But you _did _laugh," he repeated running his hand through my hair in an almost relaxing way. "So now we should go and refill out snack supply, my sources say we're low."

"Your sources?" I asked. "Oh really? Are your sources your bag?"

Fai's face lit up, "He's your source too?!"

I slammed my face into my palm, this guy was unbelievable!

But I found myself unable to object when he bent down to whisper in my ear and kiss the side of my face. If there was one thing he was good at, besides annoying he hell out of me, it was at making me want to give into his whims in spite of myself.

"Fine," I heaved out a heavy breath. "We'll go get fucking snacks."

Behind me Fai cheered and danced to me when I began to walk away from him.

"Thank you, Kuro-sama," Fai purred out with a kiss to my cheek.

* * *

Since we were armed with a full arsenal of snack goods, sodas, water and new magazines it only seemed fitting that we should be on the bus. And we were. We sat in the back two seats, our bags secured below our seats while we waited for the last person to board the bus. Fai told me that this was the last bus on our way to Texas…yeehaw…

Fai had been flipping through his notebook the moment he sat down. I'm not sure what he was looking for but the way the pages fanned his hair out made him look almost like he was at rest in his mind.

He must have sensed that I was looking at him because he turned to return my stare. I attempted to avert my eyes. I almost felt like I was wrong for staring at him like that.

"Kuro-chin," he cooed.

I grunted, knowing that my verbal answer might have been slightly embarrassing.

"Do you want to look through it?"

"Uh…" The truth was that I wanted to look through his notebook. _Badly. _But I always thought that that would be too…much of an invasion of his privacy.

Yet here he was, offering his thoughts to me.

"Sure," I replied when it looked as if the relaxed features of his face were going to fall off.

He hesitantly placed the notebook in my hands. Instantly I felt as if I was holding a lead brick. The weight of his words, thoughts, worries and trivial things seemed to make themselves known to me.

Carefully I opened up to the first page. It looked as if this notebook was used for school before it became a travel log. There were notes on _King Lear _and _To Kill a Mockingbird. _Around the notes were small doodles. Mostly flowers, fires, and trees.

But in the bottom right-hand corner there was that name again.

_Ashura..._

With a single 'x' through it, as if he was merely throwing a tantrum and that was his silent retaliation against 'Ashura'.

When I turned the page I was greeted with a two-page spread of the Japanese alphabet, common Japanese idioms and greetings. To say his penmanship was girly, would be an understatement, but it was…perfect. As if he'd spent hours learning how to write each character as it was shown in whatever he copied it from.

"You know how to read and write Japanese too?" I asked a little baffled by this realization.

"Yeah," Fai replied tracing the indents in the paper. "I am better with Japanese, as opposed to Russian."

I turned the page to find a poem written in Japanese. It was by Fai. As I started to read it Fai threw his hand over the page, leaving only the words 'tear', 'hands' and 'bondage' visible through the windows his fingers provided.

"I assume you can read Japanese too?" he asked with a little laugh.

"Of course I can," I replied a little prickled by the fact that he had thought otherwise prior to. "You're the one who picked up on the Japanese accent. How did you think that I didn't know how to read and write Japanese?"

"Dunno," Fai shrugged turning the page for me. "Just seemed kinda farfetched for me to think that for some reason."

I shrugged his comments off and continued reading the totally random view Fai had on the world.

At the bottom of the page, again, read that name. The rest of the lines seemed goofy enough, but then…it was there. Again.

_Ashura…_

When I turned to the middle of the book, my eyes checking the pages as they flipped by me (all strange, silly or random in their own way), there was nothing but black. The way the paper was ridden with dents from making the page that way with a pen made me think that this was all done out of anger.

I put my finger tip to it and swirled it around. There were a few words I could make out from simply touching it.

_Hate._

_Love._

_Lust._

And in the middle of the page…

_Ashura…_

_End of Well Noted_

* * *

**A/N: **So...I really liked this chapter too. I mean I really like having Kuro-min hear about Fai. It seems only fair that he should. Right? This chapter featured **TomoyoNyx**'s quote! Congrats my darling! I seriously enjoyed using it. That sexy messed up hair, those shockingly blue eyes, who could resist? No one. lol. The song I used in this chapter was..._Running Up That Hill by: Placebo (I love you! Placebo! T.T) _and if you search for 'Running Up That Hill SuzakuxLelouche' you'll find this AMAZING video for them! I haven't watched Code Geass yet, well not all of it, but it's like really cool. And the small one likes it so no doubt I like it.

Oh yes! About my vacation. Just like summer, I am going to Florida! Gonna spend Christmas with my mommeh and granma and granpa (and hopefully my Uncle, Aunt and Cousins). But what's funny about it is how I'm getting there. I think you guys can appriciate it the most...My sister and I are...RIDING A BUS! XD I like freaked out on my mom and I was literally jumping on my bed. She was scared but then I explained and blah blah blah. Charmkeeper's already heard this story but I thought you guys might like it. And I don't know if I'll be able to update while I'm there, so you guys MIGHT have to wait until New Year's for another chapter. SORRY!!

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"...'Are we going to be in Texas today or tomorrow?' I asked reading over the pages of his notebook while he twiddled his thumbs, or something of that nature. 'Hmm...' Fai hummed poking my hair. 'Tomorrow, I think...' Yup sleeping on the bus...Yay..."_


	12. Impossible

**A/N: **HAPPY NEW YEAR! And I hope everyone had a great holiday! I don't if all of you celebrate Christmas, so just thought I'd say 'holiday' to be safe. Yeah...this chapter was...unexpected. In a good way. But I wasn't expecting so much to happen in one chapter. Oh you'll see what I mean.

**Summary: **Wherein lies the problem...Kurogane has no idea of what he should say!

**Warnings: **Swearing (Yes you read right. There IS swearing in a RIn!Fic...), Shonen-ai (Oh yes...I went there.) and confused men (well boys really but you understand...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 12

I swallowed hard. It seemed almost criminal to read Fai's notebook.

It had been minutes since I had flipped the black page and it seemed to fall into that same false lull of idiocy and randomness. But it still felt so…_wrong_ to read the notebook. I wanted to know Fai that much was for sure. But I wanted _him _to be the one to tell me what he thought, felt and dreamed. I didn't want to read it from a notebook he spoke to.

I shut the flimsy cover of the notebook and placed it on his lap. Fai's eyes were instantly on me, accusing me of some odd misdemeanor. I let one eyebrow answer him.

"Did you already finish?" he asked flipping through his own work at a faster pace.

"No," I replied flatly.

"Then…" Fai trailed off and offered the notebook to me again.

"I don't want to read what you think," I informed him. He looked just a little hurt by this remark. "I want to hear what you think."

Fai gaped at me for a moment. Then he boarded his thought train with a look that was less 'fish-out-of-water' and more 'Fai'. He put the notebook on his lap and smoothed it out the same way a girl would flatten her skirt (living with Tomoyo taught me this much at least).

"You understand what I was doing, right?" Fai inquired staring at me in a nearly challenging way. "I'm offering you the chance to read what no one else has. _You _are getting a firsthand look at what I think when left alone…"

He glanced at the notebook in his lap and then back up at me, "And you're turning it down?"

Perhaps I was an idiot for doing that. But it was just…wrong to take advantage of the situation like that. I let out a rush of air and looked at him as strongly as he looked at me.

"Yes," I simply stated.

"Why?" he sounded bewildered.

Normally my response would have been a shrug followed by some string of words that told him not to worry about it.

"I told you," I said looking him right in the eye. "I want to hear what you think, from you."

Fai's eyes widened and then narrowed suspiciously. After a second of silent appraisal, Fai tangled his fingers in my hair and tugged at the back of my head forcefully. The way he kissed me was enough to make me question whether or not it _was_ Fai kissing me. The intensity was mind blowing.

Completely unlike Fai, who liked to give me long, soft kisses.

This kiss…wow.

…Just wow.

When he pulled his fingers out of my hair he was back to his smiling self. I on the other hand was grappling with my senses.

"Thank you Kurogane…" Fai whispered in a happily broken tone.

First he kisses me like it's his last day on Earth and then he calls me by my full name…Was I dreaming?

For a moment I just opened my mouth wordlessly. Than I was able to speak after Fai placed his hand over mine.

"For what?"

"For being so amazing…" he complimented in an airy voice.

I could feel that only half of my mouth was smiling, "I try."

* * *

"We've already bypassed Huston, San Antonio and Austin," I pointed out as Fai tugged at the atlas (yes, the very same one that he only wanted to buy _one _page out of). "Where in the hell do you plan on taking us to?!"

"Oh Kuro-tan," Fai hit me playfully. "You act as if those are the _only _places to go to in Texas."

"Okay, idiot," I conceded. "They aren't the only places to go, but they are big cities. Why are we not going to a big place like Austin?"

"Because there is a plague there, my friend," Fai began.

"What? Expensive vending machines?" I offered not expecting his answer.

He pulled his hand to his chest, "Yes…actually. That's what I was going to say…"

"What?"

Fai nodded to himself with a worried look on his face, "Yeah…that's…really weird Kuro-puu…"

The boy twisted his abused hoodie around in his hands and glanced at me every now and again nervously. I put my hand on his knee with no hesitation. He moved as if he were about to push my hand away but then drew his thoughts, and his hands, into his chest and smiled at me brightly.

"And you act as if we only visit big cities!" Fai pointed out framing my face with his hands to make me turn to him.

"Yeah you're right," I agreed in a strange voice that was of course caused by Fai's new form of amusement. Playing with my face. "We've only been to places small enough to be called towns."

"Exactly," Fai sweetly spoke as he continued to pull and squish my face with small bouts of laughter here and there.

He really was going to be the death of me, I decided as I chased his hands away from my face. If I was letting him play with my face there was no telling what else Fai could make me agree to.

Especially if he kept kissing me like he was at that moment. A kiss of smiles and short laughter between our lips.

* * *

Yup. Fai was insane.

But if you knew anything about him, or even heard his name uttered in passing, you'd already know that.

He dragged me out _here_?! The middle of nowhere?!

"Do you know where we are?" Fai asked shielding his eyes from the high mid-afternoon sun.

I gave him a displeased look and then surveyed my surroundings. There were loose rocks, dust, questionable liquor stores, and people that appeared to have picked their way out of a couple of different straight jackets. Then there was a clue to where I was!

A blue and white van sat on the far side of the not-so-wide parking lot. In bold letters it read _Killeen Taxi Co. _

"Killeen?" I answered with a surprised look in response.

Fai let his surprise pass, "Yeah! I thought that we'd go somewhere in the middle so we would know what real Texas is like!"

"Has anyone ever told you that you that you're seriously crazy?" I wondered as Fai slung his bag over his shoulder to walk over to the white and blue taxi.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," he joked with a light-hearted look in his eyes.

"No, I'm pretty sure I would," I retorted knowing full well that I was probably the only person who'd actually seen this totally insane side of him.

* * *

I was laying face down on the motel bed waiting for Fai to get back. Hell if I knew what he was doing, but it just couldn't wait apparently. And I was dead tired, so sleep was looking far more attractive than whatever Fai's quest brought him.

Just as I was drifting into what could be considered a peaceful rest, Fai came bursting through the door in his loud, white-blonde glory.

"According to my sources-"

"The man at the front counter?" I cut in lifting my head away from sleep.

"Damn you're good!" Fai complimented with a little 'hyuu~!' to accompany it. "But yes, the man at the front desk. He told me that there hasn't been snow _in the winter_ for like five years!"

I rolled over to get a better look at his insanity, "In the winter? What does that mean?"

Fai waved his hand at me as he made his way to the bed, "He told me that it snowed on Easter about a year ago. And he also said that there is a roller skating rink not too far from here!"

And he looked so damn proud that he had gathered this intelligence.

"Fai," I sighed out. He perked up and stared at me excitedly. "What do those two things have to do with each other?"

"Absolutely nothing!" he admitted with an enthusiastic flop onto the bed below. "But I thought that it'd be fun to roller skate with you Kuro-chuu!"

I mumbled to myself. I was no wizard at roller skating so I wasn't nearly as pumped as he was. For a minute he chatted nonsensically about roller skating and how cute I would look as I fell to the ground. I chose to ignore this, as it was better for my health that way.

"So, do you wanna go?" Fai finally asked as he fiddled with a small section of my hair.

"Yeah…" I agreed to it. But only because…

"Your birthday's in two days after all."

Fai's hand ceased its movements. In fact, it seemed as though he ceased all functions outside of 'breathe in…breathe out…'

"You…remembered?" he sounded almost shocked.

"…Umm…of course?" I know that I said this like it was the most obvious thing in the world and to me, it was. But for him…to react like that…it couldn't have been.

"But, but," he struggled for words. "You've only been informed of my birthday _once_. How could you have remembered it?"

"I just did," I replied barely touching the top of his hand with my fingertips.

"That's impossible," he muttered disbelieving.

"No it's not," I told him despite him probably not hearing me. "It was important to me to know your birthday."

"I mean…not even...wait, what did you say?" Fai finally heard me. Damn fate must have really despised me.

"You heard me," even if he hadn't that was my best defense.

"But why?" he implored leaning closer to me. "Why should I matter to you at all?"

"Because…" I began not really sure of how I was going to finish that sentence.

"Because…" I repeated wondering what I wanted to say.

Fai stared at me, wide eyed and nearly vulnerable.

"Because…" damn this was frustrating. Now I was just desperate for something to finish the sentence with. "Because you just do what's why!"

And that's what I chose to say…Pretty stupid right?

The boy leaned in closer to me and kissed my neck. Normally I would yell at him for this, but my mind was else where, frustrated beyond the realm of daily Fai antics.

What had I meant to say?

_End of Impossible_

* * *

**A/N: **I should warn you now that the next chapter is the climax of this story. I was taught that the climax of a plot is the turning point, that if that did NOT happen then the rest of the story would not have happened. So yes, the next chapter is the climax...and I've got BIG BIG PLANS for it! I hope that it'll be longer than the rest.

And if you guys are curious about the bus trip I recently returned from...OMG! It was really stressful on my way to Florida, not so much on my way home, but...Gah! I can't tell you how many times I wanted to punch the lights out of some random drunk guy in the bus station. And I'm the type who writes through stressful situations/mental anxiety/bordem so you will for sure know of my stress in the bus station. Look out for it. Lol. I have to say that the ONLY state where they did 'random' drug searches was Louisiana...seriously. No joke. Do you see me laughing? No? But they did. That was pretty lame but, what can you do? lol.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"'Do you see that boy over there?' the man behind the snack stand asked me with a strange, friendly, slightly scary smile. 'Yeah...' He closed his eyes to match his smile, 'I plan on marrying him someday.' The soda that I been in my mouth was now flying through the air. The man looked startled but said nothing as I fought with the napkin dispenser. After taking in a deep breath I finally spoke, 'Well unless they change marriage laws around here, you'll be waiting quite a while.' Now his smile softened and his face took on a new light, 'I know...'"_

...Wow...long preview much?


	13. Dry Ice

**A/N: **I'm like amazingly excited to be posting this chapter! It's 7 pages in word! W00t! W00t! It's been a pretty good time since I got home. I mean my sisters and I have been renting a million movies with our Dad, my 2nd mother got home last night (she's not blood but she is just like a mother to me and my sissies), last night I also got my boyfriend's father's approval of our relationship (and he said he liked talking to me! ^.^) AND AND I got the new chapter out!!! Tis a good week for me!

**Summary: **Hopefully all goes well...

**Warnings: **Shonen-Ai (Shii R Krayzee! But seriously...not JUST between Kuro and Fai this time...), Swearing (would you believe me if I told you it was for a good reason...? Ah, didn't think so...) and guest appearances! (Now if I told you it would ruin the surprize!!)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 13

"_The best way to make a relationship work is to give gifts when they are not expected," Tomoyo informed me with a little girly giggle to follow. _

"_Any why would I need to know this?" I questioned knowing that she'd come up with some weird completely made up reason off the top of her head. _

"_Because one day you will fall in love Kurogane," she said calmly. "And I don't want you to be sulking for the rest of your life if you end up losing that person for a petty reason." _

"_Okaaaay…" of course I was skeptical. As if love was the first thing on my mind after losing my father only 7 months before. "Whatever you say…"_

"_You'll thank me one day," the petite woman forewarned me. _

"_I'll make sure to put a bullet in my head before that happens."_

_She laughed lightly and pushed me, "Just wait and see." _

* * *

Fai rolled over and mewled in his sleep. I just sat there, waiting for him to get up. For once he actually looked unguarded and like perhaps he had very real emotions. I mean, I knew that he _had _emotions but he just…hid them too well. He giggled and then stretched his arms out in the bed.

When he was met with the absence of my body and touched every inch of the bed that was in his reach. Then Fai hoisted himself up with his tired limbs and looked around the room confusedly. Once his eyes landed on me he gave me a sleepy smile and a wave.

"Get dressed," I ordered him as I stood up from the chair I was on.

"Why should I do that Kuro-min?" he spoke with various inflections in his voice.

"Because I said so," I growled out.

"Hyuu~! You sound just like a mommy!" Fai pointed out as he stretched his arms and back out.

"Just get dressed."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Fai asked me for the millionth time in our short trip.

Yes we were walking. Yes he was annoying. But at least it wasn't cold.

"None ya," I replied running out of comebacks.

"None ya?" I could practically see him tilt his head in that cu- no no, that annoying way. Not cute. At all.

"Yeah," I kicked a rock down the side of the shoulder we were walking on. "None ya damn business!"

Fai let out a huff of frustrated air, "You're so mean!"

Of course he was just being his usual, strange self.

"I hope you don't think that when we get to where we're going," I said as he caught up to me and squeezed my hand with his.

"Ooooh you're so mysterious Kuro-rin!" he exclaimed jumping in the air.

I stopped in my tracks and stared at him, "You can be such a spazz sometimes, Fai."

He gave me an even bigger smile and then stood on the balls of his feet to kiss me. I couldn't help but smile into his kiss. But that was quickly becoming an automatic response anyway.

* * *

To say that Fai freaked out when we reached the skating rink would be an understatement. No, not just an understatement. It would be the understatement of our generation!

First he screamed then he bounced up and down and grabbed me by the arm and showered me with quick little kisses to show me just how happy he was.

But that was before we walked in. We were at the counter to get skates and the people behind the counter were sort of bickering. The girl was doing most of the talking; the boy (her twin I guess) was just listening with a slight blush on his face.

"You have to speak up, Subaru!" the girl shouted from some place among the infinite shelves of roller skates and roller blades. "How do you expect to _ever _confess your love for Sei-chan if he can't even hear you?"

Subaru, who had been apologizing to us for the twins' arguing in front of us, turned around, "Ho-Hokuto!!" I could see the blush race to his ears and the back of his neck.

"But it's true, Subaru," Hokuto informed him as she put Fai's roller blades on the shelf.

Fai raised his hand before she left and she smiled at him, an invitation to continue we both guessed.

"Who is Sei-chan?" he asked with one of those fake smiles in place.

Hokuto clapped her hands together and pointed over to a mini food court with a man in glasses serving food to a mother and her small child. The girl leaned in to tell Fai something.

"It's obvious that they were meant for each other," she began in a well-duh tone. "But Subaru is taking his sweet time getting together with him." She sighed before her attitude took a nosedive into bipolar territory, "But one day Sei-chan will be able to express his love for Subaru with all of the intensity in his heart!"

Fai laughed and looked over at me, "How romantic!"

The girl laughed a laugh of evil, "My thoughts exactly!"

Then she disappeared to go and get my roller blades. She reemerged and put the skates on the counter. I picked them up and walked over to the dingy benches that lined the walls as Fai waved goodbye to the twins. The both of us put our blades on and began to make our way to the rink, where the only occupants were two boys. One looked as if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed constantly and the other was about as carefree as Fai.

The slighter one (the grumpy one) seemed to be locked in a fierce competition with the other. The taller boy didn't look too worried and was winning effortlessly.

"Wow! He's fast!" Fai observed with a childish tone.

"Yeah," I agreed as we joined the non-existent current of the skating floor.

* * *

Kamui was the angry looking guy and Fuuma was the happy-go-lucky guy. According to Fuuma, Kamui had always been rather rigid but cute all the same. And yes, he's always as competitive as when we first walked in. Especially with Fuuma. Mostly Fuuma. Okay it was only Fuuma.

"But that just means that he thinks you're worth competing against," Fai told him as the three of us leaned against a half wall.

"Perhaps," Fuuma replied in a nearly dreamy way. "I hope that one day he'll stop trying to win against me and just accept that he likes me."

I saw Fai's face change for a second. He looked almost envious of the way Fuuma felt for Kamui.

Fuuma shook his head, "If you guys don't want to be run over by a bunch of little kids, I suggest that you guys go home now." He smiled at us.

"Why? It's only one," Fai pointed out. "Most schools don't get out until four."

"Today is an early release," Fuuma told him as Kamui sated up to us and came to a stop that would make professionals jealous. "Hello Kamui."

Kamui glared at him, "Get off the wall Fuuma, you know that no one's supposed to rest on the wall."

"It's okay," the boy looked at Kamui as if he were the most important thing in the entire world to him. "No one is here yet, so we're not impeding the flow of the floor."

Kamui growled and then began skating again but in a more agitated way.

"Did he just growl?" I asked pointing after the girly-boy. It was a long stretch but I'd say that he was almost, if not as equally girly as Fai.

"Yeah, he does that a lot," Fuuma informed us with a light-hearted laugh.

Fuuma then skated after Kamui with an expression of mischief on his face. He caught up to the boy easily, which earned him another hard glare. And then he got hit when he started to play with Kamui's midnight locks. Fai couldn't stifle his mirth when this happened. And I just barely managed to keep my hands off of him when he turned to me with a smile that read that he was the happiest teenager alive.

"So do you want to stay here when the kids get here?" Fai asked me.

"That's up to you, Fai."

* * *

As you can imagine, Fai chose to stay. And when the kids poured in, they came in hoards of prepubescent annoyances. But Fai just enjoyed skating with them. Every now and then I'd see him helping the youngest ones in the rink skate. It was…somewhat astounding that Fai was so good with kids. Not only that, the kids loved him as well.

I had decided however, to turn in my skates fifteen minutes after the brats started showing up. While they treated Fai like a mother, I was the jungle gym. Fai had of course encouraged them to climb all over me. So rather than strangling Fai in front of his child-cult following I gave up my skates and sat in the mini food court.

I had yet to order anything however. The man in glasses that Hokuto had pointed to earlier was giving me a strange look. I glanced over at him and felt a shiver of fear speed down my spine. Just in time, Fai beckoned to me from the half wall where Fuuma had been talking to us earlier that day.

I walked over to him and was given a kiss to knock me off balance. As well as five dollars.

"What is this for?" I asked raising an eyebrow at his money.

"Can you go and buy me a soda?" Fai fanned himself with his hand, that didn't stop the beads of sweat from clinging to his hair however. "I'll be in there in a minute."

As I was about to ask him what kind of soda a little girl was babbling to Fai about something, "Is he your boyfriend, Fai?"

Fai laughed and mussed her hair up a little, "Uh…"

"It's okay," she whispered loudly to him. "I know that guys can be with guys. My brother told me that."

"In that case," Fai started with an amused smile fixed on his lips. "Yes he is my boyfriend!"

"Do you love him?" she asked, her voice missing a few syllables of the sentence.

"Uh…" Fai looked torn between whatever was in his head and what I would say. She cocked her head to the side. "Let's keep skating. Okay, Aliesha?"

He pushed her along on her blades and threw me a confused look and mouthed the word 'Sorry' to me.

Tch. What did he have to be sorry for?

I walked to the snack counter and ordered a soda for Fai and a bottle of water for myself. The man that had looked at me smiled as fake as Fai did on a bad day. And as fate would have it, he began to talk to me.

"My name is Seishirou," he introduced himself as he handed me my bottle of water.

"I'm Kurogane," I was just being polite. As the beginning of our journey taught me, not introducing yourself could land you on an impromptu trip with a totally insane boy.

Seishirou leaned closer to me as I took a long drink of my water, "Do you see that boy over there?" He indicated to the docile twin behind the skate check out counter.

I nodded to him and took another drink. Damn water tasted good after all of that skating.

He gave me a strange, friendly, slightly scary smile before continuing, "I plan on marrying him someday!"

Of course I had been in the middle of drinking when he said this so all of my water was in the air and on my shirt once he was done with his sentence. Seishirou seemed startled as I fought with the napkin dispenser. After taking a deep breath and a few shredded napkins I finally was able to speak.

"Well unless they change the marriage laws around here," I dabbed at the water on my shirt. With the air conditioning going at full blast and the ice cold water seeping through my shirt I wouldn't be surprised if I got hypothermia from this incident. "You'll be waiting a long time."

Now his face softened and his smile took on a new light as he continued to admire Subaru from across the rink, "I know…" he turned around to get Fai's soda, sprite. "But I'm willing to wait for him."

He handed it to me and said, "And it looks like you're willing to do the same thing."

"Wha-"

"MISTER!" a familiar voice screamed as people in the skating rink began to yell and panic.

Fear overcame me as I ran to the half wall where Fai had kissed me and jumped over it.

Oh God. Please don't let it be what I think it is…

I ran across the hardwood floor, pushing people and going against the flow of their panicked traffic.

God these people needed to get the hell out of my way!

I wanted to throttle every person in my way. My pulse rose as I got closer to the center of the commotion. The little girl, Aliesha, was crouched down by Fai crying her eyes out. Fai was on the floor taking in irregular, sharp, painful breaths. He writhed this way and that, and I swear my heart stopped when I saw him like that. It didn't take me more than a split second to get down to Fai.

He turned to me and grabbed at my shirt. His hands were shaking, his mouth wasn't taking in the air it needed to.

Fai was helpless.

"SOME ONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" I yelled looking around at the myriad of kids and their parents. Apparently they too were paralyzed by the scene.

"NO!" Fai screamed as he took on a pained drag of air. "Ashura…" his breaths seemed to be screams. "Ashura!"

"Ashura?! What the hell does he have to do with this?!"

Fai tried to speak but was too short of breath to barely maintain a conscience state. I saw Fuuma on his cell phone, on finger in his free ear, talking frantically to the operator on the other end of the phone.

I held onto Fai's wrists as he struggled for air. His grip on my shirt tightened and he tried to pull himself closer to me but failed from his lack of strength. I pulled him into my chest as everyone watched on in horror.

"Kurogane, they're on their way," Fuuma said looking down at Fai as if he were in pain as well.

I cradled Fai and whispered into his hair as his breathing became worse.

"_You're gonna be okay Fai…" _

_End of Dry Ice_

* * *

**A/N: **You guys still love me right...? -cowers- So this is the point where things will never be the same!!! I'll try to have the next chapter out soon, but unfortunately for you guys...I have finals 4 days after school starts up again.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"'Because his birthday isn't until tomorrow, we'll have to contact his legal guardian...'"_


	14. If Nothing Else

**A/N: **...I'm sorry? Yes I can blame this on finals...but I only have one a day until Thrusday! So that's not it...I could blame it on THE boyfriend...Yeah I think I'll do that...Blame him!! -points to him- Yes so. I hope that you guys love me at the end of this chapter as well. I think that will be VERY difficult for you guys though. I'm sorry I haven't updated it! I'm sorry that I left you guys high-and-dry for a while but it's BACK! I'm also sorry that I haven't replied to the reviews yet! I feel so bad because they were so fantastic! You guys are supporting me through the Torture Fai phase of the story! I will make it up to him a million and ten percent I promise!

**Summary: **Please let him make it...

**Warnings: **Swearing (...o.O WUT?! SHII KRAYZEE!)...Something really really sad happens...(so if you're really sensitive you might want to grab a pillow to cuddle away your sadness or to scream into...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 14

I squeezed Fai's hand tighter. Though the oxygen mask was on him, he wasn't any better. His throat was red with the labor of breathing. His arms were decorated with blue splotches and he still wouldn't respond to sounds. I clung to him, feeling just a little more desperate than him.

"Give him some space!" The EMT yelled at me when I got just a little too close.

I began to pull back but Fai pulled at my hand weakly. He looked up at me unfocusedly with his racing crystal eyes. I rested my forehead on our joined hands and kissed his wrist.

"It'll be okay Fai," I whispered as his hand began shaking.

* * *

"Steroids!" One person shouted as they rushed Fai into a small, bland looking room.

"We need fluids for him stat!" Another shouted as they transferred Fai onto a more comfortable looking bed.

There were more shouts and demands for items that would save Fai's life but I couldn't hear them. For once in my life I pulled into myself and thought about what had happened at the roller skating rink. Why hadn't I made him bring his inhaler?! Why?!

I ran my hands through my hair and tapped my foot, unable to sit still. There was too much going on for me to be able to be calm.

And what would Fai do when he woke up?

Would he hate me for outright ignoring his request to not be taken to the hospital?

Would we be the same?

Who was I kidding?! After this there was no such thing as 'being the same'. He would hate me…

Even though I was sure he would hate me from the start, I still brought him here…Why?

_Because I don't want him to disappear…_

"Mr. Kurogane?" a woman in a meek voice asked. I stood up and she came over to me immediately. "Mr. Fluorite is stabilized and you can go see him. But…"

I waited for her to continue. Were there rules I had to follow? Like no strenuous topics of conversation. Don't touch him. And the like.

"But," she looked to the side and bit her lip, as if what she knew that what she was going to say next would hurt me. "Since his birthday is not until tomorrow and he is therefore still a minor, we have to tell his legal guardians of the incident."

I wanted to grip a counter. He was going to hate me for sure.

"Okay."

* * *

Room 314. The room the nurse directed me to before fluttering off to inform Fai's guardian of his current situation. I probably should have knocked before entering Fai's hospital room, but if he were awake he'd more than likely tell me to get lost/jump in a ditch/go to hell. So instead of knocking I just quietly opened the door, a high squeak coming from worn hinges as I did this.

A friendly worse-for-wear doctor smiled at me when I walked into the room, "Hello."

I could feel the worry crawl up onto my face, "Is he going to be okay?"

The doctor wrote a few notes on a clipboard and then clicked his pen and placed it in his pocket, "He'll be fine. We had to have his medical records foxed here from Michigan. With how sever his asthma is I'm surprised he doesn't wear a risk bracelet. He probably should."

For lack of any verbal response I nodded, watching Fai breathe in through the oxygen mask.

"His belongings are on that tray over there," the doctor indicated to the corner of the room. "And be sure that when he wakes up, he drinks plenty of water. No sports drinks, no sodas. Only water."

"Yeah…" I began with a shaky voice. "Okay."

I couldn't really comprehend the moment; just that Fai was lying defenselessly in front of me, silently breathing.

"Hey…um…how long until he wakes up?" I asked actually looking at the doctor for the first time since I came into the room.

He tucked his clipboard under his arm, "It should be a few hours. His body is replacing all of the water it is missing and since he's being adequately hydrated now with the I.V. it won't be too much longer."

I nodded. My mind unable to really reply at all, "Thanks."

"No problem," he clapped his hand to my shoulder in a comforting father-son-movie type way. "Now get some rest. I'm sure Mr. Fluorite wouldn't like you to be up worrying about him all night."

Redundantly I nodded and he walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the one who would hate me the moment he woke up. My legs carried me unsurely closer to Fai. The oxygen mask around him was coated with his fogging breath.

How could I have been so careless?

Was there any way for me to ensure that this would not happen again?

I didn't know the first thing about preventing asthma attacks!

How could I keep Fai safe?

I twisted a single lock of his hair around my finger and felt as if I was feeling the entirety of his frailty through this. I brushed his pale cheek and knew that I couldn't keep Fai safe because of my ignorance.

But then, what could I do?

I leaned over and kissed Fai's forehead. Even if he hated me after all of this was over…that was okay. As long as he was safe, it was okay for him to hate me.

My legs carried me over to the tray that the doctor had pointed me to earlier. I shifted the items around, looking for a wallet, or something. I dug in his pants pockets and found a thin wallet made of black leather. Opening it slowly I found that all forms of identification. A driver's license, a Michigan issued state I.D., his social security card and I also found something that might help me.

A small card, about the size of a business card, with the name Ashura written across it in script more akin to calligraphy than cursive. Slowly I turned it over; hopefully this would be what I thought it was.

A phone number! I stuffed Fai's wallet into my back pocket and headed out to find a pay phone. I wasn't quite sure of what I would say to Ashura, but I knew that if I cared for Fai at all this was what I had to do.

Once I found a phone I dialed the long distance code, the area code and finally Ashura's number. I felt my stomach knot up tighter and tighter with each ring.

"Hello?" a man answered the phone.

"Hello," I paused, the knots in my stomach twisted. "Ashura Fluorite?"

"This is he," he responded in a cordial tone.

"Um, this is Youou Kurogane," I began, my mouth feeling dry. "I have been traveling with your son, Fai, for a month or so and I wanted to call to tell you that I'm bringing him home."

"Thank you," Ashura said in a sigh of relief. "Tell Fai that I will be wiring money into his account for plane tickets for the both of you."

"Actually, sir, I'd like to take Fai back on the bus," I requested feeling wrong for even talking to Ashura. "If that's okay with you."

There was silence on the other end. Then he started, "Yes, it's fine. Just…make sure he doesn't get away from you for too long, otherwise neither of us will see him for a very long time."

"I understand."

Had I just handed Fai over to the hell he'd been trying to escape?

* * *

I returned to the hospital room to see Fai already awake, entertaining the twins from the skating rink, Seishirou, Fuuma, Kamui and that little girl he was skating with prior to collapsing. Aliesha? There were flowers, not many but enough to say that Fai had touched some part of their lives those few words and minutes he'd spent on each. That was somewhat…astounding.

Fai let out an 'oh' sound and the room turned to me, their smiles transferring from Fai to me. I walked over to Fai and saw that the smile he wore was the standard 'just-met-you' pleasantry. It wasn't one of those smiles that I'd seen when he was happy enough for it to spread to me.

I wanted to reach out and touch his hair, his face, something that would tell me that he wouldn't slip through my fingers like Ashura had warned me about.

"Good afternoon," Fai said to me, the room seeming to zero in only on the two of us.

His lips twisted into a smile. A smile that made those knots in my stomach jolt back into life. A cynical smile.

"Kurogane," he finished with his eyes closed.

When he opened his eyes I saw the hurt he'd meant to hide. The hurt that I had caused by caring for him.

* * *

Once everyone left, their flowers, smiles and jokes lingering a while after words, Fai turned into this person that I barely recognized. He stared sourly into space, hardly had anything to say to me and his whole being seemed to sink into anger and hatred over the course of a couple of hours. But maybe he'd always had _this _side and he'd just always been good at keeping it tucked away in the fake smiles and charming personality.

After what felt like a couple of lifetimes of silence he spoke.

"They called Ashura didn't they?" he asked, a nearly not-there shake in his voice.

"Yes," I replied, feeling the weight of my actions full force.

Fai took in a few broken breaths. He kept his fists balled up in the starchy hospital blanket. I looked up to see his fists trembling at this one revelation. Should I tell him that I had called Ashura as well? This whole journey I had badgered Fai to be honest with me, it would be wrong of me to not give him the same.

"I did too," I told him, unable to look him in face. That was okay though since he was glaring down the paint on the wall anyway.

"You what?!" he shouted snapping his head around so fact I thought I heard a crack.

"I called Ashura too," I repeated looking up at him.

His eyes looked at me as if I'd committed the biggest act of betrayal since biblical times. I could see in his face that he wanted to smack me, to hurt me just as bad as I'd hurt him in those few moments.

"Why did you call him?!" Fai yelled, losing his composure as he stood up from his hospital bed.

I took in a deep breath, "To tell him that I was taking you home."

Fai stared back at me, making me nearly regret this decision. His mouth hung open in disbelief and he looked close to tears.

"Kurogane," the name felt like acid. "Please leave me."

I stood there for a moment. What did he mean?

"Just leave!" he screamed balling up his fists.

"The room?" I asked not looking away from him for a second.

"No!" Fai yelled this as if I were the one being unreasonable. "I want you to leave me and never talk to me again!"

"Well," I stuck my hands in my pocket. "I'm not going to do that Fai."

"Fine," he agreed coldly. "Then I'll just run away."

"I think you'll have a little trouble with that," I informed him as I fingered a flap of leather in my pocket.

"I seriously doubt that you can say anything that'll make me change my mind, Kurogane," Fai crossed his arms and looked me up and down critically.

I pulled his wallet out of my pocket, "I don't have to say anything."

His entire face fell and then flared up in anger. He wanted to yell obscenities that would make a sailor blush with shame. He wanted to jump on me and beat me into a coma. I could tell. But he didn't.

No. He did something that hurt me more than any of that would have.

Fai's crystal blue eyes looked straight into mine and just like that he said, "I hate you…"

_End of If Nothing Else_

* * *

**A/N: **...-pouts- I'm a little depressed after writing that...Can you guys find it in your heart to continue loving and supporting your favorite RIn? -hugs little puppy plush for the 'cute' effect-

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"He ran his finger down my throat and leaned in closer to me, his breath hot on my neck. 'I'll make your life a living hell...'" _


	15. Vulnerability

**A/N: **...I am honestly shocked at what I wrote this time...Most of the time I hear from my sisters that I am strange for being so shocked and surprised by what I write...but this time Natsuo could only agree with me. -nod nod- So I hope that you guys are as shocked as I was when I was done writing it. Oh and I'm sorry for not replying to reviews! There are so many of them! I feel intimidated!!! But don't stop!!! NO DON'T STOP!!!! XO Just be paitent I will try to reply as they come in this time!!! Again I am sorry!!! -gives all of my reviewers big heart plushies-

**Summary: **Sometimes falling isn't as simple as movies tell us...

**Warnings: **Swearing (...-.-;...), Shonen-ai (a very big shock! Isn't it?!)...and psychological speculation!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 15

Fai was allowed to leave the hospital a little bit after our scene. Needless to say he wanted nothing more than to grab his stuff and run away. It was obvious. The way his hands seemed to twitch when he reached for the hospital room door. And the way he would keep glancing behind himself, to see how close I was to him. And how he kept walking just that much faster than me.

Yeah it was obvious.

But I'd be damned if I'd let him get away from me. Despite what he said in his hospital room, I didn't feel the same way. In fact, you could say that it was the exact opposite of what I felt for him. Even if he was try his damnedest to drive me away.

I pushed my bag under my seat and watched as Fai scowled at the rain that pounded against the bus window. In his ears were two little headphones, which effectively closed me out of his world. Yes it hurt. But I wasn't about to beg for my spot in his life back. And I wasn't going to apologize for caring about him.

In my bag there was a small box, a pretty plain box but one that wasn't for me. It was for Fai. I didn't think he'd accept it so I kept it to myself during the bus trip.

It was his birthday present.

* * *

We were two states away from Texas and we were _supposed _to have gotten on the bus at 11:30…it was already 3:00…in the morning. Fai was sitting next to me, dark circles under his eyes, his zune dead, and had decided that bitching about _everything _was the way to go.

The expensive vending machines.

The lack of adequate drinks that didn't include water.

The fact that the snacks were dwindling and there were absolutely no gas stations close to us.

As much as I wanted to grab him by his collar and tell him to shut the hell up, I didn't. It was probably why he was doing it. Prior to the hospital incident Fai had never once complained about being obscenely delayed with no information from the rude bus station personnel. No, normally he'd find some way to ignore the long wait by annoying me/scaring other people in the bus station/being outright weird.

Now he was moaning about how tired he was (this much was irrefutable) and about how all he wanted to do was curl up in a motel bed. Making it a point to say that he didn't want to go to sleep in his own bed. And then he glared at me.

I looked back at him. And just because he was annoying me, I brushed my thumb over his cheekbone. He smacked my hand away from his face.

"Don't touch me," he hissed giving me a harder glare.

"Don't annoy me," I retorted.

"I can do whatever I want to," Fai informed me with a superior attitude. "And you didn't mind being annoyed before."

I wanted to hit him. _So bad. _

"That was when you were being cute." Had I really admitted that? "Now you're doing this just to piss me off."

Fai rested his chin on his palm and aimed a sickly malicious smile at me, "How observant."

* * *

When the sun woke me up I saw Fai already awake and was shaking his leg. I grunted and turned over to avoid the sun as well as being awake. But when I found that my feet collided with another disgruntled passenger I decided to wake up. Of course if I faced the window again I would be met with more anger.

"You know," Fai sighed out in a pessimistic tone. "I know you're awake."

I glared over my shoulder at him, wanting to say something equally as sarcastic. Instead I just eyed him up cautiously. He looked down at me with a hard look on his lips.

"You don't have to pretend," he informed me as if he were hurt that I tried to go back to sleep.

"Jeez," I groaned. "Are you pregnant or something?"

"What?" he looked a little more like the Fai I knew with that confused expression.

"You're getting all bent out of shape because I tried to go back to sleep," I explained.

Fai blew an agitated huff of air that ruffled his bangs but said nothing more to me.

"We're stopping at a motel tonight, Fai," I told him, sliding my eyes shut once more.

"Fine," he offered curtly. Then he muttered, "Like I have any say in it anyway."

It was funny how the tables were turned now. In the beginning I was dragged around by a cheery Fai with no control over our destination. Yet here I was, the one holding all the cards, exacting my would-be playful revenge on Fai.

And when it was handed to me I found out that it was ironically the polar opposite of what I wanted all along.

* * *

I paid for the motel, which was nothing more than a beat up establishment on the side of the highway. It was almost a habit for me to pick out the most run down looking motel at that point in time. As soon as we got into our room Fai threw his bag into the corner of the room and laid face down on the bed.

I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. A moment later I felt Fai trying to push me off of the bed. Of course, his body was still weak, and his pushing had the same effect as a kitten nudging my leg. I shook his hand away and he lifted his head just enough to glare at me coldly.

"I'm not going anywhere," I informed him, feeling as though I was dealing with a toddler. "So get used to me being around."

Fai readjusted himself on the bed as I lowered myself to lay on my back. God my neck hurt. I was dead tired and feeling as if stabbing myself in the temple with a letter opener would be more appealing than dealing with this bitchy, moody Fai. I let my eyes slide shut. My head began to spin from lack of sleep as I began to slip into a dream world.

Just as I teetered between being awake and being blissfully asleep I felt Fai's finger slide down my throat to tease a small section of skin that was showing through my shirt. My eyes snapped open and I grabbed his wrist as it started to shift my collar around so he could touch me more.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I asked completely baffled by his moment of insanity.

"The same thing you've done to me," he replied leaning in. He brushed the tip of his nose over my pulse. His breath was hot against my neck, "I'm going to make your life a living hell."

Momentarily I was stunned by this statement and I must have let go of his wrist because the next second Fai was reaching under my shirt with one hand and the other was working on the fastenings of my jeans as he kissed and bit my neck mercilessly.

"Fai!" I yelled, his movements not stopping for a second. "Get off of me Fai!"

His lips moved from my neck to kiss me hard, bruising hard, on my lips as he struggled with the zipper.

"Stop it Fai!" I told him, pushing his hand away from my pants. It just forced its way back to where it had been. Then he raked his nails over my chest. I winced. "You're being stupid!"

I pushed on his shoulder half heartedly to make him get the point. He grabbed my wrist and slammed it against the wall, pinning it there. Fai stared right into my eyes.

"How am _I _the one being stupid?!" he shouted, his eyes taking a darker side. Stunned I stayed quiet. He hit my wrist against the wall again, "Answer me Kurogane!"

"Because you know damn well that I'm stronger than you!" I replied overpowering him with one motion. I pinned him down to the bed using one hand to hold his scrawny wrists and the other to balance myself with my knees on either side of his slim hips. "Stop being a fool Fai."

His eyes widened in the sudden realization of either what he had done or the situation he was in. Slowly I retracted my hand and settled on my knees while Fai gathered himself mentally. Dazedly Fai sat up and pulled his knees to his chest.

"I'm sorry," he apologized in a voice a few decibels before inaudible. "I-I just…"

I could see his eyes trembling even though they were turned to the ground in shame. I was going to tell him not to worry about it before he got up to begin wobbling to the bathroom. In his spacey state he left the door cracked just enough to let the light show through in slivers of florescent white.

The showerhead was turned on, the sounds of water echoing through our eons of silence. I sat on the edge of the bed and thought about what to do next.

That look in Fai's eyes was unlike anything I'd ever seen. It was dark, pained, as if he was imitating the evil gleam. That wasn't Fai. While Fai was annoying and mischievous at best, he was gentle.

That look wasn't Fai.

I pushed myself up from the bed and knocked lightly on the bathroom door and was answered with the continuous sound of water hitting plastic. The door slowly creaked open as I stepped through it. Immediately I was welcomed with the sight of Fai sitting on the floor of the bath tub, fully clothed as water pelted him. He still wore that spacey, sorrowful expression on his face.

Carefully I walked over to him. I knelt down beside the tub and watched as his clothes became drenched in this weird ritual of his. I stepped into the water, shivering at how cold the water was. My body slid in next to Fai's easily despite the narrowness of the hard plastic. I sat there silently, allowing myself to become as drenched as Fai was.

Eventually Fai's head rested on my shoulder. I let my head lean against the top of his slick mane. He placed his hand across my legs tentatively. I returned the gesture by wrapping him in my arms as he shook from the cold. I felt his words whisper against my skin but I couldn't hear him. He no doubt knew that I was kissing his hair but he didn't raise any objections as I did so.

And we sat there, letting the freezing water wash away our conflict. Then when the both of us were satisfied with this occurrence I stood up and stepped out of the water. I turned the water off and helped Fai up, his fragility showing in the delicate way he took my hand and shivered as his skin was exposed to the air conditioning. His toes hit the ledge of the tub clumsily but he made it out in one piece. I brushed his dripping locks away from his face, feeling as though I'd fallen through some vortex that made me see just what Fai meant to me.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him softly to make him feel that he meant more to me than he could possibly imagine.

I bent down slightly to carry this thought out, but Fai placed his fingers on my lips to stop me.

"Please don't…" he whimpered pleading with his eyes fixed on mine.

Nodding, I stood up straight and grabbed a towel. I dried off his hair and face, taking the care to dry off his neck and arms as well. When I was done I handed it to him and went into the main room to grab some clothing for him. When I returned Fai had wrapped himself up in the towel. I placed his stuff on the counter.

"Here," he mumbled handing me a dry towel.

I took it and let my fingers linger over his icy hand for just a second longer than necessary. I felt his eyes follow me as I disappeared from the bathroom to change.

I knew that we'd never talk about what happened in that small, frigid bath tub but the fact is that it had happened. That moment was real. And it helped me realize that there was a lot more to what I felt for Fai than a passing romance and that there was a lot more to what tormented Fai than simply a bad relationship with his past.

Then as I was getting dressed I wondered if I would be able to just leave Fai in the hands of Ashura once this was all over…

_End of Vulnerability_

* * *

**A/N: **Recently I've been asking this of you, my readers, quite a bit...but...love me? Do you still love me even after this? I think that this is probably the most shocking chapter I've ever written. But who knows? Maybe I'll write one even more shocking than this in the future? I dunno. -shrugs- Since Finals are over I'll try to get more out since I've had this habit of leaving you guys off at the worst moments possible.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_'We only had a few more hours until we'd be in Michigan, Detroit in fact, and the closer we got the worse I felt...'_


	16. Terror

**A/N: **How's this for a speedy update! -triumphant/smug pose- Yes...worship me! lol j/k! So I especially want to hear what you guys have to say about this chapter. I didn't have little Natsuo read over it this time...I was THAT EAGER to put it up for you guys! Feel special!!!

I would like to give a HUGE EPIC MONSTROUS thanks to **OsakaKitty **for her FANTASTIC fanart!!! -throws confettii- -dances- That was a big part of why I wanted to finish so soon! Thank you for your piece! It really inspired me so thanks for that too!!

**Summary: **Being torn so many different way can't be too good for your health...

**Warnings: **Swearing (Oh gosh! REPENT! Sorry had to get that out of my system...REPENT! VILE FEIND!), Shonen-Ai (...Yeah, can you believe it?!) and more strange Fai moments (pretty sure that should be a warning...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 16

As I thought, when Fai stepped out of the bathroom standing in muted florescent he didn't speak to me. He stole worried glances when he thought I wasn't watching him but there was not a sound passed between us that night. We wouldn't speak of what happened in the shower. It felt wrong to think about talking about it. It was almost as if that moment belonged only to that moment and had no real place outside of those minutes that passed with our backs pressed against the hard cold tub.

So I let Fai have his way. We didn't talk about what happened. Not that I would have known what to say had Fai wanted to talk.

But would the long spell of silence be broken when we woke up? Would Fai be back to his now-usual bitching self? Or would he continue to tear himself up over what had happened…before the shower?

* * *

For the most part Fai stayed quiet. He stared out the window but didn't really watch the long stretches of highway turn into cities and then melt back into straight tree-lined roads. He bunched up the fabric of the shirt he was wearing, which was of course five sizes too big for him. All I could do was watch him and keep him from flinging himself out of the window.

"We will be in Detroit in a minute here," the voice of the bus driver overhead droned over a static speaker that popped every other word or so. "All connections for Saginaw, Lansing…"

I tuned him out and went back to staring at Fai. His leg was twitching but he still continued to stare at the glass. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to tell him that it would all surly be alright. But the question was, would he accept me?

I wasn't going to apologize for taking him to the hospital. That was the same as asking me to regret caring for him. As up-down bipolar bitchy-scary he'd been since the hospital…I couldn't regret taking him to the hospital. As much as I'd hate to admit it, even in the privacy of my own head, he was very important to me. Maybe I was selfish for it, but I wanted Fai to be with me for as long as I could have him.

The call to Ashura on the other hand…the knots in my stomach hadn't stopped since I got off the phone with him. Over the phone he was very polite, if a little abrupt. Yet, here I was feeling my stomach wind itself into a paper crane as the bus brought Detroit into sight. Had I done the right thing by calling him? What if he had been what Fai was running from?

If so, I might as well have thrown gravy on him and thrown him into the lion's den.

I looked over at Fai, who felt my gaze and looked back at me. Though he didn't say a word he was _begging _me to take him away from this state. Then within a second of our eyes meeting Fai was back to staring at the dirty window as we slid into a long parking space. I grabbed my bag as did he. Then we both stood up and walked off the bus silently.

There was nothing to say after seeing his eyes that desperate for escape.

What had happened…?

* * *

The only time Fai talked to me after the incident in the hotel room was just as people were lining up to board the bus to Saginaw. He grabbed my coat sleeve and buried his face into it.

"Please don't take me back there…" he pleaded his voice saying that he was near tears. "Please…"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. What was there to say to that? I'm sorry, you mean everything to me but I have to? No. That sounded like a lie in my head. There was no way I was going to repeat it.

Instead I gathered him in my arms and held him for a second, "I'm sorry…"

Fai trembled in my grasp but didn't fight me. He stood there with his arms at his sides, barely accepting what I had to offer. I stroked his soft hair and pulled him tighter into my chest. I wanted to make him a part of me. A bigger part of me than what he took up already.

But I had no choice but to hand him over to some one who would know how to keep him safe from what threatened him. I wanted Fai so badly all to myself…but I couldn't let him disappear if I could help it. He was precious…

"Please…" he pleaded again, whimpering in my ear.

I held onto him tighter. Maybe I should just take him some place far away from here. It was hard to see Fai crumble in front of me. Where was that loud, sweet, totally clueless boy I'd met in Trenton? I missed him so badly but this boy in front of me needed just as much assurance as he did.

"I'm sorry…" I apologized again before he pulled away from me to get his stuff.

* * *

The bus ride felt like it was riding straight into the pits of hell. Fai looked as if those were his exact thoughts as well. He bit his lips, bit his nails and refused to look at one single place for longer than a fleeting second or two.

There were only a few people on the bus. But that made sense. I heard from Ashura that Saginaw was pretty small in the suburban area…and that he and Fai had lived out in the woodland area of Saginaw with so few neighbors. Or so he said. And that made me wonder how Fai and I were going to get to Ashura's house. I wouldn't mind walking with Fai there, no matter how far away from the station it was. But I seriously doubted that Fai would take me there.

He'd probably walk me around in circles until we both died of starvation. Yes, that's what Fai would do. So the only thing to do was to call Ashura and ask him for the address so that they could take a cab to Fai's house.

I slid the quarters into the dirty flu-infested pay phone and dialed the number on the back of the little card that I placed on the ledge the pay phone provided. It felt weird calling Ashura with Fai so close to me. But there was no other option. Fai was desperate for us to not get to his house. Though the knots in told me otherwise, I had no idea as to why he didn't want to go back.

Fai eyed me up warily but at least his eyes weren't red with the threat of tears anymore. He watched me as if I would rip off my skin and show him that I, yes I Kurogane, was really Ashura. Then Fai did something that surprised me. He trailed his fingers over mine and then dropped his hand.

It wasn't anything like back at the hotel. There was no lust or bargaining in his touch. It was almost as if…he was saying that he was resigned to his fate. Maybe it was his parting gesture. Maybe he was just assuring me that I made the right choice. Or maybe it was neither of those and he just missed me as much as I missed him.

Yeah and I enjoy getting nails driven through my feet.

_Ring…Ring…Ring…_

"Hello?" Ashura's voice sounded over the other end and Fai's hand withdrew from mine.

"Hello, Mr. Fluorite, we're in Detroit now. I need your address," I requested already looking in my pockets for a pen or pencil or anything really.

"Ah," he sighed as if he knew what was going on. "Fai won't give it to you, right?"

"Actually," I pulled out a sharpie as I said this. "I didn't ask him."

I glanced over at Fai. If it felt weird talking to Ashura with him there it was ten times more awkward talking about Fai as if he _wasn't _there.

I maneuvered the phone to rest between my ear and shoulder to uncap the marker and write the address on my arm when Fai's hand shot out and he reached for the sharpie. I had to move to avoid him but he kept going after it like a spoiled child.

"Fai! Fai!" I reprimanded him in hushed tones. "Stop it."

"Kurogane?" Ashura questioned in a confused voice. "Is everything okay?"

I had to reinforce my grip on the phone, "Yes, Fai's just…"

Fai grabbed the marker from me and stuffed in his pocket and kept his hand there. I glared at him as he was scowling at me.

I sighed, "He took my marker from me." I felt like a child saying that to Ashura.

"Put him on the phone for me, Kurogane."

I handed the phone to Fai. His eyes glossed over and he took it automatically, as if he were trained to do so. There were a few words from Ashura.

"Yes, sir…" Fai muttered gaining none of his normal self back.

He reached into his pocket and handed me the marker obediently before shifting into a more guarded disposition. Then he handed me the phone robotically, his eyes still foggy. Once he was freed of the phone his face regained personality and his lips resumed their usual scowl.

"Umm…Thanks," I said unsure of how to feel about what had just happened in front of me.

"You're welcome," he replied with a gentle smile in his voice. "Now here's the address…"

* * *

We were almost there. I could tell because as the assembly line houses thinned out the evergreens and other unidentifiable breeds began to surround us. When Ashura had told me that they lived in the woodland…I hadn't expected them to live in a fucking forest!

Fai bit his lip nervously beside me.

Fai ran his hand through his hair for the ten millionth time.

Fai glanced at me imploringly as the forest flew by us.

All I could do was watch him eat away at his nail bed.

Watch him pull out handfuls of hair that fell out.

And look at him with guilt in my eyes.

When we pulled into the gravel driveway, Fai's house was not what I expected it to be. Yeah I knew that his father was rich, just not as rich as what Fai led me to believe. He was richer. Much richer than what Fai had implied.

The house was bigger than all the apartments, duplexes and houses I'd lived in with my father combined. Times ten.

For a second I thought of the White House. But then shook off the notion. We were in Michigan after all.

…Maybe this was the President's weekend home?

I pulled my eyes away from the marvel and handed the cabbie my credit card. I heard Fai struggle against the slick seats.

"Kuro-tan?" he pleaded much to my visible surprise.

How long had it been since he called me Kuro-tan/chuu/myuu/whatever else he could come us with?! …How good did it sound to my ears?

I turned to him in utter shock.

Then he shocked me even further by pressing his lips against mine frantically.

I struggled for language. What the hell was going on here?!

His nails scraped the back of my neck as he pulled me into his world with his derailed kisses. I grabbed at whatever bit of him I could despite the fact that I knew that this wasn't going to last long.

And like that his lips were in the air between us as our ragged breaths mingled. Our foreheads were resting against one another and his hand was still perched on the back of my neck as we regained our equilibrium.

The cabbie tapped my card against the glass of his cab with a disturbed look on his face, thus ending the spell Fai and I were under. In a single movement Fai was walking out of the cab and into his own world once more.

I scrambled out of the yellow cab and was barely able to stand as the frigid winter air hit me at full blast. With my bag in hand I headed into what could easily be the biggest mistake of my life (according to my instinct).

"_It would've been enough to go by…" _Fai sang quietly next to me as we stood there in a second to look at house.

"_If we could sail on the wind in the dark…"_

"What's the next line to that song?" I asked curious about it for some reason beyond my understanding.

He looked at me startled by this but he answered none the less.

"_Cut those chains in the middle of the night," _he stared at the ground. _"That had you torn apart…" _

Oddly appropriate for what was about to happen, I assumed taking a deep breath and leading the both of us into that intimidating house.

_End of Terror_

* * *

**A/N: **How was it? I was lisening to _Enough to Go By by: Vienna Teng _when I was writing the end part so that's why that insert is there. It seemed to fit them pretty well. Not the whole song mostly the chorus. Gah I love that song!!! -le hearts!- And sorry about the not replying to the reviews. I was spending most of my time fending off my crazy boyfriend, my sisters and writing this chapter. So...I'm sorry! -.-; Life can be such an unjust and fickle lady...or is that Luck? -ponders-

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_'Fai was right...these potatoes sucked!' _


	17. Periods of Restlessness

**A/N: **-sobs- My little sister has a bet going with one of our friends so she can't read this chapter to tell me if it's good or not! Yes I do need an ego boost before putting a chapter up...hush. So please tell me what you think. I rather like this chapter because of all of the drama...But I'm also kinda warped.

**Summary: **The fateful meeting with end in...?

**Warnings: **Swearing...(This is our eloquent Kuro-tan after all!)...Shonen-Ai (NARF!)...and...hrm...Adult themes...(But you guys have been anticipating this moment for a loooooong time coming!)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 17

When we walked forward Fai refused to push the door open for the two of us so I had to knock. The both of us were greeted by a docile girl in a stereotypical maid's outfit.

"Please come in," she stood to the side and bowed as we came in. "Master Ashura has been expecting you."

"Um…Thanks," I said unsure of what to make of this huge place.

She nodded and indicated to our bags, "Would you like me to handle your bags? I could put them in Master Fai's room for the time being."

"That's okay," I answered feeling suddenly defensive of my bag. "We'll take care of it."

"As you wish," God she sounded like she stepped out of Penthouse Forum or something! "Master Ashura will be finished in a minute. He is dealing with company business."

I nodded and stared at the house that I was in. It was like a whole other world entirely. The floor was so shiny you could practically see yourself staring back from beneath your shoes. The walls had priceless paintings hung around, like they do in all those movies about rich people, nothing of interest but there nonetheless.

"Kurogane…" Fai began, staring at his face that stared back from the floor.

"Huh?" I replied looking at him. Yes, long bus travel made me so damn eloquent.

"Do you want to…" he shifted his gaze to me for a second before locking eyes with the floor again. "Go to my room?"

"Do you want me to go to your room?" I asked loving the sound of Fai's voice.

He nodded and led me to a huge marble staircase. The banister was polished silver and cold to the touch. I followed close behind him, scared that the immensity of the house would swallow him up before my eyes.

"Fai," a familiar voice from behind us spoke softly.

I turned around and saw a man. A very…elegant man. He had long hair that looked as if he had his own salon taking care of it every night before bed. He was striking. He looked like those types that could easily take command of a room in chaos.

"I'm so happy you're home," he greeted holding out one slender hand to Fai.

For the first time in my life I was totally mesmerized. I was stunned into speechlessness by what Fai did. He glided passed me, floating on the cold air around us. Slowly he placed his hand in the man's, almost robotically. His eyes seemed to glaze over as the man held his hand and then did something that I thought was weird (it must have been normal for Fai…he didn't even flinch). The man placed a small and quiet kiss on Fai's knuckles.

My face must have shown how shocked I was because the man then swept over to me like a fairy tale wizard.

"Kurogane," he put his hand out to me. "I am Ashura."

I took it, that feeling of wrongness bubbling up again, "Nice to meet you."

He pulled his hand back gently, "Please stay here as long as you want. We have enough room here and it's no problem for the man who brought my Fai back safe and sound."

Ashura spoke so strangely. Fai stood off to the side so quietly I was sure that his personality had been scooped out with a spoon. And I was starting to feel as if the air between the three of us was made out of syrup. Maybe it was the house.

"Thank you Ashura," I replied bowing through the thick air.

He fluttered to Fai's side and touched his hand gently. He started to speak in another language softly to him. When Fai looked up at him confused Ashura let out a sigh and started to speak in another language.

"_Does he know Japanese, then?" _he asked not even indicating to me.

Fai's eyes looked between Ashura and I. Then he opened his mouth and said a simple sentence that would actually cause a spiral of events to come.

"_No…He only speaks English…"_

* * *

"Fai-san!" a grown woman called from the entry way. "Fai-san!"

There were echoing footsteps as she came closer to us. When she finally reached the living room (where Ashura told Fai and I, after we both showered and changed into clean clothing, to stay while he finished up this and that before dinner) her cheeks were red and her face looked confused. She poked her head into the living room unassumingly. It wasn't until she walked up to Fai that I saw that she was carrying a cat in her arms.

"Sakura?!" I shouted when I saw her. It couldn't be…No. She lived in Florida!

The girl stared at me for a few long seconds before uttering a confused, "Huh?"

I sat back down, not realizing that I had stood, "Never mind…You just kinda look like some one I know. That's all."

"Oh?" the girl mumbled. "Umm…My name is Sakura."

I looked back up at her, "Kurogane." I stuck my hand out for her to shake it but she just bounced the cat in her arms to show me her hands were full.

"Fai," Sakura placed the cat on Fai's lap. "I tried taking care of Darla but she just wouldn't stop biting me."

"Really?" Fai asked scratching the cat behind the ears. "She's usually really nice."

Sakura pouted as Darla began to purr, "But she's only nice to you…"

"You knew he was going to run away?" I asked not really paying attention to my surroundings, only to the fact that this girl had the same name and face as Tomoyo's best friend. God that was weird.

"No," she shook her head and her auburn hair bounced to and fro. "He told me that his room was being fumigated."

I saw Fai unleash a smile to combat the sun.

"And you believed him…?"

Her wide eyes looked at me as if I were the one being unreasonably gullible.

"I don't know why I shouldn't have…" Sakura muttered wrapping her finger around her chin as she stared at the floor contemplatively. "I've known Fai since he moved in with Ashura."

At this point Fai stood up and walked out of the room. Perhaps it was wrong of me to question this girl in his absence…But who was I to listen to right and wrong lately?

"Moved in?" I didn't quite get that.

"Yes," she politely answered. "Fai was adopted by Ashura from some place in New York when he was five."

"New York…" I muttered letting the images of Watertown float passed my mind's eye.

"Mmhm," Sakura hummed watching her feet swing beneath the chair. "I was eleven at the time so I remember it really well. Even if he doesn't."

She smiled at me gently as if she was genuinely happy to have been with Fai for so long. She'd known him for many more years than I had (pft, not even a year) and I felt as if I could relate to her in every way.

"Have you tried to kiss him?" Sakura stared at me with pain in her eyes.

I nodded.

"Did he let you?"

I nodded, "Sometimes."

"Wow…" she whispered marveled by my one word answer. "Just don't…hurt him."

I looked at her curiously. I didn't get it…

"He's just been hurt before," Sakura explained clenching the fabric of her designer shirt. "And I don't want to see him go through that again."

"Who hurt him?" I asked feeling as if I already knew the answer somewhere within the recesses of my brain.

She shrugged, "I honestly have no idea but every so often he would make his way over to my house, limping and looking as if he was shattered."

Her chest heaved out a heavy breath, "Fai never did speak when he came over like that. But it was obvious."

I leaned back on the silken couch and let out a breath just as heavy as Sakura's had been. I was digging myself into this complex system of tunnels, hideaways and secrets, all in the name of what I felt for Fai.

Whatever that may be.

* * *

It seemed as soon as Ashura appeared on the scene Sakura wanted nothing more than to get going. She even bumped into the doorway a couple of times while saying good bye to Fai and to me. Before she left she shot me this fiercely protective look that made me feel as if she was passing on the responsibilities of taking care of Fai onto me. I'd been doing it for the passed…however many months/weeks. What was the difference?

"In honor of Fai's homecoming," Ashura's soft voice echoed through the cold corridors. "I've given the cook the day off and I've made a dinner for the three of us."

He sounded as if his excitement was a thick guise for something else. It wasn't annoyance...But maybe it was…anticipation?

For the sake of conversation I asked, "What did you make?"

Ashura turned more towards me, "Mashed potatoes, steaks and carrots."

There had been something that Fai said in one of our passed conversations. Something that I remember being so trivial and laughable at the time that sent shivers down my spine now for some reason. Gah, what was it?!

"_Why did you run away?"_

"_Because the mashed potatoes sucked…"_

Ah! That was it! But…why was that important now? Was he just kidding or was there some significance behind his stupid comment?

Ashura put his hand gracefully on Fai's shoulder and then put his other on mine and guided us into a massive dining room. A huge cheery wood table sat in the center and reflected the millions of mirrors and chandeliers that hung above it. There were decorative candles down the center of the table and our dinners were already out with silver covers over them. It was like eating at a fuckin' palace!

Ashura sat in the center seat, with Fai and I on either side of him. We mostly ate in silence but every now and then Ashura would lean over and ask me about our travels.

But when he leaned over to talk to Fai the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. He would mutter in Japanese with a smile on his face as if he was making pleasant conversation with Fai. In a foreign language. That he had been told I didn't know.

"_Did you kiss him?" _Ashura asked once not even glancing over at me.

"_Yes…" _and Fai told the truth.

"_You understand what that means, right?" _he asked straitening his back to take a sip of…something from his wine glass. It looked like water but reeked of vodka.

"Where was the last place you stopped Kurogane?" he directed conversation at me while Fai idly stared down his mashed potatoes, the last bit of the meal left on his plate.

"I don't really remember," I admitted watching Fai stab the offending potatoes over and over. I took a huge forkful of my own potatoes and shoveled them in my mouth only to be greeted by my not-so-sensitive gag reflex.

I wanted to spit them out. God they were awful! It was like I was being forced to eat moldy bread or something as equally detrimental to my health and sanity.

Fai wasn't kidding when he said the mashed potatoes sucked.

How did Ashura manga to fuck up mashed potatoes?!

I chugged my entire glass of water in one gulp, barely able to escape the taste of those God awful atrocities called mashed potatoes.

"Um," I muttered lifting my glass. "Can I go and get more water?"

"No need," he waved his hand in the air and a silent, balding man began to walk over to us from the wall where he'd been blending in so masterfully.

"No it's okay," I assured him. "I can get it."

I stood up and began to walk away when I heard the faint echo of Ashura muttering in Japanese.

"_Nine o'clock…" _

­­­­­­­

* * *

It was almost nine o'clock when I struck out from my room to find Fai's. I was told so far that Fai was towards the front of the mansion and that I was in the left wing. If I wanted to get there I would have to pass the library, dining room, kitchen and various guest rooms. Load of help these night people were. Yes, there were night people. Apparently they were the ones that cleaned up after the day people left or went to bed in one of the various and numerous extra rooms. The night people were security and cleaning.

"Do you know where Fai's room is?" I asked one guy in an expensive looking suit.

He eyed me up and then regarded me as safe with this information, "Go down this hallway, take a left passed the swan bathroom and he's the third door on the right."

"Swan bathroom?" I looked at him quizzically.

"You'll understand when you see it," he simply answered before settling into his stony position once more.

I began to walk according to the guys' directions, feeling as if I was being led by some unseen force that would take me right to Fai without the help of others. I felt as if I had to get there that instant, that if I didn't Fai might never come back to me. What could possibly cause him to do this though? The only thing that seemed to keep Fai from me was mental instability and my caring for him.

I almost passed by the infamous Swan Bathroom but instantly knew why it was called that. In the middle of the bathroom stood a grand sink with a giant swan carved out of ceramic as the top with its wings fully open as it turned its nose skyward.

"So that's why…" I muttered about to continue on my journey to Fai's room when I heard low cries of pain.

There was the sound of flesh meeting flesh in a violent way. I heard Fai beg for it to stop a second before I practically flew through hallway to end up throwing Fai's door open.

The sight I saw when my eyes let the red recede was one that would haunt me forever. Forever burned into my mind.

Ashura stood over Fai, who was fully naked and cowering in the corner of his huge bed. His hand was poised above his head, ready to strike when I charged into the darkened room.

"_Fai get dressed!" _I commanded in Japanese as I pushed Ashura away from him.

Paralyzed for mere seconds Fai stared up at me in terror before running off the bed and diving to the floor while Ashura regained his footing. I watched the man and noticed that not only was he swaying from offset equilibrium but also that his shirt was completely unbuttoned and his pants were undone.

"_God you're sick…" _I seethed as I covered Fai's movements.

Realization struck him hard in the face once he heard that I was speaking Japanese as well. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fai dash for the door in unfastened jeans and an unbuttoned shirt.

"_You said he didn't speak Japanese!" _He screamed enraged by the betrayal. How ironic.

Ashura made a grab for me but the alcohol I smelt on him no doubt knocked him off balance and instead of grabbing me he grabbed the doorframe and slid to finally hit his head on the wood.

I ran the same direction as Fai and finally caught up to him when we both bounded out the door into the mid-February night air. I grabbed his arm and he nearly punched me.

I pulled him into my chest and felt his heart racing a million miles an hour through my shirt, "I'm so sorry Fai…"

He shook his head out of my hands and looked into my eyes, his already spilling over from the shock of adrenaline and trauma, "We have to go Kurogane!"

"If we don't he'll find us!" he exclaimed shaking away from me to break into a run that I followed soon after only out of fear of loosing him again.

We ran in what seemed to be a random direction in the woods but with the way Fai was dodging the trees I knew that he knew exactly where we were going. I had a feeling I knew the same thing as well…

_End of Periods of Restlessness_

* * *

**A/N:**Yup...Finally Fai's past with Ashura is revealed. I tried to make it one of those things that you saw come up again and again through out the story but didn't quite get it until it was all unveiled. Some of you got me -cough-**TomoyoNyx**-cough-. But I'm happy that I remained ambiguous to others! This isn't something that many people talk about...so that was another veil I hid it behind, how taboo it is.

And to be quite honest with you guys, I wrote this story for my own benefit. Writing this story has helped me get over my own past, as strange as it seems. I was sexually and mentally abused by one of my boyfriends and even when I smiled I could see him in the back of my mind. I never fully recovered from it but since I've written this story little by little his images and words have faded away to reveal my true self again. So I'd like to thank each and every one of you for supporting me through out this story and I hope that you guys will continue to do so. -hugs all of you-

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"I knew her number by heart the only thing I had to do was call her. Ring, ring, ring...'Hello?' "Hello, it's Kurogane...I need help...'"_


	18. The Road to Recovery

**A/N: **Wow. You guys...I think I seriously was crying when I read all of those reviews. I'm so moved by each and every one of you. Thank you so much for supporting me through out this entire thing. Thank you for listening to my release, thank you for EVERYTHING! I hope you guys appriciate a speedy update!

And this chapter is dedicated to **thefanfictionalchemist!** I hope this brightens your day in light of your recent string of tragedies! Buck up love! Things will be better than before, before you know it!

**Summary: **A quick escape leads to a parental-like ally!

**Warnings: **Well for once I'd have to say SPOILERS (for those of you not totally caught up with xxxHolic...Ah I'm so happy I got to say that!)...Swearing (Well, a-dur.) and Shonen-Ai (Wake up and smell the yaoi!)

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 18**

Despite the fact that I trained my body quite often (had to be strong enough to beat kids up right?) my lungs burned with the work of this run. I felt like we were running to the ends of the Earth and it all had to be done in one night. For the sake of Fai's sanity I didn't mind sprinting through the woods in the dead of night.

In front of me I saw the random button up shirt that Fai grabbed flying behind him as he frantically ran through the trees and jumped over underbrush. I could see his face although I wasn't looking at him. I'd seen Fai desperate before but this was…much worse. I knew that he was looking around him as if Ashura could catch up to us now.

Behind me I heard a car driving slowly. I don't think that Fai heard it because he continued to run at a pace that would make a cheetah curse him. I grabbed Fai's arm and tackled him to the ground away from the road. That probably hadn't been the smartest of actions to take but if Ashura was already on the prowl we needed to play it safe! Fai tried to draw his body away from mine, his skin cold against my arms.

I turned Fai over and guided his hand to touch my face, "It's just me!" I whispered in a hushed and hurried tone while catching my breath, "Now keep it down, we can't draw attention to ourselves."

Fai held his hand there while I fastened the buttons on his shirt to make him more decent. He stroked my face, staring into my eyes adoringly. I zipped his pants up and ran my hand through his hair.

"Come on," I muttered taking his hand from my face.

He was vulnerable right now and as much as I wanted to kiss him and apologize again and again for being such an oblivious idiot, there were many more pressing things at hand. Like where we were going. It was obvious that we couldn't sleep outside in the middle of February in Michigan. That was like signing our own death certificates. Fai wiggled out from under me in the darkness and grabbed onto my bicep.

"I already knew where we were going to go when we left," he admitted pulling me to his feet with a hiss of pain. With the cold and fresh bruises no doubt Fai was hurting.

"Okay," I said trusting him enough to forego asking him where this safe house was. "Then we have to get further away from the road."

Fai led me about ten feet away from the main street and we began to walk, shoulder to shoulder in the cold. It was silent, even for a wooded area. The only sound was of our in sync footsteps crunching the thin layer of snow beneath us. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to say how sorry I was. How much I wished I wanted to go back in time to stop myself from making such a stupid choice.

But words seemed wrong right now.

All I could concentrate on was my own guilt and the sound of night as it passed between us.

"Stop," he finally said a few minutes later. "We're almost there but we have to make sure _he's _not here…"

Fai grabbed my hand and brought me closer to a couple of low shrubs that were bathed in pale light. We ducked behind them and Fai peered between two of them and frowned.

"He's not here…" he whispered, his breath flowing out in front of him. "Let's go."

He opted to crawl between the bushes while I just stepped over them. Fai led the way to the front door his face hanging delicately between a break down and complete numbness. I touched his fingers and he turned around to look at me for a moment in time that I froze in my head.

Fai's blue eyes stared right into me and said something that I never thought I'd get from him.

"_We'll be just fine…"_

And in a second he was headed back to towards the house. I followed only then realizing how orphaned we must have looked. Fai's hair was matted and wild and mine couldn't have been much better since we both ran the same distance. The both of us had to look crazy with the dark circles under our eyes, dirty clothing and breathing like we were on the run from the law.

"Fai!" Sakura screamed, appearing from nowhere while I had been thinking about our rough appearances. "Kurogane!"

She hugged Fai around the neck and ushered us both into the house quickly before scanning her property. In the far corner of the modest living room stood a man in a pair of pajama pants. He rubbed his auburn hair and grumbled tiredly.

"What happened?!" Sakura squealed leading us to her couches to sit down. She immediately pulled Fai into her arms again. "Do you need to stay here tonight?"

_No lady we ran here for the cardio! _My mind shouted as I bit this back thinking about how she had no idea what had happened and she was being kind. It wasn't my place to get angry with her.

"Please Sakura-san?" Fai pleaded looking up at her.

"Stay here for as long as you need to," she offered rocking him as if he were her own son, a part of her in fact.

"Mama…" a small voice mewled as if on cue with my thoughts.

We all turned around to see a small black haired boy peeking out from behind the man's legs. He could only have been five or so.

"Shaoran," Sakura said quietly as she smiled at her son. "Can you put Kimihiro back to bed for me?"

The man scooped Kimihiro up with a playful _whoosh _of air, "Come on big man! We have to get to sleep so we can help mommy out tomorrow!"

The small boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck and laughed, "Are we going to cook for her?" He whispered this as if Sakura couldn't hear and it was a surprise.

"You can bet on it," Shaoran promised disappearing into the hallway with Kimihiro.

"Please," Sakura began with a tired breath of air. "Stay with us until you figure out what to do."

Fai nodded against her shoulder and seemed to doze off as Sakura cooed kind words to him. Then she turned her eye towards me with a determined look that I thought best suited her.

"I'm not going to let Ashura find him…" she swore stroking Fai's hair.

"Thank you," I accepted her protection realizing that perhaps being strong meant being able to allow the kindness of others save you.

* * *

Sakura let both of us shower and had fresh clothes waiting for us.

"_I know my husband is small, but it's all we have," _she had said when I held up a shirt that looked like it would break if I thought about wearing it.

Fortunately they had a big guest room. Unfortunately for us there was only one bed. Because of Fai's bruises and trauma I figured it wasn't a good idea to sleep on the same bed as him.

"I'll take the floor," I informed him with no room for argument.

He smiled at me fragilely. I put my hand on the top of his head and felt his wet hair slide between my fingers.

"You don't have to smile for my sake," I whispered watching his eyes debate.

Fai nodded, "I know…"

I took my hand from his head and set up a small bed on the floor with the extra blankets that Sakura had pointed me to earlier.

"Kuro-tan…" Fai whispered from under his blanket. "I'm sorry for everything."

I slid in between the blankets of my bed and the blanket I was using for warmth, "Shut up."

Fai looked at me as if I'd committed the biggest sin since crucifying Jesus, "How dare-"

"You know damn well it's not your fault, Fai," I muttered feeling angry.

There was another moment of silence in the dark that separated us. I heard him shift this way and that way under his comforter but like me he didn't offer conversation. The night settled around us and I was tired and unable to sleep despite this. I felt my body cry for sleep an hour later and still I hadn't slept for a second.

"Kuro-rin?" Fai whispered through the darkness.

I grumbled and turned to face him. Even if I couldn't see him in the thick blanket of night I could at least feel closer to him. I felt his hand grope at my covers from his low set bed. Slowly my hand crept up to meet his in perfect timing.

Fai took in a deep breath, almost as if he'd been holding it the entire time he'd been searching for my hand, "Thank you…"

"It's nothing…" I told him squeezing his hand feeling more and more relieved that he was by my side. "Because…"

His hand jerked slightly as the springs in the bed gave away his movements. He sat up and I could feel those blue eyes staring at me through the abyss. I shifted to accommodate for his new position.

"Because what?" he asked his eyes watching the blackness that encompassed my body.

My mind went blank. What was I going to say?

"Because…?" Fai repeated with a smirk in his voice.

"Because," I muttered. "I said so."

"That's not a reason at all Kuro-myuu…" he reminded me as his index finger danced on the back of my hand. "Now tell me how that sentence finishes."

"No," I replied gruffly as I tried yanking my hand from Fai's.

He pulled back just as hard to keep our hands locked, "I forgot how cute you are!"

"Oh shut up," I ordered before Fai began to kiss the back of my hand.

"However that sentence finishes Kuro-rin…" He began as tears touched my skin. "I'm sure I feel the same way…"

I'm sure we fell asleep like that.

Our hands locked and the words behind our strange and rushed bond still hidden away by my pride.

* * *

There was a lot of mumbling in the background of my sleep. And then there was sun burning my eyes from their sockets. Oh God. Some one had opened the curtains!

"Rise and shine!" Fai yelled, his feet next to my head.

"Fuck you," I replied covering my head with a pink pillow.

Fai gasped and tugged at the pillow, "Little Kimihiro is working so hard on breakfast and you're going to repay his kindness like this?"

It was all an act. Fai would've been just fine with me sleeping in while he ate normally. But ever since the skating rink incident, nothing would go back to what it 'normally' would've been. I glared at him through a small slit between the floor and my pillow.

"Don't be so grumpy," he chided smacking the top of my pillow. Then he whispered, "You'll scare Sakura."

I couldn't help but laugh at this. That look she gave me last night when she swore to protect the two of us said otherwise. Fai took this time to take the pillow right from under my hands.

"Come on!" Fai called out pushing me around on my makeshift bed. "Breakfast will be done soon."

I finally sat up and was smacked in the face with a pair of jeans, "Here. I asked Sakura to go and buy us some clothes. Luckily the pants I grabbed were the ones with money in them!"

"Fai…" I started. "I left my wallet in his house."

He stared at me blankly, blinking out of necessity. Then he tossed a black shirt at me and went back to the crinkling plastic bag that held yet more clothing. This was his way of saying that we'd figure it out. Somehow.

* * *

I hit the soft buttons of Sakura's classic-style phone. I didn't even need the letter Tomoyo gave me to dial the number. I'd already memorized it.

What would I say to her? _Ring!_

How would we get out of this? _Ring!_

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"Hello?" she finally picked up.

"Tomoyo?" I asked not recognizing her voice.

"Who else would it be?" Tomoyo replied with a giggle. "It's been a long time Youou!"

"Yeah, it has," I missed her.

"So what are you calling for?" she questioned and I could see my cousin putting her hand on her hip as she said this. "Normally you call if you're in the principal's office or to get me to take you somewhere in the middle of school. Since you're not even enrolled in school it can't be those two…What could it be?"

I laughed under my breath at her, she never changed. When Fai sauntered passed me with Kimihiro dancing not too far behind him I remembered why I had called in the first place.

"Tomoyo…" I started swallowing my pride. "I need help."

There was a pause on the other end; she must've been looking at the phone.

"Am I still talking to Youou?" she inquired sarcastically.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. "Can you help me Tomoyo? I really am in trouble here and…"

It was my turn to pause. "And I need your help for me and Fai…"

"Fai?!" she sounded excited. "Who's Fai?!"

I could envision her perfectly. At that moment no doubt her eyes had that glimmer and she was clutching the phone as if it were the most beautiful invention of our time. Sometimes I had to question her sanity…

"Fai is…" I began unsure of how to finish that statement. What was he really to me?

"His boyfriend," Fai said into the receiver.

"_Boyfriend_?!" Tomoyo screeched happily. "I _have_ to meet him!"

"So, Tomoyo," I began as her joy began to die down. "Will you help the both of us?"

"No problem," she promised soberly. "But first I need to know what kind of trouble you're in so that I know how to help…"

_End of The Road to Recovery_

* * *

**A/N: **In case some of you don't read xxxHolic, this Sakura is not the one for TRC but (technically) the one from Cardcaptor Sakura! And since I was asked I'll answer. I've been dealing with the weight of abuse since my freshman year, when it started, and I'm about to graduate from High school. No, I left the guy when he started to yell at my sisters. You can hurt me all you want, I can take it. But you NEVER hurt my sisters if you want to live to tell it. I am with a guy who treats me like a princess and holds me despite my spotty past. He is the one I love and I know that he's strong enough to take whatever I dish out.

I hope that answered your questions! I'll get around to replying to the reviews but I wanted to give you guys this since you guys showed me unmatched kindness. Again, thank you for all that you guys have done!

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"...Fai readjusted his sun glasses. "You don't have to wear those," I told him as we waited for our seat numbers to be called for boarding. "Oh yes I do!" he told me looking at me through the tint. "We're going to Florida, the sunshine state." I rolled my eyes, happy to have his unusual antics back..."_


	19. The Smiles of Fate

**A/N: **HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! Sorry it's early but I don't think I'll have time tomorrow to post this or write up a new chapter in honor of the holiday! So here's a Pre-Valentine's Day chapter! I hope you guys like it. I really appriciate all of the lovely reviews but between all of the Seinor things going on at my school and this stuff I have to deal with I haven't found much time to reply. I will try my damndest to reply to them all!!! So just be paitent with me! I am going to try hard! I love you all! You guys keep me going THANK YOU!

**Summary: **In which Kuro-tan has to wonder if Fai is really Fai anymore...

**Warnings: **You mean besides what I'm famous for? ...Swearing (Right...You get it right?)...Shonen-Ai (It wouldn't be art if there wasn't BL though...-shakes head-) and a healthy dose of Motherly Love! (It's just too cute!!! -hugs CCS Sakura-)

* * *

**Chapter 19**

"_I can help with the wallet," Tomoyo said her mind already scheming. "I will call you with the details once I've got them worked out. And Souma's already working on blacking all of your credit card transactions from being viewed online. Give me Fai's credit card number and she can do the same for him."_

_They were already twenty steps ahead of myself and Fai, and we were in the middle of this hurricane! _

* * *

We watched the trees pass us as Sakura's car sped towards Ashura's home. Tomoyo had called me right before her plan was set into action. She told me to wait fifteen minutes after the call to go over there. Apparently she'd managed to lure Ashura as well as his security away from the premises. She didn't offer any specifics so I didn't ask for them.

If there was one thing I knew about Tomoyo, besides that she wanted to cloth the nation in lace, it was that she knew how to scheme. Her plans were always so well orchestrated that she had to have been a war general in her previous life. It was the only explanation.

"Did we really run all this way?" I asked as the car hit minor bumps in the road.

"No," Fai replied bouncing with the condition of the road. "We walked most of it."

That feeling of wanting to strangle him arose in me and I realized that I liked feeling like that. It meant that Fai was being his sarcastic, smart-ass self again. I shook my head at him and felt a small smile on my face as I did so.

"Remember," I began. "She said we'd have a little over and hour to get the wallet and get out."

Fai nodded, "What about the maids?"

I shrugged unsure of how we'd handle that stint, "Tomoyo said that we had to figure out things like that. She got Security and Ashura out of there, the rest is up to us."

Sakura pulled into the white gravel drive way and stopped, "Good luck, boys. I'll be out here waiting for you."

She reached back and squeezed Fai's shoulder. Then she patted my face in that motherly way that made you _want_ to spill your guts to her. I unbuckled my seat belt and the two of us hopped out of the car.

"Are you ready for this?" Fai asked me reaching for my hand to grasp out of nervousness.

I nodded, my resolution firm. There was only one way we'd be able to get to Tomoyo and that was by getting my wallet. Not only did it have my credit card, state I.D. and driver's license. It also had all of Fai's vital identification.

Fai pushed the door open and immediately a mousey maid crossed our path. I was positive she saw us. For a second she paused in her steps but then she continued on as if we were figments of her imagination. I heard the gears in Fai's head turning as the girl disappeared.

"What was that about?" Fai asked me as if I was the one who lived in this house for years and years.

"How the hell should I know?" I whispered harshly. "She's_ your_ maid."

"Actually…" he began in his smart-ass attitude.

"Shut up," I ordered as I started to walk forward. "Let's just get my wallet and get out."

Fai silently agreed by walking with me. We found my room without much trouble from the maids or complex layout of the house (_mansion_). My wallet was right where I left it last night, on the dresser in the guest room.

"Isn't that a little weird?" I wondered picking it up and inspecting it for our vitals.

"Hmmm?" he hummed turning to me.

I waved my wallet at him slightly, "It was in the same place. Don't you have infinite maids cleaning at once? You'd think that one of them would turn this in to Ashura."

Fai thought about this for a second, "I don't know. But should we really question a miracle, Kuro-tan?"

"Maybe not," I agreed shrugging as I pocketed my once missing item. "Come on, let's get going."

Fai nodded and we made our not-so difficult escape right out the front door. There wasn't a single maid in sight. The idea of foul play was still making shivers roll up my spine.

"Meow!" a cry from the side of the house.

Darla jetted to Fai's side and nuzzled his leg. Fai petted her affectionately. Then he picked her up and we climbed into Sakura's car.

"Did you get it?" she asked excitedly.

_Why else would we be here? _

"Yeah," Fai answered, saving me from saying something mean to our sweet savior. "What time did Tomoyo say our flight was leaving?"

"It'll be leaving for Detroit in four hours," Sakura replied cheerily. "Then from there you guys will only have thirty minutes to get to your next gate."

Fai's mind was already memorizing these times and placing them in his immediately knowledge bank for easy access.

"She said I sounded like some one she knew," Sakura began in a tone that was obviously confused.

Sounded like Tomoyo for sure.

"Then she asked me what my measurements were," the woman finished looking even more baffled than before. "So she could make me a dress as thanks for taking you in, Kurogane."

Yup. That was here.

"Who gives dresses as thanks?" She didn't seem offended, just confused as to what the small heiress could be thinking.

It was possible to explain this all away in one word. And for once it wasn't Fai's name that did that.

"Tomoyo."

* * *

"Take those off," I growled at Fai. "You look ridiculous."

Fai lifted his eye brow and stared at me, "I shouldn't have to take them off. In fact, you should be wearing yours. We are going to Florida after all, the Sunshine State!"

As if I didn't know.

"Like hell I will," I turned over the atrocity in my hands and then threw them back at Fai.

Couldn't he at least pretend to be low-key? Seriously. We were running from his crazy foster father, you'd think he might have a bit more knowledge about hiding out and blending in. He had, after all, evaded Ashura for nearly a whole year before he was forcibly taken back by me.

But no. This wasn't the case at all. Fai was the exact opposite of inconspicuous! With just his looks alone he could be spotted a mile away.

Especially when he's wearing bright aqua cat-eye framed sun glasses.

Why me?

I felt Fai situate my ridiculously large red, square framed sun glasses on the top of my head. I settled for scowling and letting the glasses rest on my head for now. Fai clapped his hands together and wiggled around in his seat. It had been almost an hour since Sakura dropped us off with a piece of paper with her number shoved into my hands and tears in her eyes as she hugged Fai tightly into her chest with enough hug left for me afterwards. We also checked Darla in to the flight; she was not pleased to be in a kennel…At all.

Next to me Fai giggled.

"What?" I asked raising one eyebrow at him.

"Nothing…" he sighed covering his soft laughter with his hand. "It's just funny…"

I waited for him to continue. He just sat there laughing contentedly at himself. When he saw that I was watching he looked up at me inquisitively.

"Yes?" Fai said in a voice that said sarcasm was on the horizon.

"Aren't you going to tell me what's so funny?" My sunglasses wobbled on my head.

"You didn't ask," he pointed out with his usual broad smile. "How was I supposed to know you wanted to know?"

I shook my head and my sun glasses fell off onto my lap.

"You're insane," I muttered as Fai placed my glasses on the top of my head once again. "Now, what were you laughing about?"

"Just," He began with a dreamy sigh. "It's just that…I kinda feel like I've been forgiven. That's all."

I stared at him confusedly, "Continue."

Fai's eyes got big in surprise, and then he calmed down, "Umm…Just that…It's like being freed. Something in me…is relieved. Laughing is all I can do at this moment."

I reached behind his head and slowed my hand when he flinched. He relaxed after he realized that it was just me and that there was no way in Hell or on Earth that I'd hurt him like that. I cupped the back of Fai's head and leaned in to make our foreheads touch.

"No one's ever thought that you needed to be forgiven, Fai," I told him seriously.

He shook his head out of my grasp and rested his head in his hands silently as people milled passed us in no rush to get on a giant metal bird. Fai sat like that for a while. Just staring off and smiling gently to himself. Eventually he pushed his sun glasses up to rest on his head, like mine and turned his gaze to me.

"Thank you Kuro-chuu," he said in a grateful way. "I think that if maybe I can get over everything I'd like to fall in love with you."

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

All I could do was sit there and gape at him stupidly while my mind tried hopelessly to grasp what he just said.

There was no way that the Fai that I knew would admit something like that. Had our trip to Saginaw really changed him that much?

He placed his aqua glasses on the bridge of his nose once more and then continued to watch as people unhurriedly walked to and fro.

I on the other hand, spent the rest of the time sitting there with my mouth open like an idiot, not really comprehending what just happened.

_End of The Smiles of Fate_

* * *

**A/N: **I know this chapter is inexcusibly short...but there was so much I wanted to put in there that I couldn't! Mostly b/c it was from Ashura's POV...Maybe I'll write some extra chapters that didn't quite make it into the story for this reason and that one after it's all over. No songs, but the next chapter should have songs. And that last bit with Fai...I have a feeling that that is my Valentine's spirit coming out. I'm actually excited for this year's Valentine's Day!!! *gives all reviewers past and present chocolates and flowers and puppies* Hope you like em!

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"...'Kurogane!' was hsouted and then I was being held in place by an iron grip hug from my cousin. 'And Fai!' she exclaimed letting me go immediately to latch onto Fai. 'You told me he was a smart-ass stick, Kurogane,' Tomoyo recalled scowling at me playfully. Fai glanced over at me as if I was in the dog house for this comment. 'I was so worried about what to make you,' she held the sides of her face dramatically. 'But I'm so glad to see that you're not really a stick. I have so many ideas...' Her eyes got this glint in them and I knew that Fai was done for. There was no stopping Tomoyo once she got started..."_


	20. Even Angels

**A/N: **ARGH! My computer got a virus!!! -le sob- That's why this chapter was so slow coming out. I had to type it up on the site on one of my old documents. So yeah...I hope you guys like it. Thanks for being so paitent!! Can you believe we actually made it this far? All the way to _**chapter 20?!**_

On a side note: NATSUO WON!!! A whole month w/o Yaoi/Yuri/Shonen-ai/Shoujo-Ai!!! I personally wouldn't have been able to make it...I would have cheated sooooooo badly but she DIDN'T!!! -throws confettii- -cuts cake for all reviewers and Natsuo- I am soooo proud of her! Thanks to her this chapter is up! Finally I got her input on a chapter!!! -hugs her tightly-

**Summary: **_Tomoyo's not an easy one to prepare for..._

**Warnings: **Well, the basic, ya know? Swearing (That's right I'm talkin' to you!)...Shonen-Ai (AHHH!!!)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 20

The air plane jerked this way and that way and jerked me out of my sleep. Already a headaching was mounting a formal attack on my logical thought just behind my eyes. This was why I chose to ride around the country on buses. Not on air planes. Yeah they were faster. And maybe a bit more practical. But they were noisy, annoying and completely out of my control.

The only semblence of solace I had was in the boy who sat next to me. Fai's head lulled back and forth as he dozed off, yet again. I nudged him and he woke with a start. After seeing that it was just me he smiled and offered me one of his fallen headphones. I didn't have the chance to take it because whether or not I even _wanted _to listen to Fai's strange music he would have made me. He shoved it into my ear and invited me into his world once more.

_"You found hope. You found faith, found how fast she could take it away..."_ I watched as Fai drummed out the beat sleepily on his leg.

_"Found true love, lost your heart. Now you don't know who you are..." _He mouthed the words silently, his expression reading as if he were the one to compose this song. As if it said something that important to him.

I reached over the short distance and chased his elbow off of the arm rest. When he looked at me indignantly I ignored him and just pushed the arm rest up to clear the obstruction between us. Fai's face lit up immediately and without wasting a second he placed his head on my shoulder. I don't know what had gotten into me in that moment but I was the one to join our hands in our shared space as Fai's head found the place my shoulder had carved for him many states ago.

Not for the first time since Fai assalted me in our hotel room did I want to kiss him. He looked so much more alive. It was like all of the life he'd been hiding away came forward once we got out of Ashura's house. I wanted to kiss him.

But I didn't. Some part of me was able to restrain myself. I kept chanting in my head _'wait for him to come to you, wait for him to come to you, wait for him...'_ And it worked. As badly as I wanted to grab Fai by the face and kiss him until he was convinced that I would never hurt him, my need to see him healed completely outweighed my own desires.

_"Even angels fall..." _

If I waited for him the chances of him falling in love with me, like he wanted to, were a lot greater than if I persisted (no, I'd probably be hit again if I badgered him). I wanted him to love me because...I was undeniably in love with him. Every broken, smiling piece of Fai.

* * *

"Hey Kuro-myuu?" Fai asked as we wondered around our exit gate looking for Tomoyo among the many faces.

I grunted still searching.

"Is Tomoyo-chan short?" he wondered, out of what I assumed to be curiosity.

"Yeah," I grunted scanning the crowd. "She's only sixteen."

"And does she have long black hair?"

"Yeah."

"Does she usually have a video camera strapped to her hand?"

"Okay, how in the hell would you know that?!" I snapped finally looking at Fai.

"Because she's standing right there," Fai indicated towards the arrival/departure boards and sure enough my cousin stood there, in all her self made fashion iconic glory.

I gaped at him as he unashmedly gloated over being the winner of 'Spot the Tomoyo'. I glowered at him.

"Shut up."

He continued to smile as we made our way to her. But soon his smile fell. The closer we got the more intense Fai seemed. First he was playing with his hands, twisting them into what looked like very painful knots. Then he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. I brushed him off but he just snaked his fingers around mine and nervously shook as we got closer.

No way...

"Fai are you nervous about meeting Tomoyo?" I questioned feeling the full shock of my words fall around us.

"Of course not" he countered too quickly to be true.

"Don't worry," I attempted to soothe him, uncharacteristically. "She'll love-"

"Kurogane!" Tomoyo cut in excitedly after spotting us. "You're finally here!"

She ran to us and circled her arms tightly around my neck, her camera knocked the back of my head, "Oh how I've missed you!"

I patted her back softly and I heard her gasp in shock. With good reason too. She pushed me aside with a split second of a look that said that we would talk later on about my 'hugging' her back. Tomoyo stared at Fai with her wide brown eyes. I could tell that her mind was already formulating ten different outfits for his body type, eye color, hair texture and shoe size. Fai shifted unsure of what to make of Tomoyo's sudden interest in him.

"Hi," he greeted waving nervously as Tomoyo continued to stare at him with curiosity on her face.

Tomoyo clapped her hands in front of her face once, "God I am so happy that Kurogane described you so horribly! He told me you were an annoying stick of a man. God am I happy to see that you're not a stick at all! You're a person! A real person! I just have to dress you as soon as we get home! We need to take measurements..."

And she went on like that for several minutes while Fai stood there in shock of my cousin. Her eyes glittered and sparkled as she spoke of dressing him up in beautiful pale blues and rich cobalts. Though she lost the both of us after a few seconds into her little speech she still continued.

"So she's going to sew as soon as we get home?" a voice next to me asked out of the silence that used to be there.

"Gah!" I shouted not realizing that Souma had been standing next to me.

"Keep it down," she ordered half sternly and half gently. She must have been as tired as us. Keeping up with Tomoyo _and _Kendappa was a job that God himself found exhausting. "You should've expected this. You were the one to bring him home."

"I know," I sighed wondeing if Fai were to warm up and talk to Tomoyo like she was talking to him would cause the world to explode. "But can you ever really prepare yourself for Tomoyo?" I swear I saw a tape measure streak across the distance between Fai and Tomoyo. But that would be crazy. I was just tired. _Really tired. _

Souma shook her head, "Not really. I just hope you don't leave him alone too long. Tomoyo will have her fun if you do."

Keep tabs on Fai. That was the only way to ensure his sanity, not that it was entierly there to begin with. Souma walked over to Tomoyo, stooped down and whispered something in her ear. Tomoyo nodded excitedly and I could only guess what had been said between them. Fai watched with little interest since his brain was no doubt recovering from being fried by Tomoyo's swift talk of palying dress up with him.

"Come on Fai-chan," Tomoyo offered her petitie hand to him. "We're going home now."

"Home?" he asked taking her hand apprehensively.

"Yes," she assured him with an affectionate squeeze. "It's your home now as well."

Fai's eyes trembled for a second before his face spilt into a delicate smile that teetered on astonishment.

I brushed my hand against the back of Fai's palm and I could see that his eyes glistened with tears as Tomoyo led him out of the air port and into his new life. He mouthed the words 'Thank you' as he was being taken away into a new world where fathers kept their hands to themselves and women ruled the house with a gloved fist and fashions that made no sense except to those who apraised it.

* * *

Of course as soon as we hit home Tomoyo began to chat excitedly about this and that and if Fai would look good in Noble's clothing. We just followed her up the two steps that led her into a house that would be deemed modest for hers and Kendappa's combined incomes.

"This is your house?" Fai asked touching the roughly textured exterior.

I nodded. It wasn't anything like Fai's. If I could guess, it was the exact opposite of Fai's. Ashura's house had that Ice Castle feel to it, like it was bathed in freezing water everyday before guests arrived, and everything was either blue, silver or marble. Tomoyo's house on the other hand was Spanish style. The outside was a bright orange-y color and rough to the touch. For me it had always been warm inside and out and it reflected the owners quite nicely.

Kendappa and Tomoyo (as well as Souma for that matter) where what they described as 'anachronisms'. Pretty much they believed that they were born in the wrong time period. It showed brightly through in Tomoyo's clothes, Kendappa's timeless face and Souma's array of useless old world talents (like being able to disappear and reappear within the stretch of one conversation for example). None of them were hispanic but in St. Petersberg houses were either too plain, on the highway or Mesa-style. Obviously they went for the last type of house.

"Yup," I replied walking up behind Fai and placing my hand not too far from his. "This is home."

"Wow..." he sighed in a hitched breath. "It's amazing Kuro-sama."

"Wait till you see inside," I promised grabbing his hand and leading him trough the glass door, the wodden door and the high arched entry way.

I showed him the living room, a lavish Middle Ages Europe theme. Then the hallway, masquerade complete with glass masks. Next was the kitchen, French, if you expected any different. And then finally the upstairs. Upon climbing the stairs, which was an homage to Tomoyo's early sketches, photos of various runways Kendappa had graced and different and unusual fabrics they found during their travels, I heard Fai make sounds of admiriation.

"Why didn't you tell me she was a fashion designer?" Fai asked running his hand along a sequined top that hung close to the landing. "I wouldn't have stared at her so awkwardly at the air port if I knew!"

I laughed, "Trust me, it wouldn't have helped."

Once we reached the upstairs I heard Fai gasp behind me. Crawling across the wall that greeted you after your journey was a painting of a cherry blossome tree in full bloom (painted by Souma of course). The realism in it was so remarkable that Fai stumbled slightly as he went to touch the soft petals. I put my hands on his shoulders to steady him. As most people, Fai was disappointed as well as amazed that his fingertips didn't meet real petals.

He rolled air between his fingertips dejectedly. I placed my hand over his gently and he looked up at me, startled by this. For a long moment I just stared at him, discerning the difference between how I felt then and how I felt for him prior to Ashura. It was strange...

Before all of the drama Fai made my chest twist with confusion and now...Now all I could do was admire him. I felt at ease and as if I could stay like that with him forever, standing beside a beautiful scene of when summer blooms. Fai elevated himself by standing on the tips of his toes.

His cheek brushed mine and I felt my breath stop for an instant, "I want to see your room..." he whispered innocently in my ear.

Unable to do anything but what he asked of me I guided him to my room. It wasn't as splendid as the rest of the house (mostly because Tomoyo hadn't gotten to decorate it despite her efforts), in fact there were still a few boxes in the corner of my room. Instantly Fai broke away from me and began to explore my room. First he laid on my bed, which sat low in the center of the room and not a second later did he begin to run his fingers over the vaious swords and posters that hung on my wall. Then he stood over by my window and smiled as the sinking sun danced across his hair and face.

* * *

Dinner passed with only a few words of how Tomoyo was going to dress Fai up. I shuddered at the word 'ribbon' many times. Tomoyo only got more excited as dinner drew closer and closer to the end. Then, before I could grab him, she swept Fai away in a flurry of fabrics to take his measurements. Souma only laughed and shook her head as she gathered the plates up. I helped her, since I had nothing better to do.

In the hours without Fai I unpacked the stuff I had brought with me on the journey. When he still wasn't released from Tomoyo's creative clutches I worked on the boxes in the corner of my room. When Fai was _still _AWOL I decided to go looking for him. I had just gotten used to Fai not being mad at me, or trying to molest me, I wanted to spend time with him. Even if I couldn't kiss him or hold him like I wanted to, I still wanted to be around him.

My hand was ready to knock on Tomoyo's sewing room when I heard her voice whispering softly beyond door. She sounded like she was in therapist mode so I stood there.

_"...You know he'd never..."_

Then Fai's voice mixed in, _"I know...just I'm..."_

I was surprised to hear him talking at all. For some reason it didn't click in my head that maybe Fai would go back to who he was once he was placed in a home different from Ashura's house. I leaned my head against the door frame and listened to the few words I could before going back to my room. I flicked the lights off and sat on my bed the darkness, watching the ceiling for entertainment.

The moon was already high in the sky when I heard a knock at my door. It was soft and I probably wouldn't have heard it if I hadn't been so concentrated on absolutely nothing. I got up to answer it when another knock came. When I opened the door I saw Fai standing there in a pair of pajamas I hadn't seen him in before. Probably Tomoyo's doing.

"I...uh-well I..." he was stuttering. And blushing.

And blushing...

I rested against the door frame, "What?"

Fai laughed a little, "I feel a little strange asking you this since it was kinda normal before..."

He looked at me, hoping I'd get the hint. I didn't. In fact I was a little startled by what he was saying.

Fai saw this and tried to explain, "Well, wh-what I mean is..." He took in a deep breath as my mind tried to comprehend what he was asking me. "I was trying to sleep and..." his voice came out in a whisper suddenly. "...Can I sleep with you...?"

I felt my mind recoil, "What?"

"Um...Can I...Sleep with you...?" he repeated in an uncharacteristically shy voice.

He was asking me. Never had he asked me much of anything when it came to what he could and couldn't do in regards to me. But he was asking me.

All of a sudden the balance felt...well balanced. Like we finally reached a point where we were equals.

I moved aside to let him in. When he hesitated I urged him on, "Aren't you coming in?"

Fai's lips formed a smile as he bounced into my room. I muttered, "Pain in my ass," behind him.

In the darkness I could still see his smile, barely lit by the moon. He stood in front of me, a thin wall of Fai between me and my bed. I tried to move passed him but he just moved with me.

"Okay asshole," I began as I put my hands on his shoulders. "What's the problem?"

Fai shook his head and wrapped his arms around my neck, "This is payback...Kuro-sama..."

Then he kissed me in the still curtain of night.

_End of Even Angels_

* * *

**_A/N: _**Sooooo...how was it? I've always been a sucker for the Fai-punching-Kuro scene in the manga. I had to have it. I hope that it doesn't seem out of place. Or rushed or anything. I guess my computer getting a virus was a blessing in disguise. Seriously I would have tore up the original copy of this chapter...ya know, if it was on paper and not on a computer screen...-shifty eyes- Oh yes and the song in this chapter is _Even Angels Fall by: Jessica Riddle. _Personally I think the song fits Seishirou and Subaru the best but I love it so much I kinda had to include it.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"...Tomoyo smoothed her skirt out after lowering herself to her chair, 'Have you learned what it means to be strong?' I braced my hands on my knees and laughed quietly as I shook my head, 'I have no clue...'"_


	21. The Best Medicine

**A/N: **No internet and all school makes RIn a dull girl. lol. J/k. But I seriously had NO INTERNET. I was about to start clawing the paint off the walls when I found a way around that. XD Well really my sister's boyfriend found it but whatever. So I felt the need to make this chapter like twice the length of a normal chapter (normal= 2,000+ words, this one= 4,000+ words!). You guys wouldn't believe how horrible I felt not being able to update for you guys. But the upside is you got this mega-long chapter from me! So...you take the good with the bad, eh? Thanks for being paitent and I hope you guys still wanna read this story!

**Summary: **_In which Fai and Kuro-tan have some much needed conversations..._

**Warnings: **(I can't believe I have to put this...) OOC-ness! (I hope you will forgive me for it/understand why it must been that way!), Swearing (Yeah yeah, I have a filthy mouth so that transfers...), Shonen-Ai (makes the world go round) and...crossdressing (AHHH!!! -runs into wall- I just love it...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 21

For a second I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening.

It was impossible. Mostly because the Fai I knew would have already pushed me away with his face red and his eyes betraying his intentions. But this Fai...Oh this Fai. He was kissing me like he had always meant to get around to it but never quite did. His hands were running through my hair roughly and he was pressing his body into mine.

This couldn't have been Fai.

I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away from me lightly. He went without a fuss and smiled when he was situated on his own level. I ran my hand through my hair to calm down. Fai peered at me curiously without a word.

I looked at him, "Are you really Fai?"

He nodded and laughed at me, "Absolutely. I'm sure of it."

"B-but Fai," my mind was so warped from this I was _stuttering! _"What happened?"

Fai gave himself permission to sit on my bed, "It was Tomoyo, I guess." He shruged and picked at the green blanket beneath his body.

"Tomoyo?" I asked kneeling down next to him. "What does she have to do with this?"

His blue eyes turned to me, "She was the one who told me that the world would move forward with or without me. I guess it kinda...You know? Made me realize that you would also move ahead. I didn't want to," he rubbed his arm shyly because of what he was saying. "Lose you..."

I shook my head. For as brilliant as Fai was he could be such an idiot. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him softly. Had I been some one of more words I probably would have told him, _"I won't move ahead without you..."_ But I wasn't and that kiss seemed to assure Fai of my thoughts of him. He leaned into me and kissed me back.

He guided our bodies down to my bed and broke the kiss, "Kuro-sama?"

"What?" I snapped feeling slightly frustrated by Fai.

"Hold me?" he looked so...needy.

That being said, all I could do was wrap my arms around him and fall asleep.

I dreamt about Fai smiling at me, mouthing something that I couldn't hear. When I asked him to repeat himself he walked towards me and licked my nose, and licked my nose again.

When I opened my eyes I was greeted with a scolding meow. I blinked. Darla, in all her calico annoyance, was standing on my chest and licking my nose with her sandpaper tongue. I brushed her aside as much as she protested it and looked for Fai. All that was left in my room of Fai was a blue glove, a white shirt and a mosaic of socks in a messy pile on the floor. Darla looked up at me and meowed again. I picked her up and walked out of the room.

I dropped her outside of my room and searched the house for Fai. He wasn't outside on the porch. Not in the back yard. And he wasn't in the kichen.

After fifteen minutes of scouting I knocked on my Tomoyo's door. I heard Fai's voice beyond it and then Tomoyo telling him to hide.

"If you're Kurogane," she warned. "You _cannot _come in!"

"Yet!" Fai added happily.

I rolled my eyes and turned the knob to open the door. Or at least I tried. The damn door was locked! But then...why would Tomoyo tell him to hide? That just didn't make any sense. Even for Fai and Tomoyo.

* * *

Instead of stalking Tomoyo's studio I sat in the kitchen (which was across from it...) and waited silently for them to come out. But Darla didn't help when she came out and jumped on the counter, begging for attention. God, she seriously needed to bug her owner. This whole meowing me a musical was giving me a headache. And not only did she meow persistently at me but she also liked to bite me while I was giving her attention! What kind of cat does that?!

"Oh Kuro-sama!" Fai called to me with his head sticking out of Tomoyo's studio. I grumbled. "Could you come here for a second?"

"I_ could_," I replied sarcastically as I stood up to meet him.

Fai smiled at me broadly and his head disappeared behind the white wooden door. I sighed and closed my eyes, wondering what it could be. Well...it was obvious it had to do with clothing. But, what exactly could Tomoyo dress him up in? I mean he looked just fine in his usual medium shirt and jeans. He didn't need fancy clothing to look amazing...Or so I'd heard.

I felt myself blush as I thought about this. Never. Never. Never would I have thought this about anyone else BUT Fai.

God he confused me.

"Aren't you going to look?" Tomoyo asked me with that excitement in her voice.

I felt myself fall back into reality. My eyes wondered up to see Fai's white-socked feet...Wait...Those weren't socks.

They were stockings!

And they had satin baby blue bows tied around them!

Oh God.

Was that a skirt?

A dress...?

Fai was standing before me in a soft blue sweet lolita style dress. It had the frills. It had the bows. It had the ribbons. And Fai was wearing it.

And there was a headband. One of those lacy maid-esque ones! Oh God.

"What are you wearing?" I asked slowly hoping that my voice didn't sound too shocked.

"Tomoyo made it for me!" Fai answered as he contentedly twirled around, the skirt flaring out to reveal...bloomers...

He was going to be the death of me.

"Don't you think it looks wonderful on him," Tomoyo added with a dreamy exhale of artistic breath. "The color compliments his hair so beautifully..."

I felt my senses shatter. Fai was in a dress. And if this reality allowed Fai to wear dresses sans the consequences of our society then it must also allow Darla to recite poetry.

As if on cue Darla's paw grabbed around blindly under the door and she let out a pathetic meow.

_"Dear God...__I've never been a praying man..." _I thought as Fai danced around the room in his dress. He ran up to me and ran a finger down my cheek. I shivered.

Suddenly the room was filling with laughter. It started off as a few snickers from Fai and then a cresendo into loud boisterous laughter that left no room for words. Fai was supporting himself on me, gripping my pajama shirt tightly as he continued to hysterically express joy. Tomoyo was already doubled over with laughter with her head resting against the sewing table she'd been sitting at the whole time. I felt out of the loop.

"What's so funny?" I could barely hear myself over the hilarity.

The kept on laughing. And laughing. And _God damned _laughing!!

"_What the hell is so funny?!" _My nerves began to fray.

Fai lifted his head as he wiped away a simgle tear that he shed from the scene he and Tomoyo created. Tomoyo sat up once more with her hands on her knees to keep her from falling over on her desk as her laughter died down. Even though they were trying to stop I couldn't help but feel humiliated by my ignorance to the reason for their laughs. Like the kid who doesn't get the sex jokes the adults tell at Thanksgiving after a few bottles.

"I-I'm so sorry Kuro-sama!" Fai exclaimed laughing between words. "I-it's j-j-just that!"

"T-that!" Tomoyo interjected as Fai nearly fell over as his laughter sprung back to life again. "T-that's m-my!"

"T-this is!" the blond tried to continue before he put his hand to his side in another fit of laughter. "It-It's hers!"

Fai pointed an accusing finger at Tomoyo before she finished on Fai's behalf, "It's-It's MINE!"

I rolled my eyes. These _two _would kill me long before age did. Or maybe I'd kill them before old age eased the suffering I'd bring down on them.

"We just wanted to see what you'd do!" Fai explained taking in a high pitched breath before collapsing on the floor next to my feet. The skirt billowed out and covered his feet.

Tomoyo continued to laugh quietly as she caught her breath with heavy inhalations. Fai twisted the curl of a bow between his fingers, looking sadly at the light blue fabric. I let out a sigh. _Here goes the last of my dignity..._I sat down on the floor next to him. Slowly I broght my hand up to his chin and cradled it softly. Behind me I heard Tomoyo do her best to restrain her joy at the sight in her studio.

I kissed his lips once, delicately, and whispered, "You look...great..."

Then Fai looked up at me. He looked at me with his eyes wide, so blue and deep, as if I'd said something so _right _that it almost hurt. Had no one ever told him this? Was I the first? Could it be that it only mattered that it came from me.

Fai was stunned no matter the reason. He stared at me, his hands in his skirted lap completely still for once.

Without warning Fai stood up and tore the head band off (without damaging it surprisingly enough). Then he walked out of the room with a hurt look on his face.

"I need to get..." he started as distance spread between us. "...Chocolate..."

He closed the door before I could even react. But just as soon as the door was closed it snapped into place that Fai was gone. I stood up just as suddenly as he did and tried to walk out too. Tomoyo stopped me. Her hand on my hand and a look on her face that said I shouldn't charge in just yet.

"No," Tomoyo simply ordered. "He needs time."

I looked to the door. I looked at my cousin. I looked at the door again and let my arms go slack.

She was right. Fai needed to figure this out on his own.

Carefully I sat down, cautious of the delicacy of a hard wood floor...for some strange reason. Tomoyo let go of me and pushed her mobile desk to the side. My head sunk down a little to find some relief from this.

"Fai only needs time, Youou," she repeated with more impact since she used my first name. "He will not run away."

And I believed her. And Fai.

* * *

After an hour of useless chatter Tomoyo brought up something I thought she forgot about. I had at least. But it seemed that she had really thought about it while I was gone trying to find the answer.

"Have you learned what true strength is yet?" Tomoyo asked handing me a glass of water as she took her place on the cushy blue chair in her studio.

I felt somewhat winded by this question. Had I? One thing I knew, I wasn't kicking everyone's asses that I came into contact with anymore. I wasn't hurting over my father nearly as much. And...I had learned to push aside my own instincs and desires in order to better another person...that person just happened to make my entire world spin and flip.

Shaking my head I laughed at my own foolishness, "Who knows?"

I could see Tomoyo draw back in confusion in my mind's eye, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I have no idea if I have or not," I elaborated looking at her sideways before taking a gulp of water. "I see that what I had before was only physical strength and that no matter how hard I hit or pull or push there are some things that I will never be able to obtain with my own hands..."

There was more on the tip of my tongue and she knew it, so she kept quiet while I drank my water and gathered my thoughts.

"Even if I had to learn it from such a scrawny guy," I began indicating to the door that Fai had exited out of a while preceeding this conversation. "I now understand that strength isn't about covering up what you think with a smile or, in my case, a fight. Sometimes...You have to be willing to..." I couldn't think of the right words. "Wait. If you really want something..."

Tomoyo sighed happily and touched a hand to my shoulder. She silently looked into my face and I wondered if I _really _had learned what it meant to be strong. That look of pride was unmistakeable.

"Seems to me that you have learned," she let out finally after drawing her hand away from me. "What it means to be strong and what it means to love another person."

It was really easy to forget that she was only sixteen sometimes.

I took the final drink of my water and heard a throat being cleared in the doorway. I whipped around and saw Fai standing there, one of his feet shyly rubbing at his leg. For a second he just stared at the ground. Then he looked up and cocked his head to the side, motioning for me to follow him.

I glanced over at Tomoyo and she pushed me urgently so that I could join Fai, who had already disappeared behind the door. And despite my pride I followed Fai up the stairs, not more than a few steps behind him. What could he be thinking?

He quickly stopped in the hallway, the back drop of Sakura trees behind him as he stared at me confusedly. I could barely think straight like this. Fai was still wearing the dress, he was standing in front of a realistic looking mural of springtime Japan, and he was biting his lip as if he didn't understand what was going on.

"Is it true?" Fai asked abruptly as I pulled myself out of admiration of the scene.

"What?" I oh-so smartly wondered aloud as my mind stumbled.

"Is it true?" he repeated bringing his hands to his sides to crumple the skirt of the dress in his hands.

"Is what true?" I inquired pushing his hands away from the material. It just didn't seem right for him to be so messed up by this.

Fai stopped messing up the dress, "Do you..." he got quieter and quieter. I couldn't hear him as he continued to speak.

"What...?"

He glanced up at me without moving his head, then began to mumble.

"...What...?"

"Do you love me?!" he shouted feeling frustrated, possibly with me for not having super-sonic hearing, or with himself for being unable to say something like this since he'd made fun of me so much for what I couldn't say and sometimes for what I had said.

I reeled back. Woah. Wow. WOW!

"I-uh...ummm..." _nice start Kuro-tan!_ I rolled my eyes at my inner voices. Sometimes it felt like Fai lived inside of my head. "I...do."

Fai ran one of his hands through his hair and nodded awkwardly, "Oh-Okay." He nodded to himself again and then ran the other hand through his hair, "T-tha's nice..."

I nodded and reached for him, "What's wrong?"

Fai jerked away and began to fan himself with his hand since the dress wouldn't give way to air himself out that way, "Oh God. Is it hot in here or is it just you...?"

The way he hit on me gave it away. He was beginning to panic. Usually he raised an eyebrow and was confident in every word he said. This pick up line lacked originality and just sounded like regular (panicked) conversation.

"Fai," he looked at me for a second before averting his gaze. He continued to fan himself, "Fai!"

"Oh I guess it is you..." he answered himself stupidly. "I should go outside and cool down!"

He tried to run away but I grabbed him by the waist and held his back close to my chest. Fai struggled and hit me and got frantic but I couldn't let him go.

He screamed at me. "_What the fuck's your issue?! You have NO RIGHT to keep me here!!"_

He begged me to. "I'm not going to leave! Just please Kurogane..._Please_...Let me go..."

He tried to _bite_ me.

And like the fool I was I held onto him still.

"Just..." Fai whispered as his fight left him. "Let me go..."

Then he lost his strength and crumpled onto the floor, covering his face with his hands as he cried. The stress of having some one love you, and being faced with that love was something he couldn't trust after what he'd been through with Ashura. And all I could do was hold him against me and love him even more in his broken down state. Between his sharp sobs I could hear him talking. I couldn't make out what he was saying but I knew he was talking.

"How could you?!" he screamed into his hands.

I didn't know how to answer that so I just squeezed my arms around his shaking frame.

He let out a harsh breath, "You're..." inhale suddenly. "Not in..." many broken exhales. "Love w-with me!"

Jerking his face to meet mine angrily, "Yes. I am." He closed his bloodshot, broken, confused eyes. I shook his head, "You can't tell me how I feel."

Fai tried to push me away with his last burst of strength. It of course didn't work, especially when I was this determined.

I held his chin between my thumb and index finger, "And with the way you're acting, I'd say that you're in love with me too!"

His face was soaked with tears and the front of Tomoyo's dress was damp. It was weird that I had just been talking about a passive strength that I learned while traveling with Fai yet here I was forceably holding him against me as he cried.

Like I had said though, _some_ things cannot be achieved through physical means. Others however, like getting Fai to talk for example, can be...

* * *

Exhausted from finally being so emotional, Fai fell asleep in my arms in the middle of the hallway. He was awkwardly placed on my lap when he fell asleep. His head was mostly on the wall while the rest of it was on my shoulder. Then his legs looked so painfully positioned but he fell asleep with them like that so it couldn't have been too uncomfortable. They looked like they were broken.

When I was sure he was asleep I picked him up. I nearly dropped him too. God when Fai slept it was like he was made of lead! Dead weight! But I made it through, mostly because his room wasn't more than three feet from where we were. I hadn't been in Fai's room since we had gotten there so I had no idea of what to expect from Tomoyo's quick decorating skills. But I was impressed with it.

It looked like Fai was staying in a five star hotel!

His bed was a sleigh bed (one that was probably laying around considering this had been a storage room beforehand) with ornate European throw pillows on it. Gold swirls and leaves sewn into deep scarlet fabric. The pillows of course matched the earth-blanketing comforter. This comforter looked like it weighed more than Fai when he slept! Then there were the random pieces of art hung on the walls to give it that expensive looking touch. I couldn't be sure if they were authentics...but knowing these archaic women...they probably were.

I could understand why Fai had chosen to come and sleep in my room last night. This was waaaaaaaaaay too much for a guest! Especially Fai! He needed less luxury and more simple. I mean look at the motels we'd stayed at and then this. I would be too shocked to sleep too!

I shook my head and became aware of Fai's sleeping weight again as I fell back into the present. I'd been drifting off a lot lately, huh? I carried him over to the bed and set him down. He let out a small whimper and rolled onto his side, his back to me. I'd considered leaving him to sleep off his anxiety but it just didn't feel right. So I walked around to the other side and sat down on the bed next to him.

For a second I just watched as Fai's face changed slightly to accomodate the dream he was viewing. I ran my fingers through his hair and touched his jaw bone, and it was as I did this that I realized that I really did love him. As weird as it seemed. It was true.

And I was struck by how true it was. I guess it took Fai demanding an answer from me and breaking down for me to see that Fai actually meant _that_ much to me. That I wanted to be with him no matter what it took. That if he was hurting I would hurt as well, as I did right now. It was just...too strange. I never would have thought that I could care about some one so much that they had this much of a hold over me.

I kissed his forehead and leaned back against the headboard. Fai's hand shot out and grabbed my thigh. I jumped when he did this but I saw that his eyes were still closed yet intensly focused on his dream. After a second of tightening his grip his hand began to go lax. I put my hand over his and saw his face soften just enough to make my body calm down.

I bent over and kissed his hand, feeling greedy for wanting to kiss him this much while he was still suffering from the wounds caused by Ashura and his selfishness. It was when I started to straighten my body out that I saw Fai's eyes flutter to the half way mark. He stared at me sleepily for a second before speaking.

"Hello Kuro-sama," he greeted squeezing my thigh affectionately.

"Hi..." I said unsure of what to make of Fai's state. "Umm...Go back to sleep, you're tired..."

He shook his head, "No. I want to say sorry to you."

"Okay then," I started. "Say it."

"I'm sorry," Fai dazedly confessed. I thought it would end there but I was wrong. Apparently when something bothered Fai it_ really_ bothered him. And he had to talk and talk to remedy it. "It's just that-"

"You don't have to tell me," I informed him looking at his half mast eyes.

"Yes. Yes I do," he insisted waving the hand on my thigh around to demonstrate this. "It's just that...Love breeds hatred Kuro-tan. And of all the people I've ever met, you're the only one I never want to worry about hating me. Fuck the world," wow...that was unusual. "They can despise me as much as Antionette for all I care. But you...You're...different. I couldn't take it if you hated me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked not quite getting it.

Fai took in a deep breath, playing with the dress as he did so, and closed his eyes, "I'm _scared." _

I wanted to hit him.

"I won't hate you." Fai made a clicking sound with his tongue. "Shut up. As much as you piss me off and annoy me..." I was going to say it...there was no running from it now. Not when Fai deserved to hear this. "I love you. And nothing will change that."

"But Ashura-"

"I'm not Ashura!" I told him feeling frustrated. Why could Fai _not_ accept this one thing without question? I saw Fai's eyes open completly from shock. "I'm not him. I will never be him. I will never hurt you like that Fai." Fai stared at me with those huge eyes, "Because I love you."

Fai had nothing to say. For once.

So I kissed him.

I felt so strange. But that wasn't anything new was it?

_End of The Best Medicine_

* * *

**A/N: **So was it worth the wait? Okay...the crossdressing...I can't help it! It's like this super obsession of mine! Kinda pathetic really. If I think about a cute lithe guy like Fai in a skirt I'm drooling for days. XD Androgyny (let's all pretend that's spelled right) is an OBSESSION! I've been told that I am really androgynous because of the way I talk and dress but I look really girly. Strange no? Okay...off that subject before this fic is 10,000 words longer just from this note...The OOC-ness: I think that confessions really bring out a deeper/uncharacteristic side of you. I know I was OOC when I confessed that I liked my b/f. But that's an entirly different story. And Kuro's speech was going to be a lot sappier but I decided that it couldn't all be written off as usual confession-OOC-ness. I hope you guys like it. Things will be a little rocky from here on out just b/c Fai's in that stage of healing where he'll try to reject it before realizing that he really needs it. Heaven knows I went through it.

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_"...'I swear you're like a woman!' I shouted as Fai flung a shirt at me. 'Tomoyo told you take me shopping for more clothes,' Fai told me as if I hadn't been there. 'And she said that you had to do what I said.' I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell of generic mall clothing, 'I know. I fucking know...' Fai smiled at me. 'But this is stupid.'..."_


	22. Starlite

**A/N: **Hello Duckies! How's it been? Sorry about the delay. Shortages of internets and busy seinor life keep hammering me in the face, so right now you'll have to deal with slow updates. It bugs me to no end that I can't write NEARLY as often as I used to. You guys are great fans and you deserve more updates from me. Thanks for stickin' by me in this rough time. OMG and another thing that was messing with my writing time...**Nabari No Ou**...can we talk about moving, beautiful, tear jearking AND Shonen-Ai?!? That series...I mean I just love it so much. I can't get over the bond between Miharu and Yoite. It's just...Ou my God! Amazing! I mean it. I haven't watched the anime but the manga is...so worth it. I promise.

Speaking of what bugs me though...Friggin' Camp Rock, that movie really pisses me off. I mean seriously. The songs are cheesy and cliched. The story as see through as a sliding glass door. It's like seriously **Fanfiction(dot)Com: The Movie**! I watched (most of) it, at the request of a friend who HIGHLY reccomended it to me, and I couldn't finish it! Friggin' Demi Lavotto, total Mary Sue. And that one Jonas guy...faaaake. It really just pissed me off that they make movies THAT bad but neglect good books like anything by Sarah Desen!

Okay...done now.

**Summary: **_You'd never guess that shopping for jeans would be this difficult. Well, you've also never shopped with Fai..._

**Warnings: **...Swearing (That's right! I said it!), Shonen-Ai...(Yeah...sure...) and as always Weird!Fai (That NEVER happens -sarcasm sarcasm-)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 22

_"If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky..."_

It seemed that this song was all around me. The gentle background music, the singer's calming voice, it all just lulled me into sleep.

_"You can hide underneath me and come out at night..."_

I didn't even want to roll over and find a comfortable spot. I was right just where I was.

_"When I turn jet black and you show off your light..."_

I head Fai sigh as the song continued. He felt so warm against my chest, his breath hitting my shirt and making me fall further and further into sleep.

_"I live to let you shine..."_

"Ku..ro..tan..." he contentedly sighed in his sleep. I wanted to hold him tighter but if our most recent fallout hadn't taught me anything next to this, it was that Fai needed time. Time. Time. Time. Even if he put on that bold face that said he was going to leap over his problems. Pft.

_"I live to let you shine. But you can sky rocket away, from me. And never come back if you find another galaxy, far from here, with more room to fly...just leave me your stardust to remember you by..."_

I felt myself frown. At first this song had been relaxing, now it just kind of pissed me off. I couldn't comprehend how some one could love another person as much as this girl sang about but be willing to let them go, just like that. I wouldn't be able to. Especially if it was Fai. If you love some one you're supposed to hold onto them with all your might, right?

_"If you'll be my boat, I'll be your sea..."_

Again I was drifting off, carried away by this song and possibly the need to sleep from being stressed out by the lithe boy in my arms. He shifted slightly closer to me.

_"The depth of pure blue just to procuriosity..."_

In his sleep Fai kissed my clothed chest. It felt...nice. It was just another thing that made my head spin with the dizziness of sleep. My head just spun and spun as I laid there whith Fai cuddling into my chest.

_"Ebbing, and flowing, and pushed by a breeze. I live to make you free..."_

My instincs told me that the girl's view on love was about to come up again. I would have jumped out of bed and demanded for Fai to tell me why he listened to such...horrible music. But that would have involved waking him up. I didn't really want to wake him up considering he deserved this one reprive from the shadows of his mind.

_"I live to make you free. But you can set sail to the west if you want to, and pass the horizon 'till I can't even see you. Far from here, where the beaches are wide. Just leave me your wake to remember you by..."_

So I endured it for the sake of Fai's beauty sleep.

I felt so stupid.

* * *

"Why are all of your songs so god damn depressing?" I gritted as Fai danced around the kitchen looking around in the many cabinets and cubbys of the room. Occasionally he'd take out a pot or a pan or some box of food and survey it. God he was weird.

He turned his head back to get a look at me, "Whatever do you mean?" Then he read the nutritional facts of Fiddle Faddle and put it back into the quick-snack-cabinet.

I rested my forehead against my palm, "That one song about the stars..." Hell if I knew what it was called.

Fai looked dumbfounded. I had to elaborate. "You know," I huffed. "Where that girl is talking about how the person she loves can fly away if they want to..."

"Oh!" he exclaimed snapping. "That one!"

"Yeees," I agreed feeling a headache form at the base of my skull.

"It's not depressing," Fai simply stated as he closed the seven millionth cabinet. "It's...real."

"So you're saying that you'd let some one that you really love go," I began. "If they thought that they could do better?"

Fai brushed his hair out of his eyes and grabbed a red stained glass cup from the glasses cupboard, "No. That's not what it's about."

I sat back a little as pain rose up in my head, "Then what is it about?"

He sighed and slid the glass back into it's place, "It's about..." Fai came and sat down beside me at the breakfast nook, his pale arms a striking contrast the green granite of the counter. "About...How willing some one is to sacrifice their own happiness for the one they love."

"How is that any different than what I just said?" I asked massaging the back of my head a little.

"Because you're saying that the other person is well aware of the singer's feelings," Fai explained drawing invisible designs on the cold surface of the counter.

"And they're not?" I countered not understanding what he was getting at.

"I don't think so," Fai told me. "I think that the singer was saying that she could be the other person's safety, that she'd always be there for them and that they would be able to grow from the love and care that the singer gave them."

"That's stupid." I bluntly stated folding my arms over my chest.

"No," Fai contradicted. "It's one of the purest forms of love out there."

We sat there for a second, a rare silence settling between us. Fai stared dreamily at the granite for a moment and then got this look on his face. That one look. The one that said he was about to get himself into trouble.

He turned his eyes up towards mine, "Let's not forget that you attempted the same thing not too long ago."

I felt my brain stumble for words, in a way similiar to when we first met all those bus stations ago, "Shuddup."

* * *

Tomoyo came out of her studio in the middle of the night, when Fai and I were still awake (because of that weird nap...) to tell us that she would not have Fai wearing the same three outfits he bought back in Michigan while her masterful pieces were being completed. And that I had to take him shopping.

"Now?" I wondered glancing at the red clock that read 1:30 AM.

"No," Tomoyo giggled, letting the silliness of lack of sleep get to her. "That's just absurd."

Fai kissed my jaw line.

"Later on," she corrected twisting her index finger in a circle to move the gears of time. "When the sun is up!"

I groaned. Shopping with Fai had been hell the first time through. Maybe it would be better this time around since, well, you know...I...love...him...

God that was weird!

Hopefully it would be easier to find his sanity in Tyrone Square.

* * *

Hopefully is not a word strong enough to make miracles happen.

Fai had been to every store in the mall and still couldn't find anything to his liking. He tried on everything from a designer suit to a hobo wanna be outfit. Getting up at one in the morning was not absurd. THIS was absurd! I wanted to throw my hands up in defeat, but of course I wouldn't allow that. Fai was the enemy here and I couldn't give up that easily.

Even with all the 'is this the right color's and the 'I don't look trampy, do I?'s I STILL hadn't given up! I deserved a medal for it!!!

"Kuro-sama," he chimed throwing a pair of artifically faded jeans over the dressing room stall. "I like these..."

I tore them away from the stall and looked at them, "They look like they've been worn."

"What an astute observation," Fai sarcastically complimented. "You impress me Kuro-tan!"

A growl rose up in my throat, "Don't be a bastard."

Fai clicked his tongue at me and threw a tight blue shirt over, "And this."

I caught it since Fai managed to clear the top of the stall for once. Fai hummed and I saw his feet turn as he examined himself in the mirror on the inside of the stall. He made my paitence fray at their torn edges. He poked his head out of the stall and motioned for me to come closer to him. I did. Surprisingly enough.

He made room in the stall for me. He wasn't wearing a shirt.

_He wasn't wearing a shirt._

"Do these pants make my butt look big?" he asked in that plastic voice that made me cringe.

My palm quickly met Mr. Face. I felt Fai stare at me. And stare at me.

"Well...do they?"

I moved the few pieces of clothing that Fai chose out to my other arm, "I swear you're just like a woman!" I walked out of the stall, fed up with his childishness.

Fai looked mortally offended by this, "What the hell is your issue?!"

"You are Fai!" I shouted as a shirt came flying at me, hanger and all. "You and," I made a gesture to his naked top half, his designer jeans and the clothes in my arms, hoping that would sum it up. "_This!" _

_"_Well I'm sorry for being a burden!" Fai fakly apologized. "You didn't have to bring me here!"

I looked at him incredulously, "You're kidding right?"

Fai folded his arms over his chest but refused to speak.

"If I didn't agree to take you to the mall today," I began with a darker tone. "Tomoyo would have -"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about!" he cut in angrily.

It hit me.

"Oh."

Fai didn't look at me. I walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders. He shuddered and brushed them away. I placed them back on his bony shoulders.

"I brought you here," I whispered trying not to sound too gruff from the dwindling anger. "That's that."

"Excuse me," an unfamiliar voice called out sheepishly. "Please behave respectably or I'll have to ask you to leave."

I looked at the mousy teenager as she scuttled away to help some other person with their color issue.

Fai rubbed his face and looked at me, "I-I'm sorry Kuro-sama. I'm just so..."

"I know," my turn to cut in. "Let's go somewhere else."

His downtroden face lit up at this. I didn't like this look...it was oddly familiar to that one he gave me...way back when our destination was 'anywhere at all except where we're from'.

"I have an idea!" he exclaimed rushing back into the changing room.

He came out a second later in his clothing with the other things he tried on. Then he searched the store while I stood by the changing area. When he came back he had two pairs of swimming shorts and a smile. Fai took the items from my arms and paid for them promptly.

"Come on," he urged as he took a hold of my wrist, the better to drag me out of the mall with.

"Now," Fai said excitedly with a real look of anticipation. "Let me drive."

* * *

I had no idea where Fai was going to take me. Though his purchases _should_ have given me insight I was clueless as usual to the way the gears turned about in Fai's head.

He had taken me to Midira Beach.

Yup. A beach in February.

Only Fai would do that. And take me to a cornfield in the dead of winter.

Fai had changed hastily in the car, pulling his pants down in the backseat to exchange them for the swimming trunks. Then he tossed the blue pair to me and told me to change. His trunks were red and tied way too tight to allow breathing. But it was Fai, the living stick.

And after all of that haste we stood on the empty winter shoreline of Midira Beach. It was warm, which wasn't unusual for Florida and the sky was somewhat dull with the passing of the 'cold' season. But Fai loved it.

He stood with his face bathed in pale sunlight as the tide drew closer to his toes. I sat on the dry sand and watched as he wore a look of open admiriation for the warmth of a Florida Winter. It was incredible.

Fai walked towards the drawing tide and put his foot in slowly. An expession of surprise crossed his face.

"You do know that you're in the Gulf of Mexico, right?" I questioned as he kicked the water around.

"Yes, I do Kuro-sama," he replied delighted by the warmth of the ocean. "I know geography too!"

"Why you little-" I cut myself off by running at him and tackling him down to the slimy, wet sand beneath the water.

Fai laughed out to the empty beach in delight. It was real. His laugh. His joy. The way he loved the warm water of Midira Beach. All of it was real.

So naturally I kissed him.

And he kissed me back. He didn't hit me, or go rigid or make some weird evasive menuver to avoid it.

He kissed me back and I liked it.

Not having to fight for a kiss was nice. Not being beat up for wanting a kiss was even better.

When I drew back to see if Fai was okay, he was. His eyes were glossy with the memories of a darker time. He didn't have that fake smile spread across his face. He was simply...Fai.

Fai brushed the hair out of his eyes as I climbed off of him. He sat up, his white blonde hair sticking to the sides of his face awkwardly. I reached out and twisted one salty strand around my finger. Fai crawled over to me and sat down cross legged in front of me. All he did was look at me. He looked like he was going to say something but thought better of it. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back into the dry sand, that stuck to my hair like sand does when you don't want it to.

He leaned over me and kissed me as the sand began itching in my scalp. I couldn't care less at that moment though. Fai kissed me sweetly and then broke away.

"Thank you, Kuro-sama."

_End of Starlite_

* * *

**A/N: **The song is one of my newest song obsessions! _Boats and Birds by: Gregory and the Hawk!!! _That song has stolen my heart many time over. I love it. Guys...I think there's only one more chapter. Unless you guys can give me more to work with the next chapter will be the last...Oh gosh now I'm getting sad! What will I do if I can't work on Bus Tickets?! (Inner voice: Work on the SasuNaru one?) Shuddup! So...Please tell me what to do. I'm not sure. I've finished fics before but this closure feels soooooo weird. I don't wanna stop!!!

**Preview for Next Chapter: **_"...Ashura gently sealed the envelop and pushed it to the side. After a sigh of sorrowful air he began to rub his temples, looking shaky in his resolve..."_


	23. The Long Road

**A/N: **Okay so this won't be the last chapter. I just can't seem to end this story appropriately. I'll try to think of something. Maybe I'll just ease into the ending? I don't want this to get stale and you guys lose interest in it. Oh God if that happened. I've just been having a hard time writing lately. It's been really stressful with Graduation coming up (June 7th!!) and all the stupid things that my school is making me do. Oh gosh. So I apologize for this being so damn late. Really.

**Summary: **_Fai gets a proper welcome into Kurogane's household..._

**Warnings: **...Shonen-ai...(A-dur...), underage drinking (well how else are you supposed to welcome some one to the family?!), some VEEERY light shoujo-ai (but it's Kendappa and Souma...can you blame me?) and heavy make outs...(-cue the devil tail-)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 23

_Ashura sighed as he finished writing the letter that would free him as well as another from the curse of dependancy. He rolled his shoulder as he waited for the ink to dry. The sun was rising above the woods that surrounded his house but Ashura cared not for the time of day, just that he could find a way to complete this without letting his sick thoughts corrupt his good intentions. _

_When Tomoyo's company had called him, asking for a meeting, he knew it was a set up. He knew that Fai would escape from Michigan, a hell of sorts, with Kurogane before he came home. Yet when the man on the other end of the phone asked if he would be free and despite his vulgar obsession with his adopted son, Ashura said he was. He told Tomoyo's lawyer that he could meet where ever he wanted to. _

_So the day he was contacted by Tomoyo's people, he told all of the maids to act as if Fai and Kurogane were not there (yes he knew about that wallet, and it was only logical that Fai would need more things to travel with). To make things as easy as possible the front door was unlocked and the mansion's security personel escorted Ashura to the meeting he had with Tomoyo's lawyer. _

_The heavy hearted man placed the letter, Fai's adoption papers, birth certificate, passport and social security card in a big envelop. This was Ashura's last gift to Fai. _

_His freedom._

* * *

I pulled out the contents of the next box, my manga collection, and set them off to the side. Slowly I broke the box down, folding in it's sides to make it easier to store.

It was strange that that one trip to the beach made me want to unpack my room so suddenly. When we got home, and after our (seperate) showers I started to pull out all of the things inside the boxes that had remained packed for months. I couldn't even remember why I had left them packed to begin with. I had lived with Tomoyo for nearly six months before she sent me away to meet fate. Why hadn't I unpacked?

For a moment the memory of my other relatives flashed through my mind. When I stayed with any given one of them, it was almost a promise that I'd be gone within a few weeks. After a while it was too stupid and energy consuming to actually unpack only to pack my life up again in the same month.

I shook off that feeling and pushed my manga off to the side. It was weird that I was almost done unpacking...really weird, in fact. I don't remember possessing so few things. I always thought I had a lot, especially for how much I got in trouble. I threw the flatened box into the pile of other emptied boxes and brought another one towards me to unload.

"Knock, knock!" Fai sang happily as he sauntered into my room. He was drying his hair. "What are you doing Kuro-myuu?"

I glanced at him before opening the next box, "Unpacking."

"Man, you're behind," he informed me with a smile. "You were living with Tomoyo for how long, and you still haven't unpacked?"

He was teasing me, I knew this, "So?"

"'So?'" he repeated peering over the flaps of the box. "You should have done this before you even left to meet me!"

I looked at his smiling face, "I didn't leave to meet you..."

"I know," Fai said reaching in and pulling something out. "But you did anyway."

I rolled my eyes and went back to unpacking. This box was full of...pictures. Pictures of me. Of my mother. Of my father. Of anyone I'd ever had a picture of. Then there were family albums, birth certificates...death certificates...and small family memerobilia. My baby blanket. A hair pin that belonged to my mother. My father's army beret as well as his ACU combat boots...

"Wow..." Fai marveled as he pulled out my baby blanket. I could smell it from here, old and musty, like an attic. "This is amazing..."

"No it's not," I said referring to the blanket and nothing else. "Everyone has one."

Fai shook his head sadly as he nuzzled my baby blanket, "No they don't..."

Oh yeah. Fai was adopted...

"It is amazing..." Fai said once more as he closed his eyes and savored my infancy. "To know that some one made this for you, just for being born...It really is amazing Kuro-sama..."

I reached over and touched the hands that cradeled my blanket so tenderly. Some one had to have been happy that he was born. I was. But what about his parents?

"Ashura told me," sometimes Fai was a mind reader. "That the orphanage where he adopted me from said that I was left on their doorstep when I was two."

"Why would he tell you that?" I wondered questioning Ashura's already questionable personality.

"I asked," he replied quickly. "But...why would some one want to abandon their own child?"

I sat silently. Wondering the same thing. I had nothing to say to him. No words that would make him feel better about his fuzzy past. Nothing. All I could do was sit there and listen.

"Why have a child if you're going to leave them anyway..." Fai asked in a heartbreaking whisper.

"Fai..." I started as I let go of the little bit of pride I had lingering inside of me. "I thought the same thing."

"But your dad died," he pointed out.

"To me it was the same thing," I told him. "He might as well have left me to the system of screwed up relatives for all I was thinking."

He just stared at me, wide eyed at my sudden openess. Fai reached over the box and touched my hand.

"I know what it means to be alone, Fai," I grasped his hand. "I choose not to be alone anymore."

Fai leaned across the box and kissed the side of my face, "I'm glad you told me this..."

He settled back in his original place and started going through the pictures again in an oh-so casual way. Fai laughed every now and then and smiled gently as the conversation became another one that we would just remember as our time to bond to one another. It was weird how much you could love another person. It was almost unreal.

"I love you, Kuro-sama," Fai said easily.

I felt my mind shut down and the thick stack of pictures hit my lap with a thud. He really said it. Fai really said it.

Then he started laughing. I was tugged back into reality by his growing laughter.

"God your butt is cute!!" Fai exclaimed leaning on the box for support.

He showed the picture to me with his shaking hands. It was one of those pictures that your parents keep to blackmail you with once you get a girl/boyfriend...My parents were doing it from the afterlife! It was a picture of me, as a baby, in the bathtub.

I snatched the picture from him and tried to rip it up. Fai came flying at me before I could even make a tear in it.

"Nooooo!" He yelled landing on me, knocking the wind out of me. "Don't do that!!!"

"I'm destroying this!" I shouted at him over his own laughter.

"But it's cuuuuute!" Fai told me as he wrapped one of his arms around my neck and tried to reach the picture I held with his other hand. I kept it out of his reach, just barely, but extending my arm in ways I never thought possible. "I wanna keep baby-Kuro-chuu!!!"

"That's it!" I warned taking a hold of his waist to keep him pinned to my body as I pinched one cornor of the picture with my teeth and started to try to rip it in half.

"NOOO!" Fai yelled again with a fit of laughter.

* * *

Tomoyo wandered into the kitchen with a worried look on her face. She held a big orangy-yellow envelope in her small hands and looked at us as if it meant bad news that she was there. Fai smiled at her from over my chest, he was laying on my bed and unfortunatly on me...

"What's wrong Tomoyo-chan?" he asked letting his smile shine for real.

"This came in today," she turned the envelope towards us so we could see the way it was addressed.

"It's addressed to you," Fai pointed out proudly.

"Thank you," I said sarcastically. "Captain Obvious."

"Anytime," he smiled even bigger. Here it comes... "First Mate Dense."

"You-!"

"It's from Ashura," Tomoyo said at the same time I was about to start yelling at Fai.

There was silence. A common theme today, apparently.

"What...?" Fai said first.

"It's from Ashura," she repeated sitting on the edge of my bed with us.

Fai thought about this, a look of fear spread over his face, "Have you read it?"

Tomoyo shook her head, looking as solomn as Fai.

"It's not like he can do anything," I told them. "Fai's eighteen, the worst he can do is file a missing person's report."

"Really?" Fai asked stupidly.

"No, I'm lying," I rolled my eyes. "Yes, really."

"Well," Tomoyo said flattening her envelope. "Nothing will be changed if we don't read it..."

She opened the envelope slowly, as if it would bite her if she went too fast. First she pulled out a passport. Then a birth certificate, and a Michigan state ID. Last she pulled out a letter. Across the page was flawless cursive, looping its way into words.

"What the hell?" I questioned as the weirdness of this sunk in.

_Tomoyo Daidoji,_

_You are probably wondering why I am contacting you since you have probably heard about what happened when Kurogane and Fai came to my house in Michigan. The truth is, I am releasing Fai into the care of you and your sister, Kendappa. Enclosed are his personal things and if he so wishes I will send all of his possessions here in Michigan down to you. You do not need to worry, as I know Kurogane is right now, I will not try to find Fai and I will not hurt him any further. This is the last time that you or Fai will hear anything from me. Please take good care of him._

_Sincerly,_

_Ashura Flourite_

Fai sagged against me and whispered, "I'm free," barely loud enough for me to hear him. I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him, feeling unused to conforting him even after our time together. He seemed to melt into my arms, his warmth spreading through my chest. I listened as he whispered over and over that he was free. It was like he was in a trance, trying to hypnotize himself with this freedom mantra.

"I think I'll have to ask Souma for a favor for tonight..." Tomoyo waggled her eyebrow at me and I knew that she was probably going to ask Souma for alcohol.

My cousin stood up gracefully and walked to the door. Once she was out she peeked back in and said, "I don't want either of you to go anywhere. Tonight we're welcoming Fai into the family, the same way we did it for you Kurogane!" She winked and then vanished down the stairs.

"Oh great..." I whispered bitterly.

Fai glanced at me confused by Tomoyo's statement, "What is it?"

"Alcohol..."

* * *

I was afraid that Fai would be one of those crazy drunks. The kind that make you want to steer clear of him once he hits the bottle, and with the kind of bottles Souma and Kendappa toted into the house it was obvious that this night was going to be hell with Fai drinking. Tomoyo and I come from a long line of hard sake drinkers and both of us can hold our liquor with the best of them. Fai, however...I really was scared that after half a beer he'd be stripping on the island in the kitchen.

For the most part I was right. Fai wasn't a crazy drunk. No. That would be too typical for Fai.

Fai was a touchy-feely drunk.

But he wasn't a cheap drunk like I'd pinned him to be. Oh no. That would be too typical to be Fai too!

It wasn't until after four bottles of jagermeister, and endless shots of tequila with Tomoyo that Fai even started to let on that he was getting wasted. Still then he nursed a bottle of Corona as he twisted around me in a tuneless dance. Yeah, Tomoyo and Souma had cranked up the music but Fai, being Fai and being drunk, meant he danced even during those silent times between songs.

"Gosh!" Fai sqealed as he tilted my head upwards with his index finger. "You're hot."

I smacked his hand away, "Stop being an idiot."

Fai grabbed my hand and kissed my palm, "Aren't I..." he hiccupped. "Always though?"

He twisted away from me and gulped down the half-bottle he had left before dancing over to the fridge to grab another. My mind felt fuzzy and heavy from the taquila I was drinking. I hadn't expected it to smack me like that. But it did. Of course there wasn't enough of an effect to really matter, just enough to knock me off balance. Fai came over and purched himself on my lap. And I let him. Mostly I'd like to blame it on the tequila because I didn't care about much of anything at that point.

Kendappa and Souma were dancing their little girlfriends dance in the living room with Tomoyo spinning in wide sweeping circles around the furniture. I watched fascinated that with as much alcohol as she had in her body she was still able to maintain a perfect circle when her equilibrium was shot by jager. Tomoyo stopped spinning as the song wound down into silence. Then she fell over just short of the cushions in the couch. She of course found this to be absolutely hilarious.

Kendappa tried to help her up but ended up doing this weird pulling-and-letting go thing with Tomoyo as Souma danced by herself.

"You know," Fai began with a gulp of his fresh beer. "I like it here," he stated simply as he turned to face me on my lap. "And I don't think I want to leave after all."

"What?" I wondered at this 'leave after all' thing.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "I wasn't going to stay here. I felt weird staying at Kendappa-san's house when I hadn't met her before this."

I sat in silence as Fai drunkedly confessed this to me.

"But..." Fai looked into my eyes with his cloudy blue ones and smiled softly. "I like being here."

There was a lump in my throat.

Fai leaned in closer, the alcohol strong on his breath, "And I love you..."

Twice. He'd said he loved me twice in one day. That had to be personal best for the idiot.

"So I won't run away this time!" he exclaimed drawing his face away from mine to take a deep drink of his beer. "This time-!"

Fai fell off of my lap and onto the floor. I couldn't find it in me to really care since Fai was the master of picking himself up off the floor. Or so it seemed to me. He began laughing hysterically when his ass touched the cold floor. I just took another drink of tequila.

"I will not run!" he finished as he sat on the floor with his unscathed beer in the air, as if it were a toast. "I promise you that!"

I crawled out of my chair and nearly fell on my face when I tried to sit down beside the fallen Fai. I reached out and touched his face. Fai's breathing fell silent for a second as I let my drunken fingers caress the inches of Fai's face that I had never touched before. My index finger traced his mouth, his smooth soft lips, and Fai seemed to loose it.

He pushed my hand to the side and grabbed onto the front of my shirt to slam his mouth onto mine in a sloppy kiss. Because this all happened in about a second gravity had just enough time to catch up to our drunk make out. My body tilted one way and Fai's body seemed to give into the inescapable fate. We were going to fall.

I heard Fai's head thunk against the tile but he didn't care. He just kept giving me these wet open mouthed kisses over and over, pulling me by my shirt closer and closer. I braced my body over his with my hands on the cold stone of the floor. His hands traveled from my shirt to my hair and he massaged my scalp with his clumsy fingertips.

_Is it okay to take advantage of him like this?_

I pulled myself away from Fai and it was all I could do to keep from jumping him right then and there. His cheeks were flushed bright red, his hair a mess and fanned out on the rustic floor, a vision from my wildest dreams...if I ever had_ those _types ofdreams....

"Fai?" I questioned as he used his hand at the base of my neck to elevate himself just enough to kiss and bite at the side of my neck. "Ah-ah! Fai!"

"Hmmm?" he hummed as he continued to bite me.

"I-is this okay?" I asked as Fai's fingers got brave and dipped below the collar of my shirt.

"Yes," Fai inforned me as his finger stroked my heating chest. "You're a very good kisser!"

I felt my mind fall onto the floor. The gears in my head clanked together nosily as I stupidly tried to make sense of Fai.

Fai, being impaitent and all together plastered (not a good combination), slammed his lips into mine and dragged me down to nearly crush his tiny, girly body. At the time and in accordance with the amount of tequila + beer + whiskey in my body, I decided to just go down the path that Fai was leading me. I kissed him back. I kissed him again and again as he squirmed beneath me on the slowly warming up floor. His hands found their way up my shirt and I didn't have it in me to tell him 'no' like I had many times before.

I lowered myself to rest on my elbows while my semi-free hands stroked Fai's hair a little roughly. It felt like I was stuck in that moment. Like I only existed in that space of time, where Fai was kissing me like I was his personal toy from God on the kitchen floor, both of us drunk enough to actually conceed to this.

Suddenly Fai pushed me off of him and it broke the sparkly moment.

"The hell?!" I shouted feeling stupid for getting so carried away from reality by Fai's strange behavior. I would blame the alcohol but we all know that's a lie!

"We...we can't do this!" Fai said in a frenzy.

He was going to panic.

"Why not?" I asked as Fai stood up and offered me a hand to stand as well. I took it as he ruffled up his own hair.

"Because," he simply started. "This is the kitchen."

_What...?_

_Oh!_

Fai saw the realization dawn on me. He gave me a sly smirk and led me to the stairs by the tips of my fingers. I might as well have floated there to be quite honest. The looks he gave me as we walked up the stairs, around the corner and down the hall, were enough to make me fall into a drunken trance and just let loose. I closed my eyes while Fai pushed my door open quietly and let go of my hand.

_Thud!_

I opened my eyes quickly to find that Fai was no longer in front of me, but on my floor. Passed out. Stone cold. On my floor. Inches from my bed. I could say that I was frustrated like any other person would be. But it goes beyond that. Beyond the pysical sense of the moment we just lost to Fai's inabillity to know his own God damned limits.

It wasn't like I had any other choice anyway.

I stooped down and tried to salvage the fallen Fai. Although it would be hilarious to see him wake up on my floor with his feet hanging out of the door, I knew that I couldn't do that. I picked him up gently and tried to maintain balance as I walked him the remaining feet to the bed. More or less I threw him on the bed. Not because I didn't have a tight enough hold on him or a problem with my equilibrium, just because he could be such a fucking pain some of the times.

"Bastard..." I muttered to him as I closed my eyes to go to sleep next to the always troublesome Fai.

_End of The Long Road_

* * *

**A/N: **Okay so it was already hard enough to get this chapter out. So I think I might have to take a short break from writing. You know, recharge the battery. All of this Graduation stuff has got me running around everywhere just to say that I'm (finally) done with school! Ugh. It pisses me off to no end. So I'm going to take a break and relax for a bit. Don't know when I'll be back again, but know that I'll come guns a-blazin'!!!

**Preview of Next Chapter: **_....Ummmm...Pass?_


	24. Weird Things

**A/N: **So I feel really low at fictionpress. I'm so used to opening up my inbox and finding like 20 reviews when a new chapter comes out, but on fictionpress...I have only one little lonely review right now. Really it's not going to stop me. But it sure does help to motivate me. I have to go through and re-edit my first few chapters though, maybe that's what scared away the other readers? Lol. Yeah. I'll adjust to that site soon enough.

Yes, this chapter is thanks in large part to Me Or The Wallpaper, who gave me this idea waaaaaaay back when this fic was still in its childhood. Thank you chicka.

**Summary: **_Love is something to be taken seriously...unless of course your name is Fai..._

**Warnings: **SEX! Lol j/k! But talk of teh sex and gettin' close to it (heavy shonen-ai then, right?), swearing (Ah, but this being such and advanced chapter, you already knew that!) and Lovey-dovey talk (followed by Fai's strange thought process...)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 24

"Oh God..." Fai groaned next to me as the light from the mid-morning sun broke through my curtains. "My heaaaaad..."

I rolled over and felt a stiffness move around my shoulders, "It's from drinking."

"I'm aware of what it's from!" he snapped loudly. The next fit of moans told me he soon regretted this. "Why does it hurt sooooo much?"

"Because you're an idiot," I told him as I sat up to greet the damn sun.

"That has nothing to do with it," Fai said grumpily not fully understanding that he just called himself an idiot. Maybe he did...It would be like him to agree to something like that. "Oh God. I want to break my skull..."

I peered over at him, my shoulders screaming at me for this, "Don't be so dramatic. It's just a hangover, you'll live."

"Not at this rate I won't!" he moaned covering his head with his hands. It looked like he was trying to keep his skull together.

"Shut up," I ordered as I stood up to get changed into real clothes. "Get dressed."

I was not in the mood to put up with Fai's PMS. We both had hangovers, Fai was just going to have to deal with it. He finally sat up and looked at me with watery eyes.

He sighed out, "I guess you're right. I can't mope around forever."

God he was freakishly in tuned with me sometimes. It made me shiver.

I slid into my shirt and walked downstairs to see if I couldn't find something that wouldn't make either of us throw up. When I got the the fridge there was a not stuck to it that said:

_Kurogane and Fai,_

_I know you two are probably still hungover from last night, but I need you guys to meet me at Tyrone's. At about three. Sound good to you? _

_Love,_

_Tomoyo!_

Why did she insist on writing as if she were speaking to us? Like we could tell her that no, we didn't want to meet her at Tyrone's at three! I took in a deep breath and thought about it. She probably had to tel us something. So that meant that she was working today so she couldn't meet us here at the house. She knew we were both feeling shitty from last night, so obviously this was her only option.

It was okay. Yes, we would be there at three.

I glanced at the clock.

Oh shit!

It was already 2:50!!

I skipped every other step on my way upstairs despite the fact that my body said this was against its wishes. I ran through the door and saw Fai rummaging through his bag and a second later the aqua sunglasses he bought in Michigan emerged. He stuck them on his face with a sunny smile that looked like it hurt to smile that big.

"Whatever is it Kuro-sama?" he asked in a mood that was a complete one-eighty from the Fai I woke up next to.

"We have to meet Tomoyo at Tyrone's in ten minutes," I informed him.

He tapped his chin, "What's Tyrone's?"

I pulled him up by his elbow, "It's not a what, it's a where. And it's a restaurant."

"Then what are you so worked up for?" Fai wondered shrugging at me as if wasn't the devil's traffic on Saturdays.

"Nevermind," I brushed off his stupid question. "Let's just go."

Fai started to squawk about how he hadn't brushed his teeth so on the way to rushing Fai out the door I grabbed his toothbrush (mine as well) and the toothpaste. If you had been in my shoes it would have seemed practical in that big of a hurry. But looking back on it now, it just seems like it was a dumb idea. He looked at me confusedly when I walked outside to the chipping sky blue car I called my own. I just shook my head and offered no explanations.

* * *

We walked into Tyrone's air conditioned atmosphere. As relaxing as that would have been Fai and I were arguing. So nothing was relaxing.

"If you had taken the other way like I said then we wouldn't have hit traffic!" Fai frustratedly called out.

I followed him through the short maze of tables, "We would have hit traffic anyway jackass."

"Maybe if you ha-"

"Ahem," Tomoyo gave her fake cough and looked up at us from the table we seemed to gravitate towards. "Do you mind not disturbing the other customers?"

Fai and I both looked down at her and took our seats quietly. The serious expression in her eyes said that there would be hell to pay if we didn't listen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fai playing with the plastic table clothes as a form of distraction.

"Now, about why I called you two here," Tomoyo went back to her bubbly teenage self.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?" the waitress interupted.

"Uh," I said stupidly slow from my wake up. "Yeah. Water."

"Um," Fai imitated. I got the feeling he was making fun of me. "Water too."

Tomoyo was already taken care of with her pepsi bottle next to her red plastic cup.

"Have ya'll decided on your lunch yet?" the waitress asked with her pen poised and ready to strike at any given order.

After we all ordered and she left Tomoyo went back into bubbly-mode, "As I was saying. We're looking for new models!"

Fai and I looked at each other and then back to her with clueless looks on our faces, "So what?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking," Tomoyo began to twist her fingers this way and that way. Great. I knew that gesture. Mischife. "That maybe you and Fai could-"

"No." I told her flat out.

"But Kuro-"

"No." I felt more firm this time. "This is a stupid idea."

"I'm going to brush my teeth," Fai told us dejectedly as he stood up and pulled his tooth brush and the toothpaste from my cargo pockets.

Tomoyo gave him a confused look before jumping back into our conversation, "But it's a great way for you two to earn money. The jobs aren't that hard and then you guys would have enough money to pay for your GED exams."

She had a good point. As it stood, Fai and I had enough money to live on for quite some time, but with the economy the way it was it was going to be hard to live like that for even a short amount of time. And we couldn't depend on Tomoyo's and Kendappa's charity forever. That was just feeloading. I thought for a second and then Fai started hitting me.

And hitting me, "Kuro-tan."

And hitting me, "Kuro-tan!"

"What?!!" I barked at him turning just enough to see the people sitting behind us at the counter.

One had the same platinum blonde hair that Fai did. The same blue eyes. The same body.

God that was werid.

It was Fai. All grown up.

The other had my hair. My scowl. My eyes...

Oh God.

It was me. All grown up.

"Th-they're..." Fai sounded really startled by this. "They're..."

"Us," I finished for him since he wasn't up to the task.

The Fai clone draped his arm over my clone and leaned in close. Close enough to kiss the side of his face. My clone blushed and tried to push him away but the Fai clone wouldn't have it. He came back at my clone with the clinginess of a thousand fangirls and landed a kiss on my clone's lips. My clone lit up in a blush before Fai's clone giggled to himself.

Fai and I stared at them. Both of us unable to speak. I was sure that Tomoyo felt the same way. But instead of being horrified that there were doubles of us eating at Tyrone's on the same day, she seemed more excited. I turned to Fai slowly and he looked down at me in bewilderment. Then he made this weird 'ehher?' sound that was probably meant to encompass the strangness of this entire situation. While making me question his sanity this sound also brought attention to us from the clone of Fai.

"Kuro-tan," I swear all of my bodily functions stopped at that point. "Look!"

My clone glanced over his shoulder at us, "So?"

So?! That's all my clone had to say?! He came face to face with his doppleganger and all he could say was 'So?' ?!

"So?" Fai's clone said in a tone I'd heard from Fai a thousand and one times. "So, they're cute! See, now I can see what Kuro-myuu looked like as a teenager!"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Then again I guess by our age differences you just recently graduated from being a teenager," the older, blond one contemplated.

I wonder fleetingly about what he meant but thought that it would be better not to ask. This was, after all, Fai's clone we were dealing with. And if Fai was enough of a handful for the United States Armed Services then his clone had to be the same way. The look on the clone's face said that he was quite easily, just the same as Fai.

"Shut up!" my clone barked his face turning so red it was embarassing for me.

"I'm just saying," he replied resting his hand really high up on my clone's leg. "They're cute."

"Don't you dare do anything to them," a deeper version of my voice warned with a dark look.

Now I had to wonder. "I won't," Fai's double assured with a devilish look on his face. "Trust me."

My clone shivered, "We're leaving."

Fai's clone, unlike the real Fai, obediently listened to him. My clone stood up and paid for their food and walked out the door. Fai's clone walked behind him for a few moments but when he was almost half way out the door he looked back at my Fai and headed over to him. It was like looking at Fai of the future meeting Fai of the past. It was weird. But, I did have to say that as much as I thought about how girly Fai looked now, it seemed that he would grow into his looks. Not saying he wasn't...attractive...now, but if I loved him this much at our current ages, I could only imagine what would happen when he looked like_ that_.

The clone leaned in and whispered in Fai's ear. Fai's face seemed to light up and he whispered something back to his clone. I looked out the window and saw my clone standing out there, looking in, and looking annoyed. I had no desire to ask him about how Fai and I would turn out, because obviously we would be just fine. And even if our fate wasn't as good looking as theirs, I would work my hardest to be with Fai for as long as I could, for the rest of my life if possible.

"Remember what I said," the clone told Fai in a voice that feigned strictness.

Fai saluted him, "No problem!"

With that the clone walked out the door and joined my mirror outside. They walked off into the direction of some of the more shady hotels in the area, Fai's clone happily clinging to my clone's arm as they did. I watched them and wondered...

"What the hell...?"

* * *

Fai was laying next to me later that night. His eyes were as wider and bluer than I could ever remember them being. I pushed a few white gold strands out of his eyes and he smiled at me gently. It felt real. It felt like a dream. It felt better than a dream ever could.

Then Fai closed the distance between us with a kiss. He pulled his body closer to mine and draped one of his arms over my torso. I held his hips as he drew even closer. Fai kissed me softly and then drew his lips back.

"Do you wanna know what he told me?" he asked with a sly look on his face.

Well, yeah, I did.

He smiled even broader, "He told me that if I just accepted you the past would remain in the past."

That was good advice but it still didn't explain..."Then what's with the smile?"

"That wasn't all he told me..." Fai's smile got scarily evil.

He sat there quietly smiling at me, offering nothing more than what he already said. I watied for a moment. As usual Fai didn't say anything.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What else did he say?" I asked careful to put 'else' in there, so that Fai wouldn't repeate the first bit of advice in his effort to be a smart ass.

Fai kissed me again, this time harder and with tongue. "He said that the sex was amazing."

I felt my brain freeze up, a common side effect of Fai. He placed his body against mine, leaving no room between our chests. I found it hard to think or even brethe with him so close to me and with what he just said. Now the question remained, would he pass out again?

He showed no signs of passing out as he slid his hands under my shirt and touched every inch of my chest with his icy fingertips. I shivered from the coldness of his hands and the hotness of his touch. He moved from my lips to my ear and nipped at it mercilessly as I felt frustration rise up in my chest. He bit my neck and I flipped him over to sit on top of him.

"Now you're sure this is what you want?" I asked, not just talking about the sex.

He nodded, his hair fanning out around his head, "Absolutely."

I kissed his lips and his high cheekbones.

"I knew I picked right when I picked you," Fai whispered as my lips glided passed his ear.

I stopped, "What?"

"When I saw you," Fai explained with a far away look in his eyes. "I felt like there was no way I could just pass by you. So I asked you to travel with me."

I laughed. I still had no clue what possessed me to do that. While I was normally a very analytical person who didn't just throw caution to the wind, and I certinately didn't travel with people that presented themselves as lunatics (AKA Fai).

"What was even more surprising was that you said yes," he continued with the happiest expression I'd ever seen. "Then you stayed with me."

I kissed him.

"You actually stayed with me!" He exclaimed getting that sentimental look on his face. "You didn't hurt me, or yell at me, or...or..."

I hugged his head into my chest and smoothed out his hair. I didn't have to say anything. It wasn't my turn.

Fai kissed the fabric of my t-shirt, "And you love me. In spite of what you've seen. In spite of what I've put you through, you love me."

This moment was sappy. It had chick-flick written all over it. And despite the fact that I hated getting all mushy, especially with Fai, I at least owed it to him to validate his emotions. After everything we'd been through. After all we'd done together. After all of the crazy shit he's said to me.

"I do love you," I told him in a serious tone. I didn't want him to freak out. The easiest way to prevent that from happening was to give him no other option.

Fai nodded into my chest, "I love you too."

Maybe we'd be okay after all.

I head Fai start to laugh. This caught my attention since he was nearly in tears a second ago. My first thought was that he was about to do something stupid (surprise!). But I was wrong. He started talking instead. Whatever he said it had to have been funny because he couldn't stop laughing.

"...What?" I asked a little scared about what he would say.

"You must have been suicidal when we first met!" Fai assumed laughing at the tail end of his sentence.

"...Huh?"

He quieted his laughter, "You went on a bus with a complete stranger and stayed in motels with me even though you had just met me!"

"Shut up."

_End of Weird Things_

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N:** sOoooo...It's done...It's over. Finito. What do you think? I believe I have touched on all of the major points of this fic. Now I am satisfied with how it ended. Well I guess I left the whole TRC crew hanging, but this story's not about them! XO So it does not matter! Lol. Speaking of things ending...Tsubasa...It's coming. I can feel it! Well, anyone who's read the latest chapter can feel it. It's kinda like "Hey we're ending now! Please find lives in the meantime!" lol. I don't know what I'll do if it's not to stalk Tsubasa and xxxHolic every other day (hour...whatever).

Tell me. Was this fic well worth the journey? Did you guys like it? Should I focus on Magically Inclined now?

I wanna give out some special thanks to some of my most supportive reviewers:

**Charmkeeper**: Oh girly, where would I be without you? Thanks for all you've done.

**MeOrTheWallpaper**: Haha. Thank you. Like I seriously would have been lost without your guidence and advice.

**Ominous-Shadow**: Hey, you've been with me since the beginning! Thank you for that.

**And to the rest of my wonderful reviewers**: THANK YOU!!! Now that this story is done with, I hope that you guys will enjoy anything else you decide to read by me. Your support and thoughts have been the driving force behind this story's completion. Thanks again for all that you guys have done for me, because without you I would have been hopelessly lost. You all rock. Plain and simple.


	25. Extra 1: A Million Bits

**Extra 1: A Million Bits**

For as long as I could remember, I'd been wandering around in the dark. I could feel the hardness of the walls only when I ran into them. Even if I held my hands out to keep from running into concrete, I still found myself running into walls.

The day I ran away from Ashura's unforgiving household, we had mashed potatoes. Now let me explain myself. These mashed potatoes were not only the most putrid, foul, disgusting side dishes to ever be poured from a box, they were also Ashur's warning to me. As I choked down bite after bite of his poison I was closer to being hurt. You see, when Ashura gave the cooks the day off and made mashed potatoes with our dinner it meant only one thing.

_Tonight. _

It mean that he was going to beat me and/or rape me. For some reason that was his own little message to me: "Prepare yourself", or something to that effect, because it never failed, since I was eight, every time we had those horrible things, it happened.

First, I ate the damn meal, hating every bite of it but completely unable to not eat every morsel of food.

Next, Ashura went to his study, smoothed out the wrinkles in his latest business arrangement and I...well I usually buried myself in projects, homework, books, anything to keep my mind occupied with numbers, letters, comedy, anything except what was coming once the sun fell.

Later, I would lay in wait. I stared at my ceiling, shaking from the fear of when my door would open and what would happen when it was closed once again.

Finally, he would do what he always did. He'd come. Then he'd cum. Then he'd leave. Or he'd stay around to hit me a few times, degrade me. Tell me that he's stressed from work and that I was ungrateful to him. Usually he would stick around long enough to push me into the darkness I was unable to menuver.

So, the day that I ran away from Ashura we were eating mashed potatoes. But there was something different about that day, Ashura was eating dinner in his study rather than with me. Normally Ashura sat with me, when he first adopted me it was to create a time when we could be together. I didn't know why he continued to eat with me after all of the 'stuff' started happening. So, it was weird that he wasn't eating with me.

But, like the dutiful (adopted) son that I was, I ate the mashed potatoes, bite after agonizing bite. As I ate these things the idea of a place beyond the estate of Ashura formed in my head. Since I had only really seen Watertown, where Ashura adopted me from, and Saginaw from more than just a ritzy hotel's window, I didn't honestly know that people different from Ashura existed at all. I wanted to meet people who would make me smile for hours instead of forcing me to remember days when I used to smile.

Where there people who could do that for someone like me? Would they do that for me?

I wondered this as I scooped more of that filth into my mouth. Was it possible for someone as tainted as me to find happiness?

I swallowed the 'potatoes'. Could I actually find this person?

It was in this small moment, where as I lifted another heavy spoonful of disgusting dinner to my mouth that I thought, _I'll find them myself._ And as soon as I thought this small thought, it was stuck in my head. I didn't even have time to finish my dinner before I was up and running towards my hellhole room.

I threw open my door and grabbed my school bookbag. After unzipping all the pockets frantically I dumped all of my schoolwork, notebooks, and pencils onto my floor. I began stuffing clothes in. Clothes that didn't match at all, I didn't care. I just knew that if I didn't do this fast, my window of opportunity would be gone. I would never get another chance like this.

Without thinking I grabbed my cat, Darla, who let out an unlady like hiss-meow combo as I took off towards the front door of the mansion. At that point I was possessed with the idea of freedom and a myster person who might've been able to cure me of my isolation. I ran down a familiar path, one I took almost on a bi-weekly basis, I was running to Sakura's house. In the late autumn wind it was a surprise to me that I didn't get sick, I had no coat on, no hat, and no gloves.

Sakura answered her door almost immediately. She had to have been surprised by me, she didn't hide it at all, I was standing on her doorstep with my cat in my arms, no coat, and I was smiling like a mad man.

"Fai-san!" She exclaimed trying to pull me into her warm and loving house.

"No, Sakura," I told her standing my ground. "I'm going on a trip. Can you watch Darla for me while I'm gone?"

Completely perplexed she stuttered, "Wh-where are you going? Why are you going?"

For once I felt happy, "I'm going to find them!"

"Who?" Sakura asked as I handed Darla to her.

I turned to start walking away, "The people who are going to fumigate my room."

A lie. But I couldn't get Sakura involved in this. She was...without a doubt, the sweetest, kindest person I ever met. She could know nothing about my escape plan. I started to walk away when she called out to me again.

"Then let me take you to them!" she offered happily.

And with that, I escaped from Ashura's house. Easy.

* * *

I awoke with a start. It had been a long time since I dreamt about the day I left Ashura.

Every time I dreamt of that place I was scared that my escape had been the dream and I was going to wake up to another day of school, mashed potatoes and Ashura.

I rolled over on the dirty motel bed and saw that Kurogane was still asleep. I faced the wall again and tried not to worry about the dream.

But that was going to be impossible. Every time I had that dream it was like a warning to move. To move fast. When I dreamt of the night I left, it meant that Ashura was on my trail, local police, and such. I stared at the wall and tried my hardest to ignore the omen.

I gave up and rolled over to Kurogane. For a second my hand lingered on his warm back, and I felt his heat travel through my fingertips. I closed my eyes and fell into a shaky nap.

A few hours later I would roll over and tell Kurogane that I wanted to move on and we would go somewhere together. But, for now this was enough.

_End of A Million Bits_

* * *

**A/N: **Yeah, I've been wanting to do this piece for a loooooooooooooooong time. The main storyline didn't allow time for it though, so I thought, "OMG!!! Extras!!!" Yes. So I will have a few short side stories for the Bus Tickets phenomenom!! XD Lol. I think that I should do Kuro-tan's companion piece...what do you think of faithful and amazing reviewers? Should I? Or Shouldn't I? lol.

And a lot of you have been asking about my fictionpress account. Well here it is:** Sabaku No Rin**. I only have one story up so far, but the next will be there soon. The second story is paced to the first, so I have to wait for something to happen to start the next one. Lol. Look me up, leave me love and I shall love thee for it!!!


	26. Extra 2: Ahead of Me

**A/N: **Here is the highly anticipated Kuro-companion piece to Fai's runaway chapter!!! *throws confettii* YAY!!! Hope you guys like it.

Okay so I am reading Lolita by: Vladimir Nabokov and Dracula by: Bram Stoker right now and daaaaaamn are those books screwy. First of all Lolita is highly disturbing but sooo beautifully written that I can't put it down. For real I cannot predict this book. But the love written is so twisted and...AH!

**Summary:** _If the pain is too much to take, take it out on the smart-mouths in school..._

**Warnings: **Swearing (Oh---my-God! No!! No!!), Allusions to future shonen-ai (Woah...that's weird.) and sad!Tomoyo...(I feel so bad now....)

**

* * *

**

**Extra 2: Ahead of Me**

For a moment, just a moment, I had no idea as to why I was in the principal's office. First it was the nurse's office and now here, to the principal's. And how we had grow to know each other. I was in here almost every other day. If it wasn't a fight near the bus loop, it was a verbal beating during class. But I didn't care.

Those idiots, the ones that got me angry enough to throw punches, deserved what they got. How could I be blamed for someone else's stupidity?

"Kurogane!" the man yelled. "Do you not understand how serious this is?! You could be expelled for pulling off this stunt! And we only accepted you because Tomoyo said you would straighten up. Do you think that any other school will accept you with a record like this?!"

He waved my school record around before letting it fall to his sturdy oak wood desk. I looked around the room. Occupying my eyes with his many awards, degrees and pictures. No matter how much education this guy had, he still couldn't tell me what to do. No one could. I heard him sigh loudly, the room seeming to sigh with him.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," he whispered.

I didn't care what he did with me. So what if he expelled me?! It wasn't the end of the world! I glared out the window, not wanting to look at yet another face that was going to give up on me. There was a small knock at the door and a secretary poked her head in.

"Ms. Tomoyo and Ms. Kendappa are here," she said in a low and polite voice.

The principal let out a breath, "Send them in."

A minute later Tomoyo and Kendappa were sitting in chairs next to me, talking to the man behind the desk about my future. I wasn't listening. I honestly could say that I didn't care anymore. What was the point in caring, when all that you care about could be ripped away from you without warning?

* * *

The drive home was silent. There was nothing to say. Kendappa didn't want to say the obvious, that I'd fucked up. And Tomoyo was too deep in thought to even consider talking at this point. I felt the car go rigid with the unsaid statements. It would have been nice to not ride home with them, but the final decision was that I was expelled and I had no other way of getting home. Not that Tomoyo would have let me walk home, like I wanted to. She told me that we had a lot to talk about, but she had yet to say anything.

When we pulled up into the driveway Kendappa's motions were all quiet and almost sad. Tomoyo was still thinking, and was barely even aware of her surroundings. If she didn't know her patchwork house by heart then she would have probably ran into a few walls by now. I walked up the steep driveway and shot straight to my room. Souma would want to talk and I wasn't in the mood for talking.

I opened my door, fighting the boxes that blocked it. I had already lived in Tomoyo's house for more than six months and had yet to unpack. That didn't really matter though. I'd be out of her house soon. Today had for sure sealed my fate with Tomoyo's hospitality. She'd want nothing to do with me, a cousin who couldn't keep himself out of a fight. I laid down on my bed and fell asleep. I'd be getting the 'You'll be living with a new family' talk soon enough.

* * *

"Kurogane," Tomoyo called softly as she shook me. "Wake up. Kurogane."

I opened one eye, a feeling of guilt pressing into me as I looked up at her, "What?"

"Get up and get dressed," she instructed. "I'll be in the kitchen. We have to go somewhere."

I nodded sleepily. Had I really slept an entire night away? I sat up and did as she told me to. I found her, right where she said she would be. In the kitchen, Kendappa sat across from Tomoyo with an upset expression carved out on her face. Tomoyo gave me a somber smile.

"Pack a light bag," she said gently.

That night, (I later discovered it was about eight at night), I had an account set up by Tomoyo with all of my inheritance money, my father's life insurance and some 'rainy day' money as Tomoyo put it. Then I stood in a bus station, by choice, waiting for my bus to load. It was the first bus of many that would throw me into the active hands of fate. My life from then on was a mess of dirty motels, bumpy bus rides and one man that I'd never be able to forget (or shake off for that matter).

But at that point in my life I didn't care what would become of me on this journey of self discovery. The only thing that mattered was the note that sat idly in my palm as I shook and slid around on the first bus. Tomoyo slipped it into my hand as she and Kedappa gave me silent and sad goodbyes. What was written in this letter? Was it her final farewell, telling me that she never wanted to see me again?

There was only one way to find out....

* * *

_Kurogane,_

_I know that you will not understand why I am doing this and you will probably be quite mad at me while I am gone. But this was for your own good. I am your cousin and I care for you very much. That is why I am doing this. _

_Your father died. Nothing can change that. Not even the many fights you've gotten into while living with me and while you were moving from house to house. You are too confused. You are torn up inside and you need to face that pain. Please for your own sake, become stronger. Stronger in a way where you will be able to talk about your father's death and your mother's absence from the beginning. Become stronger. _

_I love you Youou Kurogane. Nothing will ever change that. When you are ready to leave the past in the past, come back home. _

_Love,_

_Tomoyo_

_End of Ahead of Me_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:**Yeah...I didn't go into as much detail as I had initially envisioned. But I am pleased with it. Bruised up Kuro-tan FTW!!!!

I am already in Florida and I am ready to get married! Wish me luck readers, because I am gonna need it...dealing with my family and all. Awww. Hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter of something (anything) out soon. I wish I had 24/7 internet access again. TT^TT So sad...


End file.
